Not the rest  

starsareHistory 49M  
22 posts
7/23/2006 4:20 am

Last Read:
10/21/2016 10:23 pm

Not the rest


I attended a bachelor get together this evening. I had worked some nine or ten hours prior the event. Although I was happy to show my friendship to the husband to be by attending, I just felt out of place.

I was not into the drinking and overall party kind of feel this night.

Many of those attending were not people I know. Matter of fact the person I most identified with is originally from New Zealand. More stories to tell and a different angle on things seemed more interesting than most other items on the visual agenda.

Whomever arranged the evening included some entertainment provided by two young ladies. They were cute and sexy, and were there to make a days pay. They displayed various things (lap dances, whipped cream body shots and lesbian encounters and the like).

A few of those present wanted and encouraged me to partake in a lap dance or whatever, however I just wasn't there. Not on a mental level, physical level or anything else. I simply did not want to receive meaningless physical attention when it is known to go no deeper than pretense. In other words: what's the point?

Don't get me wrong, the ladies were very attractive and part of me enjoyed the "show", but I always seem to damper that part of me in hopes for true meaning and connection with another.

Perhaps I am limiting the enjoyment of my own humanity? Maybe I should "let go" a little more? I don't know right now.

I do know this: My walls will come down, and my inhibitions will weaken when there is true meaning. When there is something more.


_Paper_Dress 30F
19 posts
11/6/2011 3:24 pm

I blog elsewhere, and just recently made a post about this.

I've always found that "letting go" leaves me empty. It's not my normal modus operandi.

Don't doubt what comes naturally to you. There's nothing wrong with keeping your walls up until you can find a little connection, a little intensity.

starsareHistory 49M  
34 posts
11/15/2011 1:36 am

Thank you Paper Dress.

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