Why am I not following the rules?  

so_much_trouble 39F
86 posts
10/22/2005 10:26 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why am I not following the rules?

I have been a player in the game for several years. I know all the rules. I know how to act, when to not call, how to play hard to get. When it comes to men, I call them my "chew toys". But, for some reason, I can not pull my head out of my ass on this one. I have no idea what is wrong with me. Why is it that when I finally meet a REAL man, I fuck it up by being "girlie". I can not help but call him. I just want to be around him. I don't ever get like this. With anyone. What the hell is going on? Please help me. Why do I have NO self control with him?

I heard a song today for the first time. It has been a ringtone for a friend of mine for several weeks, but I never actually listened to the words until today.

"Do you realize that you have the most beautiful face??
Do you realize we're floating in space??
Do you realize that happiness makes you cry??
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die??"

This appeals to my morbid sense of being. It really never occurred to me that EVERYONE I know will die. It kind of puts things into perspective. I am really starting to look at things now with an expiration date. What might I miss out on if I am too afraid to ask for what I want?


fussypussy2005 52F

10/22/2005 11:42 pm

do you think you might have fallin for this guy ?
i am the same as you a player and now have meet a guy and its the same for me i have no control ???????
it is a bit mad but my mate say that is the reason i am going on like this . good luck with him .


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