Life As A Thong  

snowbunnie1966 51F
31 posts
3/7/2006 5:44 pm

Last Read:
3/14/2006 9:35 pm

Life As A Thong

Dear Diary,

What the heck is with being so tiny, kute and sexy? It has its hazzards, believe me, especially if you are thong undies. Put your self in my place for a minute. I am dumped in a huge bin in department stores, and all these hands pick through me, checking me out. I have to be the right color, the right style, the right feel and even the right size. Then you get the little old ladies that are so inquisitive and curious, picking me up in all my nakedness and holding me in thin air. Sometimes I am dangled, pulled and tipped upside down while they try to come to some conclusion as to what I am. What strange piece of apparell could i be? Maybe a new style hair net? Naw. Maybe something that forgot to be stitched properly or a forgotten piece of material that should of been added. Then the whispers start that I must be the discount bin for imperfections. Go figure. And if that isn't bad enough, well once i end up through the cash register, i have the car ride home smothered in a plastic bag, barely even able to breath. I sure know how asthma sufferers feel. Someone pass me the inhaler. I eventually end up thrown in a drawer and then that is it. Shut up. No one ever thought to ask if i was clausterphobic at all or afraid of the dark. What really gets me in a knot is how rudely i get disturbed from my warm bed, all nestled in with my other thong sisters. I feel the sliding movement of the drawer being opened, and i am suddenly plucked from the bunch and slam goes the drawer. Not that i am in any danger of it hitting me in the ass on the way out. The only nice thing about what i am is the feeling of being up against nice soft skin. Moving on up is a reward for me. I get to be nestled into the crack of a nice set of curvatious ass cheeks and i get to feel the soft folds of the inner thighs. Okay, we are not even going to go there. We're good up until this point of things, until i get a pair of jeans covering me up. Sheesh, talk about feeling like getting a blanket thrown over your face. I didn't think i was that bad looking.
My day kinda starts early and out the door we go. I certainly get alot of exercise. No complaints there and i can eat all I want and never gain a pound My day goes pretty good except i don't get to see a whole hell of a lot. Talk about being cooped up. The only time i am lucky enough to see the light of day is if it is a trip to the loo. Even then, that is not even so fun. Instead of being gently slid down, i go for the free fall down around the ankles. It gets worse if it is that time of the month. Nothing like having something stuck onto you for a day and having to carry it around. At least someone was thinking when they made maxi pads for us thong guys. Beats feeling like you are being weighted down with a heavy mattress. This is about the time i lose a little weight too as I cannot eat anything for about a seven day period. Call it "as the pad turns."
I swear when they rip those things off me me, they take a little of my skin with it. And I thought all women had the gentle touch.
So, at the end of it all, into the washing machine i go,almost literally drowned and thrown into the dyer on hot to be tumbled. And once again, I am tossed back into the drawer waiting for another day to arrive when i will be let out and hoisted up onto a set of nice hips for another day of paradise. Not!
So, when all you women think that you want me, have some thought for the little guy here!

rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
3/7/2006 7:19 pm


Purry {=}


libgemOH 57M/53F

3/7/2006 7:23 pm

ROFL!!! Thank you for ending my day on that note!!!!

wildoats19622 56M
3530 posts
3/7/2006 7:34 pm

a brief reply,

It can be a drag in men's wear too. Can you imagine being beaten by boxers? They used to be old men's underwear. Look around at them now and you see all kinds of patterns and colors. What do I get, white. Occassionally, one solid color. Oh sure, we come in a few different styles. If you want to call them styles. We do get a few breaks now and then though. We're prepackaged with our brothers so no one is handling us in the store. When we get to our new home it's a different story though. Did you ever meet a guy who folds underwear properly? We get pulled from the dryer and if we're lucky we might find ourselves in a drawer. Usually I just end up in the clean basket. And the trips to the loo, Puh-leez. Some of these guys don't seem to like touching themselves to shake it out. How would you like to go through life with pee stains on your front. As for the back, I'm kinda glad I don't ride up inside those BIG hairy cheeks. Life goes on though. When my elastic is gone and my seams start to fray I'll face the same fate as my predecessors. Dismemberment, and my panels used for polish rags. I wonder if I'll polish shoes or brass?

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.

canuck9999 60M
1 post
3/8/2006 7:52 am

You are so funny!!! Killed myself laughing reading this

AmberSolaire 43M

3/8/2006 2:29 pm

you will be happy to hear that they are out of fashion then.......I hear the next fashion is barbed razor wire WEG


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