MInd is all messed up  

taodoug65 52M
301 posts
9/7/2005 7:37 pm

Last Read:
10/12/2013 1:37 am

MInd is all messed up

I tried real hard. I canceled some blog entries that were negative. I offered help and tried to be positive..

I listened when people said 'Don't quit.."

What about the ones they say this and quit themselves> Huh.. Why do I have to listen> huh. TELL ME!

None of you can. No one can.. I wanted to talk to some one. Fuck - I wanted to let somebody not just read my pain.. And wanted some one to see it in my eyes.

But I am a man.. So I am told.. So the tears never flow.. The pain is never seen.. The cry will never be heard. But in stupid meaningless words.

What are you now going to say 'Hey taodoug.. I am here if you need me?' don't waste your time.. Why? you might think?

Because just like a burger at mcDonalds. life is cheap. Time costs a heart.. And mine is more tired then yesterday.

It is my time to quit. don't tell me why I have reasons to fight a never winning battle. The reasons - people give are bullshit..

So if you have something to say for this entry.. Other than taodoug make sure you die when there is no holiday or birthday celibrated that month.. So some one in your family doen't get screwed. I am all ears.

keithcancook 61M
17930 posts
9/8/2005 9:05 am

Hey taodoug! I saw an awesome sunset yesterday. I bet there is another one brewing up now!

taodoug65 52M
262 posts
9/8/2005 11:55 pm

Kieth - u r a very good guy - so i hope you will understand when i say "Shut - up."

up2nogoodgirl 44F
20 posts
9/10/2005 5:56 pm

nope dont have anything to say that wont get me a shut up..just do me one thing...make sure your kids know where to find your journals and how they can get access to those of us that can tell them what a great dad an friend you were to them an to us... yeah yeah i know im shutting up ..but i love ya anyway

taodoug65 52M
262 posts
9/12/2005 9:12 pm

Up2 - AL4L - you will never be told to shut up in my blog ever.. Thank you very much for your warm thoughts as awlays both of you. The anger is not just at one person.. But at myself for a path I chose..

as one of my favorite bloggeras always says..........


9/15/2005 1:25 am

The path of dark gloom shrouded with the pain and agony of death is a lonley unforgiving one I have walked down thatpath a time or two , I was able to cheat it , ,this time, when strolling on that path I felt the drainig of strength , will , angry , hurt and unfairness.If not to continue and stand up and fight a good battle for yourself then do it for your children. May you find some peace as you walk along the path. Yup now I will shut up too.

Huggs Blonde

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