How much sex is enough?  

skindiver4605 59M  
23 posts
6/10/2006 4:51 pm
How much sex is enough?

What is enough sex?

What is enough sex to satisfy you as a person? I started thinking about this because my wife’s desire for sex has dropped off in the last year since she turned 40 and after we got married.
When I was single I generally was sexually active two to three times a week. I was generally dating two or three women, and was in different points of relationships with them. Also I did have a “Friends With Benefits” situation with a couple of women.
When I met my wife, she seemed to have as large a sex drive as I did. When we were cohabitating, same work schedule same stress levels she was receptive or initiated sex 4-5 times a week often 2 or more times a day. In last years since we were married, things have shall we say cooled off to maybe once a week
Now before anyone gets on their high horse, this is not an indictment or criticism of her. This is background and an attempt to figure out if I’m normal, abnormal, out in left field and to get some feed back.
I have been chatting with my wife, friends, male and female trying to get a handle on this. Anecdotal information from a very NON-scientific polling of friends, and our coworkers makes me wonder just what is true. I know that there are multiple factors that flow into this, work habits, life events, stress levels, kids, etc.; however, when you look at normal everyday live things seemed to break down with most of the guys would be happy with sex three to four times a week. Wives were less motivated they would “put up with” three times a week but would prefer once a week.
Well that pushed me to see what real research there was out there. So Google, Ask and the www brought answers and more confusion as it ranges in a gamut from “what is okay between the two of you” to “it depends upon your spiritual growth”.
Well those answers were pretty vague, but what amazed me the number of sites, blogs, books and Q&A pages there were on the subject!
I found an interesting book called Sex in America by Edward Laumann, Robert T Michael, Gina Kolata . The book had an interesting chart that looked at averages for sexual activity for men and women, while single, married and while cohabitating.
What was interesting was the flip between married and cohabitating.

Social Characteristics Not at all A few times per year A few times per month 2 or 3 times a week 4 or more times a week
Men 14 16 37 26 8
Women 10 18 36 30 7
Marital/Residential Status
Noncohabiting 23 25 26 19 7
Cohabiting 0 8 36 40 16
Married 1 13 43 36 7
Noncohabiting 32 23 24 15 5
Cohabiting 1 8 35 42 14
Married 3 12 47 32 7

I know that this leaves as many questions as it does answers. Because it tells what people are doing, not desire. Me I’d love it every day twice a day! LOL!!! What do you think? I’d be interested in your ideas.


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