And there you have it..  

softnlush 54F
878 posts
6/3/2006 8:31 pm

Last Read:
6/4/2006 4:31 am

And there you have it..

I saw him today for the first time in over 3 was great to see him,to talk to him face to face,to touch be with him.

We talked at length,he loves his job,and as much as we care about eachother,it will not work out as more than what it is,while he is still doing it..It is the reason his marriage ended,it is the reason he cannot care as deeply for anyone again,his job is his calling,he believes it as so and I respect that.

He told me,he respects me more than anyone he knows and deals with,and that is saying alot,he looks forward to his times with me and apologizes for how it ended up turning out,we are not over but we are no longer exclusive,at least I am not exclusive anymore..he knows the reality..I cannot live on a visit here and there when we are apart more than we are together,I am interested in someone fact I told him I had 2 interests but one did not pan out the way I had hoped..he also knows if that had happened..I would have been exclusive to that person..he understood my feelings on it.

Since it did not work out with that person..we agreed to see eachother when he was in town,but that I would be open to another gentleman that I have an interest in here and there..he said "you do not have to tell me when and what,if you choose not to"..and I told him the same..I rather not know,unless I ask you directly..we agreed to that.

Our time together,for a change I will not share except to say,in all the times I have been with him,it was never like this..perhaps it is because of the fact that we may not see eachother again..or that it may be months before we do..I respect him enough to say that what we shared today,is between us.

I realized today as we talked and laughed and shared and touched..that he is one of the best men I know..if things were different I could see myself with him for the long haul. I also wish him every happiness with this choice he made to dedicate himself totally to his work and when he comes to town to be available to him..with my freedom also intact for me to do what I wish without guilt.

After he left I savored the moment then had to head over and pick up some of my co workers and head to Tropicana field for an office field trip to a baseball game...we had a pre-game tail gate party catered by Jimbo's BBQ..good people,good times..drove them back home and soon heading to bed myself..a nice of the best I had in a long time.

I am content that FWB and I,no matter what will always be in eachothers lives in some aspect,whether as friends or lovers or both. I am happy that he realizes my needs and respects and cares enough about me to give me what I own own life..and he will always be a part of it..but he cannot be all of it. Not like this,neither one of us would do well at it.

Anyway..time for bed..sleep well people..

Happy Saturday/almost sunday


rm_JohnMacLaine 51M
585 posts
6/3/2006 10:09 pm

I am glad you worked it out with him. You and I have spoken about this a few times over the last couple of months and I know the frustration you felt over it. I am glad you got it resolved, and I am glad he understands. You did good sweetie, I am very proud!!

*warm hugs*


"I can retain neither respect or affection for a government which has been moving from wrong to wrong in order to defend its own immorality" Mahatma Ghandi

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