Restless Sleep  

softnlush 54F
878 posts
3/4/2006 7:29 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Restless Sleep


It is starting again..my battle with insomnia. I always know when it is starting by how many times I wake up in the night..last night I woke up 10 times,10 times..I am exhausted now and it is only 1017am..

It started after 9/11/..I went 3 days with a total of 10 hrs sleep,I was edgy at work most times and would bawl my eyes out for no reason and I felt I was going a little crazy,it last 8 months,when sleep finally came,I worried people with thoughts I was having some deep depression,because I wanted to sleep rather than eat or go out. I honestly believe that could have been it,but for the most part my body needed sleep.

It happens for a few months every year since then,the worst being when I lived in Inuvik,My Sir worked different shifts so I always wanted to be awake when he came home,after 6 months of this I rarely slept,he would try anything to get me to sleep because he was concerned..once I went 2 days straight with not 1 blink of shut eye and then pretty much passed out after he gave me an orgasm with this magic fingers *giggles*,I think he did it more to make me pass out than to get me off but all in all,I got both.

When my mom was dying I spent 3 weeks at her bedside,sleeping on a cot next to her bed at the hospice,her breathing was very bad and although I tried to sleep,I was so intune with her I would jump out of the cot at the slightest shift her body made. I would suction her,and rub her feet and hands,kiss her forehead and wipe her tears. I looked terrible,I could not care for myself while she was going thru this..for 3 weeks I maybe got an hour sleep a day..when I moved to Fla,Blu knew I had sleep issues and when I fell asleep she just let me be..My sleep came easy,for a while.

Now it is starting again,I am trying to think if something is bothering me other than just some disappointments I have had these last 2 months. Work is tiring and when I get home I pretty much crash within an hr of my arrival..2 days ago I went to bed at 1030pm and woke up at 9am..without waking up..before then I went to be 11p-1am and woke up several times..and last nite..I woke up 10 times..yep I counted..and what I mean by wake up is be totally awake..watch tv,play on the puter..then when Ifeel tired go back to bed..sometimes it is for 1/2 hr..sometimes an hour or more..so pretty much ..no sleep if you think about it.

The only times I ever really had contented sleep came after a long bout with insomnia,then I would have 6 months maybe a year of sleep and it starts again for 2-6 months..depending.

I hope it is just a bad couple of months and not a sign of another really long one..I am not bitchy to be around or anything like that,but when I go through this I am very lathargic and rarely have the energy to do much of anything,and that is a downer.

Oh well,time will tell if this is just a minor insomnia attack or the real deal..I hope for my sake it is ending sooner than later

tired,
snl

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