I don't know about blindness, but masturbation can be dangerous  

sfvcpl818 52M/52F
417 posts
4/13/2006 12:06 am

Last Read:
4/13/2006 1:35 am

I don't know about blindness, but masturbation can be dangerous


so i'm about to turn 41...so this year i'm trying something different...the unadulterated truth...a list of my 10 worst qualities...here it is...in all its vile detail...this is not a plea of desperation...just simply one of boredom...

1. so...i like sleeping...a lot...i like couch time...i like just laying around...i'm not thoroughly opposed to getting off my ass...i go for walks sometimes...but i don't want some spunky work out nut running circles around me...i want someone who likes to chill in bed...and doesn't have some kind of sleepers remorse for missing a day of blindingly bright sunlight and 100+ degree temperatures in exchange for a comfy day in the cool darkness....

2. i'm messy...not dirty....messy...clothes miss the hamper...underwear ends up in the living room...throw pillows find their way to the kitchen...papers abound...piles of stuff to be sorted through...which usually end up being thrown out in a fit of frustration without a second glance...but on the flip side, i'm messy but not a pack rat...i have no problem just tossing stuff, or donating it to a good cause...and i go through spells of neat freakishness...but no OCD people please...it just won't work in the end...

3. i'm incredibly forgetful...i take at least 15 minutes to exit my apartment...and once i'm out, i spend another 10 minutes running back in to fetch vital things i've forgotten...like cell phone...keys...shoes...i also forget to pay bills...not so much where i'm getting my electric or phone shut off...but i pay a lot of late fees...i also suck at music...i love it...but am incapable of remembering what name goes with which band...even if i own the cd...or have seen them live...luckily my friends work with me...and burn me Cd's and attempt to train me using flashcards...oh and the same holds true with people's names... they just never stick...patience is required

4. i'm notoriously late...see forgetful for the explanation...again patience is required

5. i'm an over eater...i can eat as much as a 300lb man...i don't gain weight...i mean i don't have the perfect body...but no one's ever told me i'm fat or ugly anyway...in fact i'm kinda hot if you were to pit me against the average 26 year old...so i don't have a complex about it...and people are generally shocked at my secret ability...i just enjoy food...from farmers market veggies to snickers bars...and i won't ever order a salad just to make myself look girlie...so you've got to be blessed with a high metabolism since i will probably dump you if you get fat...or if you become a workout nut..or refuse to eat with me...high metabolism is really the only answer...

6. i hate walmart...so must you...and you must know why we both hate it...

7. i can appear high maintenance...but not for long...when i first start dating someone they get the works...makeup...fixed hair...cute clothes...that lasts for maybe a month...then...i get tired..it's exhausting to spend that much time on one's appearance...not to mention the organization required to pull off such a look...i'm normally lucky to get out of the house showered, and fully clothed...forget matching and cuteness...and makeup...usually in a month my sparkling personality shines through so looks become secondary...so in essence...you must be slob friendly..

8. i smoke...i continually try to convince myself and others that i'm a non-smoker...and i'm close to achieving that status, but i'm guilty of lighting up multiple times a week covertly and rarely around alcohol since that's where the chain smoking begins...you can't smoke...i don't want to do it anymore, and being around someone who does will be unbearable...

9. i spend hours in front of a computer...it's part of my job...that's the only time i'm on line...because i have no choice...but 40 hours a week is a long time...especially when all my friends have either no job...or cool jobs...or jobs that require actual work of them...so i sit here bored staring at the screen...wishing i could find a guy cool enough to be awarded boyfriend status...who's stuck on line too....

10. so...i'm slightly superficial...i need a picture in order to talk to you...it's a must...and not some grainy i took this from my camera phone...fuzzy...i actually weigh 600lbs and have pock marks on my face...but you'll never see them kinda pic...an actual picture...without it...no dice...

11. i kill plants regularly...but not on purpose...and i mourn their loss for weeks...

qship52 64M

4/13/2006 12:35 am

Hmm - another bad quality? You can't count! Or you threw in a bonus.

#1 isn't a bad quality - it's having a true appreciation for one of life's greatest simplest pleasures. Ah, they joys of sleeping in one a cold day under warm covers...


GoddessOfTheDawn 106F
11240 posts
4/13/2006 12:38 am


~smilez~

I'll congratulate you on the b'day later.... lol


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