Contrary to popular belief.....  

tazzerman2000 60M
11249 posts
4/7/2006 7:38 am
Contrary to popular belief.....

the SMW (Skanky Man Whore) does in fact have a heart and feelings. Yep, it's true.

You all SHOULD know this about me.

I love my wife VERY much. She is in fact my soul mate and will always be. She's also my best friend. Without her I'd probably be dead now. If not that, I'd be less then half the man I am right now

So, those among us who want to flame me for my lying and cheating please, feel free. You can do no more than I do to myself. Trust me.

My wife and I connected on all levels immediately and we still do, expect for one. Sex.

Granted, when we first met, the sex was ok. Reasonable even. No real complaints from me. Not the greatest but then, being the pragmatist that I am, I figured I could live with it..

Well, unfortunately one day she found a cyst on her cervix. After many many many months, years etc the end result was a a hysterectomy and a complete oofercotomy.

After that the sex was never the same. It was ok but slowly over the next 4-6 years, it waned.

We finally hit the point about 3 years ago where sex was strictly a rote thing. She no longer enjoys it, no longer has orgasms, no longer has any passion or fire what so ever.

Many of you might think that maybe the SMW gave up... Not true my friends. I've spent hours, days, weeks even trying to please her, trying to rekindle that spark, trying to get her off. To no avail my friends.

Granted a big part of it is in fact psychological on her part. She REALLY doesn't like her self very much physically. In fact, I'd go so far as to say she hates her body at this point.

We've seen counselors, we've talked all in depth for hours and hours and continue to do so, to no avail.

This is what drove the SMW to first OutPersonals and men then to OP and more men. I deluded myself into thinking that as long as I stuck with men, it really wasn't cheating.


Well, I no longer live under THAT delusion.

But, as my own wife put it, I AM still a 'vital' man. My sexual urges need release.

That being said, I'm NOT willing to give up my loving wife. My soul mate, my life partner and best friend.

So where does that leave me, faithful readers? Stuck in world where I get what I can on the side. I live in two worlds that will NEVER know the other.

I fight guilt and shame every single day. I look at my soulmate and WANT to tell her but cannot, ever...

In the meantime, my own sexual urges come to the fore and I end up being trapped.

The only good thing out of all of this is the many friends and lovers that I've now met along the way. All are beautiful people. All share with me their most intimate selves. I make each and everyone of them aware of my situation and my dilemma. They understand and the very few that are true golden souls, help me through the roughest parts.

To you guys, I give you ALL of my love and heartfelt thanks..

You know who you are.


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Please visit my blog tazzerman2000

rm_goddess1946 107F
13518 posts
4/8/2006 5:01 pm

You are clear with who you are and according to your profile,
honest with those in your life. Your wife most likely loves
and appreciates you very much regardless of what is what sexually
between you...sometimes life happens that way and choices are
made. At least you are clear with yours. Blessings always..xo

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

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