Ten (or more) Things I Hate About You  

sfvcpl818 52M/52F
417 posts
4/6/2006 7:55 am

Last Read:
4/7/2006 7:57 pm

Ten (or more) Things I Hate About You

I wrote this a while ago (about a jackass i briefly dated), but still didn't feel satisfied. Maybe posting will help. Enjoy!

1. I cannot believe you refer to women as "high/low mileage" based on their sexual history. But being a bull-shitter, I am sure you would insist you were joking if anyone ever called you on it.

2. It's great that you went to Ivy League schools, but it's really lame to think you're better than everybody because of it. Nobody in the real world gives a shit.

3. Ditto for your fancy car, watch, and other material things. Good for you if you have a Rolex, but it's REALLY FUCKIN LAME to point it out to me just in case I didn't notice the brand on the dial. "And now, Mr. Rolex comes off." WTF?!

4. How you pretend to know SO much about wine. You once asked the server what adjectives she would use to describe the wine, then used those words freely yourself for the rest of the night as if you had any clue. "This merlot is pretty oaky." Shut the fuck up. It's ok if you don't know dick about wine, but it's REALLY FUCKIN LAME to bullshit your way through a wine-tasting event just to impress a bunch of idiots you will likely never meet again.

5. When you once spoke to our waitress in Spanish USING A LISP just to show off how continental you are because she said she was from Madrid. Wow, what a Renaissance Man. Be still my heart.

6. You are a cheap bastard. As I recall, we basically took turns paying for meals. But you would make jokes about "having to pay for everything around here," which was especially lame considering that YOU picked out the fancy restaurants and the (oaky) merlots! Jackass.

7. You are selfish and lazy in bed, just like in real life. Not trying to get a woman off but INSISTING that you repeatedly get off is not most women's idea of great sex; however, it IS most women's idea of a guy who "masturbates with women."

8. You basically judge people on outward things like their money, schooling, job title, etc. because you are so proud of yourself in these areas. You do not judge others by who they are on the inside because YOU are shitty on the inside. Much better to judge based on Rolexes and Ivy League schools (since you have both) rather than on character, integrity, honesty, respect, etc.

9. Your rock-star complex. You are NOT a "musician." And stop pretending that you haven't "made it" in the industry because you haven't wholly devoted yourself to "the music thing." You haven't made it in the music biz because you're a talentless prick. Playing bass and guitar in your crappy studio does NOT a musician make, capiche? The only thing you have in common w/ rock stars is their gigantic egos, neurotic tendencies, drama queen behavior, and stunningly little regard for those around them.

10. How you refer to yourself as "self-employed" when really you're UNemployed. Calling yourself the "President" of your company, which btw is a crappy one-man taco stand shop that does "consulting." You think hard work is beneath you because you think you're some kind of a genius. You're so special that the world owes you a living. Ironically, you HAVE made a living off of bull-shitting, because you haven't done an honest day's work since the 12th of Never and yet you still manage to make rent!

11. This one's a bonus - your monologues. Jesus F Christ, I must have been lonelier than those bastards on Gilligan's Island to listen to you drone on and on about your melodrama, your insecurities, and your hyper-sensitive experiences in the world. Save that shit for your therapist, dude. (There's a reason they make upwards of $300/hour - they have to listen to human garbage. I don't!) I am surprised my ear didn't literally fall off from your incessant yammering. Here's a clue: a conversation is between two people, a monologue is one person droning on while the other wishes they were dead.

Overall you are possibly the most self-absorbed, egotistical, self-delusional person I ever met. Dumping your ass was the best decision I ever made (and dating you might have been the worst).

Watch out ladies, he's on the loose in LA!

softnwet03 45F
5 posts
4/6/2006 8:14 am

i like that! you rode out on his ass. i hope u sent this to him. people who are so judgmental of everyone else is insecure with themselves. that's why i don't date pretty boys, they don't like to work in bed and all they care about is how good they look. i don't want anyone who stays in the mirror longer than me.

Transblucency 45M

4/6/2006 8:40 am

Wow, a spectacularly impressive rant!

I have to wonder whether this guy might actually be highly insecure; a lot of this sounds like overcompensation to me.

phangasm2003 107M

4/7/2006 10:16 am

Holy crap. There ought to be a follow up post on early warning signs so others can recognize this type early on so they don't commit to a second date.

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