A most pleasant fiction........  

tattooedartist 45M
459 posts
8/9/2005 8:10 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

A most pleasant fiction........

December 1/ Year of our Lord 1821

My Dear Beloved,

I hope this letter finds you, as I have no way of sending it nor any assurance that you will ever read this. I will address it to you in hope that once it is found, someone has the decency to help this letter make its way into your arms. I know it was not befitting of a young lady to go off as I did but my father did not raise us to be strong women, without the desire that we use our own minds and make our own choices. I have been so confused with all of the change that surrounds us. So much has changed and as time moves on, the war seems unavoidable. I simply wanted a few last weeks here in the North before our world changes for good and I would no longer be welcome here. A selfish act it seems, that may come at such a high cost.

You were right love, I sit here with my muted tongue and realize how foolish I have been. Forgive me dear one, I am not writing to speak of my despair but with the desires to say so many things I could reach you one last time, quite possibly, another selfi that may go unspoken or unknown. I needed to hope thatsh desire.

The weather here has turned cold and dark, the snow is so high outside these cabin walls that there is little chance for escape. How were we to know that Mother Nature would be so cruel. Ardeu, the stablemen brought here to care for me through the winter, took ill over a fortnight ago with Pneumonia. I did what I could to care for him in his time of need but I am afraid he was not strong enough to fight and I was not wise enough to save him. He died yesternight in the cold darkness of this place. Now I truly am alone here, my prayers and God above my only companion. I shall try and retrace our trip here in hopes of finding a place of solace and a hope for life.

I write this, knowing that I may not make it out of here and back to you, as my heart so longs for. A part of me is dying with each passing breathe. It would seem that my desire to have one last season to bid fairwell to my old heart, may very well bare me into the winter of my fate. My only thoughts now, as I sit here writing by the light of what little candlesticks I have left, is of my foolish wishes and the life it would seem will be robbed from us both, before it really began. I think of you, hundreds of miles away, working hard to finish your gift to your future bride, our new home. I think of how hard you pressed me not to go. How much your pleas fell on deaf ears of my selfish whims. I think of the plans we've made and the life you have so bravely cut out of the world beyond. For your love you say, for your loving Angel you tell me, for me.

How foolish I have been my prince, to walk on into the selfish desires of my wanting heart, needing one last endulgance of my desires. To bid farewell to what it would seem now, may never leave my grasp in this life. The fact that my foolishness will end without having the chance for you to help right my ways, is almost more than I can bare. I am a foolish woman but know that even in a fools heart, can live the bonds of love. I sit here now, truly knowing how much I love you, how terribly I adore each fiber of your being.

Do you remember love, our first night of happiness? How bliss seemed to reach out and define itself witin our view? I think back now, to that night you took your knee before all the world and bid me the love of your vast and deep heart, asking for my hand in marriage. I can close my eyes and think of it now as if I am still there, so vivid it all seems in the present darkness I now endure. So much these thoughts warm me.

Its getting so cold, I have used almost all of the wood that is left to dry. Soon, I must bundle myself in what warm garments I can manage and wander out into the darkness in search of answers to my prayers. Casting myself into the hands of God and His will that will reign. I am peaceful, so please know that I am not scared. I trust God Almighty with every ounce of my soul. So blessed I have been, even in my foolishness. So blessed to have the love of a man so beautiful and strong. Again I think of you, back in my Georgia, my Savannah, my home which seems so far away. As if it was only a dream. You are a dream love, a dream come true. Know with each passing moment that I love you, do not bring unto yourself the cold winds of hurt and anger. Thank God for each moment he gave us and move on with the path He has for your life, knowing He knows what is best for us all. I cannot blame God for this disaster, only my foolish whims. Yet beyond my choices lies His will and the ever present guidance He provides. Do not allow your heart to turn dark and cold with this loss, know that I will look on you with love, watching you become the man I love and cherish so. Promise me you will move on with your life, that you will do so for me, for yourself and the love we share. Do not forsake your heart or Gods plan for your life. Know the love I bare you denies all boundaries and will live on, beyond this life.

I am about to lose light my light, as sad as I find it, I must go. I can think of a thousand things I would write, as this letter would go on forever. Just know that I love you terribly and that I ask that you forgive me for breaking my promise to you, when I said I would return soon.

Know that our love lives on forever. Remember what I have said and do not follow your heart into this pain or present hurt. I am not yet defeated, even in my despair, for the love I would have for you I will fight on. Your strength, the beautiful strength I adored and cherished in you will carry you forth, forward into the promises of tomorow. Let your voice sing my love and live on, for me.

With the precious hands of love, our light shines on. In the past we have had a light which flickered, in the present we have a light which flames. In the future we will have a light which will burn for all the world to see.

Shine on my Prince, for me.

I love you from the deep abounds of my heart.

Your undying love, forevermore.

Victoria Lynn Beatramount

Synn74 43F
1206 posts
8/9/2005 5:07 pm

beautiful is all I can say....

I welcome you to the House of Syn...


8/10/2005 12:00 am

A beautiful post of bygone eras, to be able to go back to those times for just a bit.

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