Radio Edit  

sexywhiteboy07 47M
106 posts
1/14/2006 8:13 pm

Last Read:
5/1/2008 6:50 pm

Radio Edit


Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Is it better to have lived some of the best times of your life, (best sex, best partying, best drugs, love, friendship, etc.) only to later be followed by worst (addiction, depression, broken family and lost love). I almost started this blog several months ago. Then I would have named it "How ...... Saved My Marriage". Not Now, Not after knowing what I know now.
. I told my wife that if we make it through this, we will have a great story to tell, if not it just might be the end of everything. This is our story...
I have mild OCD. Not the life altering kind, but more of the retentive kind. I have several different collections, I am a list maker and have always kept records. I have kept a journal since high school, but I had to throw them away because I was always afraid my Dad would read the crazy shit and I would get busted. I still have my diaries from college. When I got a job where I had to keep a record, I became more meticulous. When my son was born, I got a log book and began to keep record of everything, diet, exercise, sex life, along with appointments and birthdays, etc. This was incredibly useful to me in every day life, and it became the foundation of what would be my blog.
Thing were winding up by Fall 2004, and by December it was so crazy that I began to keep a record of what was happening. By March, things were so out of control, so complicated. I was in the middle of a major crisis, near a breakdown, facing life altering events on a daily basis and I couldn't even tell my family or close friends. I needed therapy, but we couldn't afford it. So I turned to the internet and support groups and support chat rooms. This became my therapy, I could express myself anonymously without ...... I found myself explaining stuff over and over, so I started my blog and people could read without me typing the whole thing over and over. I had been living a lie in the real world and I could be completely honest without consequences online.
So I guess I am saying that this actually saved my life (or at least my sanity) in some ways. Which brings me to the present..... not a day goes by that I don't think about what happened a year ago on that very day. I am constantly reminded mentally and financially, and this is how I deal with it. I plan on doubling up on the entries until i get to current date, and then post them as I go.
I hate long entries, and long descriptions, so I try to keep things concise. Sorry about the boring entry, I promise to have more action.
I totally love to hear feedback. It is like therapy to me, so please leave comments.

SxyMelody 41F

1/14/2006 8:42 pm

Talking with people, even complete strangers can be the best therapy of them all. Whether or not it is in a doctors office, a support group or online, we all look for answers in whatever medium we can find them. I admit that i myself have used the internet as such a release myself, but i have met some wonderful people in the process. I hope everything goes well with you. Kudos.


sexywhiteboy07 47M

1/15/2006 9:40 am

Thank You very much. It is peeps like you that supported me, that got me thru my worst times. Kudos to You!


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