spunky11961 57M
37213 posts
7/21/2006 4:10 pm

My mom just up and disappeared today ~all day~ She wasn't here when I woke up! this was very troublin'! I found that she did have a hair appointment at noon, but she left at six am~with the car~ She can drive but it aint a good thing! She just reappered a little while ago,remembers going for a perm and down to the farm,but nothing else~
ever day I see a little more that her symptoms aren't just due to her stroke~She's starting to show signs of dementia and a tremble that looks like Parkinson's among many less minor things to boot!
I'm seein' these past few days,that it's just a matter of time before I won't be able to take care of her any longer!
But I made that promise to my dad just as he was dyin',
I do know that soon it's time to take away her keys to her car! It's a tough thing to do to a woman who once stood so proud,I don't want to hurt what little dignity she has left!
tough choices are ahead for me and I know I must make them for her~
but I can't let her suffer that indignity she had in a rest home!
Just when it seems rough things get tougher,But then it must really be tougher on her!
It's just hard to stand by and watch someone once so proud be crippled and humbled like she is now........
well enough of this little selfish rant,time to go see to her needs!


VCF1962 106F

7/22/2006 5:54 am

Hell Spunks - there's nothing selfish in that AT ALL.

If looking out for your Moms best interests is selfish, then I wonder what kindness is for you ?!

At some point you have to say that she will need someone there 24/7 and unless you can afford to give your job up, it's an unfortunate reality that someone else will have to do the caring.

You can still be there for her in lots of ways and by making sure that she's safe, she knows that you love her.

Mistress Innuendo
Taking what you say and turning it into something naughty !!

spunky11961 replies on 7/22/2006 11:04 am:
Thanx You for all of that,You are a real pleasure! I'm sein' that I'm not going to always be the best answer to her needs,some day for her own good I see rough choices that will have to be made,for her best welfare! again thanx for your carin' words~

countryheart_71 46F
8081 posts
7/21/2006 10:13 pm

It's never easy to watch a loved one get weaker. I took care of my grandmother and it was the hardest thing to see her put in a home. She had alzheimer's and I loved listening to her stories about when my dad and his brother's and sister's were younger. I was the only grandchild that she remembered. She passed away when I was pregnant with my daughter. Now she is named after her, in my grandmother's honor. I know it's hard but just remember that the sweet memories will help you through this. You are such a great guy!


spunky11961 replies on 7/22/2006 11:00 am:
Hello Country! you are precious,Your gramma must have realy been proud of YOU! Treasure those storie just as we've talked~
and Thanx for ya carin' words here they do mean alot!

moonlightphoenix 46F
6508 posts
7/21/2006 9:16 pm

She's a blessed woman to have a son who cares. Know your limits. That's the best thing for you both.

Not an easy thing. My heart goes out to you both.

spunky11961 replies on 7/22/2006 10:57 am:
Hello Moonlight,Thanx for your kind words here~ Ya are a treasure and your words mean alot to me,I'm seein' my limits more clearly everyday
as clear as any insomniac can in the light of day~

bbw4u06 51F

7/21/2006 7:26 pm

Well by doing what you have to do your fulfilling what you promised. I mean its true you have to help her keep the dignity she once had, and if she is driving like that and there was a accident then that would be very upsetting to her. Maybe throw her deeper into her problems. Fingers crossed and a hug for you.

spunky11961 replies on 7/22/2006 10:52 am:
Hello welcome and thanx! you are a pleasure,as are your words,and very true on the drivin'! thanx again for everythin' here!

sexyariesgirl 59F

7/21/2006 6:32 pm

I'm with Cute on this one darlin.....DO NOT feel guilty when the time comes that you can no longer provide all the care for your Mom! Your Dad would never want that. I know it just breaks your heart to see this strong, once vital woman begin to fail. It's so hard for us to watch our parents become the children in a sense and we must become the parents.

Big giant HUGGS to you darlin!!!!!!!!!!

Power To FOK

spunky11961 replies on 7/22/2006 10:50 am:
Awww Thanx Sexyaries,Ya always have such kind heartfelt words!They mean alot to me~ ~thanx for that and the HUGGS!

cuteNEway 42F

7/21/2006 6:06 pm

Do NOT worry about breaking that promise to your father! Yes, you promised to take care of her but if you alone cannot take care of her needs, and you don't get someone to help you then you're not keeping the promise.

Think about it that way so that when you have to hire a home attendant or a nurse, you KNOW you aren't guilty of breaking that promise.

spunky11961 replies on 7/22/2006 10:48 am:
Hello CuteN! Ya are a true treasure! Your kind words mean alot to me,Thanx you for that! ~great ta see your profile back~

lovemetouchme5 52F
2102 posts
7/21/2006 5:25 pm

Although each day seems a little harder than the next, your mom needs you. You're not being selfish in this post! You are a kind, caring man, and you are worried about your mom. That's not being selfish! Talk to you soon...Loveme

spunky11961 replies on 7/22/2006 10:45 am:
Awww Thanx Loveme! ya are a treasure~ Talk to ya later~

4biddenlove4us 50F

7/21/2006 5:05 pm

When the Rough get going, the Tough get going and you one Tough young man so keep up the spunk!!! You only have one MOM.
Take care sweets ~ s ~

spunky11961 replies on 7/22/2006 10:44 am:
Hello welcome and Thanx!Ya are a real pleasure! your words here mean alot to me,Thanx again for that~

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