The Bisexual Manifesto: Part Two  

teachlit77 41M
16 posts
8/15/2006 8:12 pm
The Bisexual Manifesto: Part Two

I knew the relationship was over when the dildo went into my ass.

One of my recent girlfriends was trying to -- honestly, blatantly, compensate for her lack of a penis. As if there were a problem of her not having one. She was very beautiful and sincere and truly a friend at heart, but like so many of us, contradictory in matters of love.

The more we talked of my bisexuality, the more upset she became, slowly, over time, like grains in an hourglass, until the topic irritated her so much that we couldn't discuss it.

Which was the beginning of the end.

Then she would try certain things. Some of them worked, but the dildo did not. As I laid on my back and felt her slip it in, I couldn't get over the feeling -- physically as well as mentally -- and ladies and bottoms, perhaps you know what this feels like -- that there was a piece of plasitc in my ass and it wasn't attached to a man, much less warm or human.

I knew then that I had to practice some sort of male desire. I also felt like I had given her the last piece of trust I had, and like a child with a new doll, broke it into pieces.

Being bisexual means being the most vulnerable. It means encounters that go wrong, intrusion into marriages, lots of crying, lots of politics, and a lot of watching as what you want to do unfolds before you, only to realize that you can't participate in it. You've been shut out by both because one of the two doesn't trust you.

It's not that a steady partner, or a spouse, can't satisfy. There was a certain rhythym to our sex life, but it was as secure as it was predictable and always as lovely. Over time you learn a person's sexual cues as they open up to you. It's not the rush of a new partner, but that rush can be overrated once suspicion sets in.

Men can fake it as well as women can. I'll tell you that one later.

But it's that the satisfaction is dual and requires another to complete the circuit. And that doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. I wouldn't want you to have a penis even if you wanted to. But now and then, for me to love you as who I am...

You know how the story goes.

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