On Discretion  

teachlit77 41M
16 posts
8/21/2006 9:25 pm
On Discretion


It was rather late last night that I ran into a guy on-line who struck my fancy. By fancy, I mean that his ass looked good and inviting. And, he was in town.

And so we chatted for a while, and as he asked me what I did for a living, he became more quiet and finally typed, "I do the same thing."

"Interesting" was my first reaction. He then went on to chat about the necessity of discretion. Of course, I said, I can be trusted. It's not my job, nor anyone elses, to "out" someone.

Because it's been my experience that people "out" themselves. It happens, eventually. In my opinion, it's best to be prepared for it. It's a part of the courage of who you should become, and, really, a courage that's an utterly essential part of sexuality.

He gave me his first name and I gave him my phone number. I went through my head, trying to match the name to someone I had met at the office. No luck.

And this is the other thing. Unless you are a total liar or complete fraud, someone can find out who you are. Though I haven't heard of it a lot, I suppose there is still room for blackmail or extortion of some kind. This is where courage should really kick in.

I still believe that courage transcends whatever fucked-up, impossible situation we get into.

I did some back-checking and found out who he was. I hadn't met him before, and there were understandable reasons for that. There was the knowledge that, yes, I knew who he was, but the respect that, no, there's no need, no need at all, to tell anyone.

But then, he never called. I still think he's more scared -- and fear does tend to dominate those who are not out -- that I may reveal a secret.

It's too bad too. I could've given him the best fuck he's had in years.

I hope that whatever happens in my life that the cost never becomes so high as to make me live in fear. And, in the choices I make, I refuse to put myself into the situation that would let fear prevail.

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