Be sure 'n tell 'em, LARGE MARGE sent ya!  

sfvppl818 51M/51F
486 posts
5/18/2006 3:42 pm

Last Read:
5/21/2006 9:24 pm

Be sure 'n tell 'em, LARGE MARGE sent ya!

Sometimes horrors sneak up on you when you least expect it, and these little moments leave you traumatized forever. You don't have time to prepare for it, it just hits you and you're lucky to still be breathing when it's finally over. This happened to me when I was a but a wee adult, and I never saw it coming.

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or Narrative details follow.

During the 1985 cult classic movie, Pee-wee's Big Adventure - a personal favorite of mine - Pee-wee is left in the dark on a desert road, but soon gets picked up by a trucker called Large Marge. In one of the movie's most memorable and widely imitated scenes, the trucker frightens Pee-wee with a vivid description of a terrible car-wreck.

Large Marge, played by Alice Nunn, had brown, gray, and white hair that stood straight up! It was as if Don King and the Bride of Frankenstein had a daughter and she graduated from trucking school then began picking up hitchhikers to scare the shit out of them. In a strange way, she kind of reminded me of my aunt ... only a heckuva lot creepier. She wears a very thick red flannel jacket and Large Marge NEVER blinked.

And as we all know: Not blinking = Bad news.

Then without warning, she starts to speak. And the tale she tells will be the one I have nightmares about TO THIS VERY DAY, whether I WILL admit it or not:

On this very night...
10 years ago...
along the same stretch of road...
in a dense fog...
just like this...
I saw the worst accident I ever seen...
There was this sound...
Like a garbage truck!
Dropped off the empire state building!
And when they finally pulled the driver's body...
From the Twisted... Burning... Wreck...
It looked like...
hooo hooo hooo hooo hooo haaaah!

Yes sir...
That was the worst accident I ever seen...

TERROR. SHEER TERROR. (I hope that making the above text red added to the terror)

Now remember, Pee-wee's Big Adventure is just a simple story about a rebel and his bike. But it gets worse! If you hadn't already pissed in your pants, you were at least hoarse from screaming in terror the moment you saw Large Marge transform into a hideous, big-eyed, tongue-lashing, freak fest! God how I hated that voice of hers ... that eerie monotone voice that slowly got louder and louder, with drawn-out pauses after every few words. Then, all of a sudden, she turns to look at Pee Wee and presents us with the scariest piece of claymation any of us have ever seen:

Those huge eyes with the tiny black spec in the center, they were just too freaky for us to handle. Sure they might have just been a pair of white balls from a pool table, but when turned into eyes on a claymation ghost, they were downright scary. And then there was the tongue. It whipped around like it had a mind of its own! And the hair? The hair was just pure insanity. PURE INSANITY!

All of this terror wrapped up into a mere 5 seconds of film. I had just experienced everything evil and scary in life all at once. But what now? Would she jump from the screen and eat us? Perhaps not ... probably something worse.

Well, Pee Wee had been in the truck long enough and was ready to be dropped off at the next truck stop. He got out of the truck and turned around to look at Large Marge. You could tell he was like a deer in headlights, frozen with fear.

"Be sure 'n tell 'em, LARGE MARGE sent ya! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!"

That's the infamous phrase she she cackled at Pee Wee. Then a blank, emotionless stare came over her face once again as she started up the truck and drove off into the darkness.

As horrific as that was, at least she was gone. "IT'S OVER! THE HORROR IS OVER!!!!! THE SCARY LADY IS GONE!!!" we thought to ourselves. But it wasn't over, not at all.

Pee Wee walked into the truck stop, stiff as a board from the horror he just experienced. Still, he managed to deliver the message from the scary truck driver:

"Large Marge Sent Me."

A creepy, wide-eyed trucker stands up in the background. He begins to recite the exact same words that Large Marge had told Pee Wee!

Pee Wee cringed, "But that means, the Large Marge I was riding with was..."

And everyone in the room says at once: "A GHOST."

Then we see a close-up of the memorial, a ghostly wind blows out the candles, and as the screen fades to black we hear Large Marge cackling off in the distance one last time.

Well, kiddies .. Large Marge is back and she's gotta freakin' [post 352470] so watch out you people in the Colorado Springs area!


You can even hear an eerie monotone voice that slowly grows louder and louder, with drawn-out pauses after every few words:

"Don't be shy let us know if you are interested - If you are into the real thing you can't miss if all you do is talk about getting together with others don't waste my time ...

Be sure 'n tell 'em, LARGE MARGE sent ya! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!!!"

TTigerAtty 63M

5/18/2006 6:06 pm

Thanks for the tip! "If you are into the real thing, you can't miss!" WhoooHooo! A sure thing!

puntachueca 106M

5/18/2006 7:48 pm

You know how in all the horror flicks we are all screaming "don't open the door!!!"

I had this internet date (not from this site) and when she opened the door and invited me in and I saw nothing but boxes piled up to the ceiling in what would have been her living room I flashed an audience screaming "don't go inside!!!!" and ran like hell.

Large Marge is everywhere.

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