Ode to Boobs:a low-brow moment  

superitaliano4u 38M
93 posts
2/19/2006 3:06 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Ode to Boobs:a low-brow moment

So I'm up late programming and I decide to take a break and fuck around on the internet. This means that I'm in a silly mood and I want to look up the dumbest, most meaningless, tasteless, unbelievable crap I could find. This is what I came across tonight...

Ode to boobs
By Pip Bishop

Dear boobs,

This heartfelt apology goes out to you all
For moaning you're too big or moaning you're too small

For wishing you didn't hang like puppies in sacks
Or just disappear when we lie on our backs

For squashing you flat with a minimising cup
or those torture bras that push you right up

Why is it always your bad points we mention
Like your inverted nips or your water retention?

Why don't we love you as much as our men
Or the babies that love you all over again?

Maybe we're scared to show you we care
In case, one day, you're simply not there

Now, one might think "hey, that was pretty funny, but why make a post about it"

Well, here's the deal. This poem was found on a breast cancer website and they have audio of a sexy brittish woman reading it out loud! I was laughing my ass off!

I've also reconfirmed that there's nothing sexier than a brittish girl saying naughty things. "Boobs" HAHA!

Boob TLC - touch, look, and check... wow, we men have that down pat!


superitaliano4u 38M

2/19/2006 3:14 am

ok ok... I had to search for a follow up...

Ode to my pussy
by lerato madimabe

My dear pussy
Ever often so juicy
Thought I’d take this time
To honour you with a few rhymes

Just so you know
I ain’t no ho
Who’ll use you to her own ends
Coz you know me and you we’re like best friends

Because of you I can get turned on
From dusk till dawn
It may sound just plain horny
But then again this whole thing is a bit corny

You don’t smell like fish
And that whole thing about you tasting like chicken is just a wish
Just another product of patriarchy
Spread around by boys who got lucky

Enough to part your red lips
And probe you with their chapped lips
Which brings me to another point:
All them names to refer to you that have been coined

Vagina is just too damn clinical!
Yes doctor, while you’re at it can you cure my angina ‒ too cynical!
Cunt is too rude
Poonanee is too cute
While beaver’s plain weird
And muff makes you sound like just a hole with a beard

Of all these names it’s pussy I prefer
For its casual attitude ‒ that savoir faire
None of that “the portal from whence all babes are born”
If you look at it long enough it’s just as porn

You’ve been fingered
And ‘lingered’
Poked at
And smoked at (we wont even go there)

You’ve been scrubbed and shaven
Which I can only imagine has left you shaken
And let’s not talk about waxing
'Sides, I don’t hear you axing

I know I’ve cursed your monthly bleeds
But I guess that fulfils certain needs
Coz I read somewhere that war is menstrual envy
Just think: if men had periods battlefields would be empty

All this referring to you to you in the second person is strange
So skitzofrenikly deranged
Coz I is you and you is me
We cannot exist apart and still be free

Someday I might wanna remove pieces from you
Experiment a little bit on you
I’ve always wondered what you’d look like with relaxed hair
Sadly though you might be ,
which sometimes makes me not wanna take you out for air

Thru all this though just know I love you
And if you feel me just get wet and keep it true

Authors note:
This is a little thing i penned during my varsity days. It was inspired by a conversation i had with my friends after watching Eve Ensler's "Vagina Monologues" on TV, and is my contribution to the love-thy-kitty movement. My friends have been nagging me to move it out of the pubic area and into the public arena. So, i thought what better way than through Agenda's Poetry section, because though it's written in a humourous style, some parts of it are serious. I've been accused of being obsessed with the subject, but you gotta admit - it is a fascinating organ.

not exactly Robert Frost, but it'll do


SilkenKiera 39F  

2/20/2006 10:42 am

LOL! I know that I'm included in this group!

Kiera


superitaliano4u 38M

2/21/2006 6:08 am

boobies


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