The Lover and the Beloved  

smartnfun1961 56M
36 posts
12/20/2005 8:05 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Lover and the Beloved

I remember seeing as a kid (what we today would call) a music video of the Beach Boy's California Girls. As the band sang through each type of girl in America, a girl would stand up and go sit next to one of the band members and clearly display her interest in him, at which turn the band member would get up, leave her, and go to another girl displaying his affection toward her. And then the cycle started all over again. I still remember, after all these years, being struck with the irony depicted: love is the constant merry-go-round chase of lover and beloved, neither ever finding satisfaction.

Talk about life imitating art! What efforts we expend as lovers in pursuit of our beloved, the object of our interest and desire. How casually, and typically with little thought, we, as the beloved, rebuff the would-be lover.

Is there no getting off this not-so-merry-go-round?

Evidently not for most. I'm not interested in calculating the dismal percentages. So how about just thinking about what it would mean to get off that not-so-merry-go-round?

I have to say that the friend with benefits idea strongly commends itself to me. Who cannot find this notion attractive: two people, truly friends to a reasonable level, who also enjoy all the pleasures and satisfactions provided by a committed lover; yet avoiding the overhead that (experience teaches) inevitably becomes associated with "committed" relationships (oh, let's not go into all that now. . .)?

Yes, a friend (or two) with benefits would be a nice way to get through life, one week at a time.

But I cannot tell a lie (har har). I am a romantic at heart. I remain captivated by the idea of a beloved who is also my lover - that is, one who finds me as unfathomable, erotic, and satisfying as I find her. And we experience each other this way for a long time (I'm not even going to say "for a lifetime"). Yes, believe it or not, the romantic in me wants the merry-go-round to stop one day. Think of it as a long-term, really deep friend with benefits situation.

Oh, I'll do just fine if it doesn't happen like that. I'll definitely enjoy the companionship of (ahem) friends. Life has way too much to offer to sit around and grieve for the possibilities that never occurred.

But don't think for a second that I won't be looking like a hawk for the circumstance in which more of my dreams will find reality. After all, what else would you expect from a true romantic?

SecretKeeperr 49F
56 posts
12/21/2005 10:16 pm

"...don't think for a second that I won't be looking like a hawk for the circumstance.."

A hawk? Seeking it's prey, weakend, without defense? An easy mark, targeted; the art of illusion is generally all it takes.

I invision red pinnicles with nests perched up high. The depths of hunger's vision, peircing though what seems miles -- then like a radar -- fixed, focused and void of all distractions. There is nothing else that matters but this targeted prey for a hunger to be fulfilled.

Now for you, alone:

I couldn't help myself from responding to words that spark hidden truths. Please understand, I am musing.. in this blogging land. ::grins::

Keep writing. Don't ever stop. There is so much more for you to express... I enjoy reading your thoughts.

smartnfun1961 56M
30 posts
12/22/2005 12:02 am

An interesting reading, but I think it goes partly astray,
For surely I have made it clear that my object could never be mere prey,
My beloved is not weak, and she has no need of defense (from me),
But fixed, focused, and undistracted, yes, that would be me,
To fulfill this hunger is indeed the key,
I understand, O Muse, the role that you play
I look forward to hearing your song each and every day

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