shoonka 64M
2 posts
3/29/2006 2:49 pm

Last Read:
10/15/2008 11:40 am


The terms LOVE and SEX point to two different things. SEX is one of our basic life drives or needs. It can be indefinitely postponed (You can last 40 days without food ‒ 4 days without water ‒ 4 minutes without air!) however,if we are deprived or choose not to participate it will be reflected in our compensating behavior.

As a basic drive or need, SEX, like eating or breathing should not be subject to guilt or shame. It is a natural, neutral fact of who we are. However, we meet needs within the context of social responsibility. Eating is a need - being a glutton is not. Peeing is a need however we restrict when and where...

SEX is for making babies (duh) and that is great in the context of the responsibility which requires 20-some years to raise the child. SEX is also fun, re-creational, stress reducing, a deep way to communicate affection and bonding. It is a guiltless, ecstatic gift of life when exercised with honesty, respect and mutual consent.

LOVE is the voluntary act of opening one's boundaries to assist a "beloved" in growth toward being THEMSELVES. We do not “fall in LOVE.” LOVE is CHOOSING to give ourselves (our concern, time, support, effort) to another for THEIR growth and THEIR well being.

We can LOVE without SEX. We can LOVE even people who hate and abuse us ‒ LOVE is our act and is not predicated on the response of the beloved..

SO, there can be wonderful mutual sexual exchange with minimal LOVE and without GUILT where there are honest persons blissfully meeting their basic human needs with respect, consent and responsibility. AND there can be LOVE without SEX (most LOVE is without SEX) where persons give of themselves on behalf of another. We LOVE our children, our dear friends, the stranger, the needy, and even the enemy but without SEX.

ADDICTION...? To SEX yes, Whenever we begin to harm ourselves or others in our irresponsible desires to anything we are addicted ‒ and we can be addicted to many things. Addicted to LOVE? ‒ I am not so sure. When ever we begin to hurt ourselves or others I would assume it is not longer LOVE but some other addiction that is being served.


KandyCoated4U 53F
755 posts
4/20/2006 6:44 am

you said all of this to say what?

! If I were a crayon, I'd most likely be jammed up some kids nose.

Become a member to create a blog