I AM This Girl  

sfvppl818 51M/51F
486 posts
5/14/2006 1:30 am

Last Read:
5/16/2006 2:10 am

I AM This Girl

Enough with the "nice guy" and "nice girl" bullshit. We can kid ourselves all we want, but being willing to hold someone's hand or open a door for them just isn't going to cut it in today's world. We sorely need a more realistic list.

Guess who made one???

1. I am the kind of girl who will NOT repeatedly ask you "What are you thinking?" until you unsuccessfully attempt to provide the answer that I have pre-designated as correct.

2. I am the kind of girl who will NOT drag you shopping with me to buy shoes and then make you carry every bag from every store that I make a purchase at.

3. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER request that you hold my purse "for just a sec" and then disappear into a dressing room for 2 hours.

4. I am the kind of girl who will watch gory, disgusting or downright stupid movies with you and NEVER insist that you sit through some chick flick in return.

5. I am the kind of girl who will give you a blow job while you watch your favorite sports event on TV (keeping in mind to keep my head out of your line of vision). "The Three Stooges is okay too.

6. I am the kind of girl who swallows 95 percent of the time, NOT just that initial encounter as a tactic to win you over.

7. I am the kind of girl who will say "Yeeeeeeeeah!" when you suggest pulling a destructive prank, and then sit in the car with the motor running for your quick get away.

8. I am the kind of girl who thinks you look hot in a t-shirt and jeans and will NEVER ask "Is that what you're wearing?" in a distainful tone.

9. I am the kind of girl who will give you ones for the strip bar. If you take me with you, I am the kind of girl who will buy you a lap dance.

10. I am the kind of girl who you will NEVER have to convince to watch porn. I am the kind of girl who knows which adult production companies have the hottest actresses.

11. I am the kind of girl who knows the driving directions to just about everywhere and will NEVER drive 35 in a 50.

12. I am the kind of girl who understands that I only get to drive if you decide that you don't want to or are too drunk to.

13. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER ask "Do you know where you're going?"

14. I am the kind of girl who knows how to drive stick... and well.

15. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER expect roses, chocolate, balloons or stuffed animals and would much rather receive a vibrator or fuzzy handcuffs instead.

16. I am the kind of girl who will give you a handjob under the table at a fancy restaurant. I am also the kind of girl who will give you a handjob under the table at IHOP (or whatever cheesy place you prefer.)

17. I am the kind of girl who will let you sleep on your side of the bed and not insist to fall asleep cuddled up with you, thereby making your arm go dead from my head blocking its blood flow.

18. I am the kind of girl who will not stipulate who you can hang out with. In fact, I will probably get along better with your male friends than you do.

19. I am the kind of girl who thinks sex is the best way to end an argument.

20. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER insist that we spend more "quality time" together.

21. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER insist that you meet her mother. I will NEVER ask to meet yours.

22. I am the kind of girl who thinks scars are sexy and will trace them with my tongue but will never insist that you describe in detail how you got them.

23. I am the kind of girl who will NEVER insist that you buy her a $4 Coke at the movie theater, but will have a little "something" stowed away in her purse to partake in during our viewing pleasure.

24. I am the kind of girl who gives you directions on how to please her and will NOT lie and say I came when I didn't.

25. I am the kind of girl who is a little insane, but in the very best way.

If you are this kind of girl, repost with the title:

"I am this girl"

If you are looking for this kind of girl, repost with the title:

"I don't think you're for real, so I will constantly second-guess everything you do and say, attempting to find cracks in the facade until you go fully insane on me. I will not appreciate you until you are fed up with me and have blocked me from your messengers and filed a restraining order. I will be forever haunted by you, thus fucking up every other relationship I consequently have."

That, or:

"I want to be your breeder-beyotch!"


rm_abutoo2 45M
1078 posts
5/14/2006 11:46 am

I want to be your breeder-beyotch!

I know you're not for real, but get your ass to oklahoma and show me that swallow thing. lol... besides, you said you need a break >>!


sfvppl818 replies on 5/14/2006 12:09 pm:
Abu, the sad part is that if was in your shoes, I wouldn't believe it either. But the terrible state of affairs I must account for is that I am real and forgive me for being such an over-the-top action figure.

But let's be honest here for a sec, k? You will never see me Oklahoma!

rm_abutoo2 45M
1078 posts
5/14/2006 3:30 pm

shit, you never know... you may be in a plane that just happens to crash 2 miles from here... never say never and how you feel about oklahoma, is how I feel about california... but I've lived there 3 times, I can talk shit. I do like your blog though, really is sexy, and I'll keep screwing around with you because your posts really do turn me on, and there hasn't been much to turn me on lately. happym;


goodguysneedit2 57M

5/15/2006 6:35 am

OMG..I'M IN LOVE!!!!!!


bipolybabe 56F

5/15/2006 6:49 am

With the exception of never making him watch a chick flick, I am this girl.

BPB

Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!


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