Insight Into Myself  

shniffles 35F
35 posts
5/30/2006 10:27 pm

Last Read:
6/1/2006 8:15 am

Insight Into Myself

Hello my people,

Since my divorce, I've been doing alot of thinking about myself. I have not fully healed from that situation. Right after my seperation, I mean like within a week, I met my boyfriend. So I jumped from one relationship to another. When my new man left me, it was just a fresh cut on a already bleeding wound.

So, I am swimming in my own insecurities right now. I know my marriage ending was partly my fault, it takes two people to fuck up a marriage. I wasn't ready for a new relationship. It happened by accident; it was a fling that turned into something serious fast.

Now, I am sort of back with the ex-boyfriend. We want to work things out, but he is in El Dorado and I am in Conway. We talk often, but that is not a real relationship. I want more and so does he, but we are both basically stuck where we are for right now.

I don't think I want to begin any relationship, not deep down. In my heart, I don't want to lose him, but I don't know if I can keep him either.

So here I am, me, not knowing what to do about the situation. It is so like me to jump without looking for the landing first. I love this man, but I don't really know if that love will be enough.

I know I am on a sex/swinger site. I enjoy talking, flirting, and meeting new men. I like to keep my options open and sex is something I crave. I wrote in the advice lines that if you love someone you won't cheat on them, if you cheat you really don't love that person. I love him, but we are not offically together. I am so confused.

I'll just shut up now. I need to sleep.

Love you later,


pmaster71 46M

6/1/2006 12:28 am

It can be tough, real tough to decide.
I feel your pain and sympathize.

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