Rude Greeting Cards  

steamyandsexybi 45F
3170 posts
8/28/2006 4:15 pm

Last Read:
9/4/2006 10:32 am

Rude Greeting Cards


Rude Greetings Cards You Will Never See in the Hallmark Store

1. Front: I heard you have gone deaf.
Inside: I'll bet you didn't.


2. Front: I'm sorry to hear you have gone blind.
Inside: See you later, you fucking bastard!


3. Front: I'm sorry to hear you are brain dead.
Inside: It's really not that bad when you think about it.


4. Front: My sympathies on the last of your father's teeth falling out.
Inside: Well, dadgummit!


5. Front: My condolences on the loss of your arms.
Inside: Write back soon!


6. Front: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease.
Inside: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease.


7. Front: I heard that you were very sick.
Inside: I hope that you die painlessly.


8. Front: I heard you were dead.
Inside: I hope it was painless.


9. Front: I heard your whole family got shot.
Inside: So I turned up the volume on the stereo.


10. Front: Congratulations on your first period!
Inside: Let's go out and paint the town red!


Well, I did warn you they were rather rude!

sexymamma662003 33F

8/28/2006 5:44 pm

rude hell those were fucked up LOL

~sexy~


cactusass 57F

8/28/2006 7:41 pm

i had posted this over in miss krissy's group, ut it applies here as well.

Rejected Hallmark cards
Some versus that didn't quite make the cut:


So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
---------------------------------------------------
"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder: What the hell was I thinking?"
--------------------------
"I'm so miserable without you,
It's almost like you're here."
---------------------------------------------------
"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!" (available only in Kentucky and West Virginia)
---------------------------------------------------
"Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your wife."


cactusass 57F

8/28/2006 7:48 pm

a few more:

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire.
I noticed your cat. Sorry!

You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend.
Here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
that you're not here to ruin it for me."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!!
I never knew what evil was before this!"

"When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise."


Mr_sweetness 46M
2599 posts
8/28/2006 10:14 pm

HUGS and for you those were good

Peace, cause there is to much violence and blood shed in the world!!

Love, cause there is to much hate in the world!!

Happiness, cause it feels good and life is to short to be mean and unhappy all the time!!


rm_naughty4u506 50M
85 posts
8/29/2006 5:56 am

I almost gagged after reading #10! Twisted humor at its best. Nice ones. lol


steamyandsexybi 45F
2784 posts
8/29/2006 12:05 pm

DBG~ Hmmmm....(contiplating more naughty thoughts, thanks to you-again! lol) Two evil minds think alike, I must say!
Thanks!!

Mr.Sweetness~ Hugs (oo) and kisses (xxxxxx) back to you! lol
If I knew how to use the smileys, I'd send those to you but I havent had much time to 'experiment' lately. Thank you!

naughty,LOL...guess what? My daughter got her "first" period 2 days before this past Christmas! Of course, being the "good mommy" I am, and it caught me AND HER by surprise, I added some humor to her day and told her...."Merry Christmas!" RED fit the occasion and holiday just so perfectly! lmao!...(of course, I consoled her too!) She took it quite well!


steamyandsexybi 45F
2784 posts
8/29/2006 12:26 pm

sexymamma,

LOL! I know!...it was beyond rude,eh?
LMAO


rm_naughty4u506 50M
85 posts
8/30/2006 6:02 am

    Quoting steamyandsexybi:
    DBG~ Hmmmm....(contiplating more naughty thoughts, thanks to you-again! lol) Two evil minds think alike, I must say!
    Thanks!!

    Mr.Sweetness~ Hugs (oo) and kisses (xxxxxx) back to you! lol
    If I knew how to use the smileys, I'd send those to you but I havent had much time to 'experiment' lately. Thank you!

    naughty,LOL...guess what? My daughter got her "first" period 2 days before this past Christmas! Of course, being the "good mommy" I am, and it caught me AND HER by surprise, I added some humor to her day and told her...."Merry Christmas!" RED fit the occasion and holiday just so perfectly! lmao!...(of course, I consoled her too!) She took it quite well!
OMG ..... lol, wayyyyy to much info steamy! lol I absolutely refuse to get into menstration stories here! Too damn funny.


tadpudgy 57M

8/30/2006 4:29 pm

LMFAO.....I thought Shoe-Box used the Hallmark rejects. I think we need more cards that say what we really feel!! I want to thank my boss for the 35-cent an hour raise.....LMAO. Would send a letter to tell my dad, but can't pay for the stamp!!! GIGGLE=GASMS!!


steamyandsexybi 45F
2784 posts
9/2/2006 3:56 pm

    Quoting rm_naughty4u506:
    OMG ..... lol, wayyyyy to much info steamy! lol I absolutely refuse to get into menstration stories here! Too damn funny.
naughty,
Sorry! Seems like you saw "red" when I told that story,huh? lol
Didnt mean to embarrass ya!.giggling......how do ya think we women feel every single darn month? LOL


steamyandsexybi 45F
2784 posts
9/2/2006 3:59 pm

    Quoting tadpudgy:
    LMFAO.....I thought Shoe-Box used the Hallmark rejects. I think we need more cards that say what we really feel!! I want to thank my boss for the 35-cent an hour raise.....LMAO. Would send a letter to tell my dad, but can't pay for the stamp!!! GIGGLE=GASMS!!
tad,

YEAH!- What you said!
Hey....I can only wish my boss at my old place of employment considered any kind of raise. He's squeeze a penny so tight, he can make Lincoln scream. lol

Scream=Gasms!


rm_naughty4u506 50M
85 posts
9/3/2006 4:48 am

    Quoting steamyandsexybi:
    naughty,
    Sorry! Seems like you saw "red" when I told that story,huh? lol
    Didnt mean to embarrass ya!.giggling......how do ya think we women feel every single darn month? LOL
DAMNIT! lol


steamyandsexybi 45F
2784 posts
9/3/2006 7:20 am

naughty, dontchya hate it when "red" is everywhere ya go lately? lmao!


rm_naughty4u506 50M
85 posts
9/3/2006 2:57 pm

That was totally uncalled for! lol Tube sock wearing lady!


steamyandsexybi 45F
2784 posts
9/4/2006 10:32 am

    Quoting rm_naughty4u506:
    That was totally uncalled for! lol Tube sock wearing lady!
naughty,

Hey! I cant help it! Weren't YOU the one who mentioned "reddoor26" sending you a wink once? Did ya send RED one back? ~ wink
lol


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