2 Different posts ......  

sexywhiteboy07 47M
106 posts
4/13/2006 8:56 pm
2 Different posts ......

2 Diff posts...

Beginning of October

Sex always seemed to be the glue in our relationship and this was no different. We had some great sex, at least once a day, for the next several days to come. We did the webcam thing a couple more times, and one time (Oct 4), she said she liked it even better than Saturday night. She really got into it, knowing from the beginning that we were being watched. We were getting along pretty good, plus she was uknowhat free since mid-August, which made all the difference. Things were going pretty good until.........

October 7

Today sucks. I am having trouble overcoming my negative thoughts. I had been getting notices from my domain/site saying that I need to renew all of my websites. It has been so long that I forgot my name, password.... everything, I can't even think of all of the sites that I own (all of my info was in a book that got stolen when my shop got ripped off). So now I gotta sift through everything and find all of my old info.
In the process of doing so, I come across old bills, credit card and bank statements. When I actually see what is on the bill, my heart does a loop. There are hundred of dollars in withdrawals on the first bill dating to last October. I realize that Samantha's addiction probably actually started long before she brought home uknowhat in December. It really sucked because we were getting along so good. I felt betrayed in the fact that she claimed that there was nothing else to hide, and even lied about my specific questions. I was really depressed and probably withdrawn, I didn't even tell her. I spent the night out in the G-Bar working on the computer by myself.
The next couple of days I try to hide my negative feelings. We go out to eat, to the children's Museum, etc.... and I try to just act normal. It isn't until later that we even discuss it. She has a couple job offers, which we argue over, and my negative thoughts manifests themselves at that time.
She ends up taking a job at a fabric store, making $7 hr. She says that she is happy and the job is cool... blah, blah.... That would be fine, but it is slow season for our shop and we just lost $40,000 a year plus bonuses and benefits. She doesn't want to hear it. She really doesn't want to answer questions that she is still lying about to this day. But that is exactly what spills out. She still is evasive about my questions and I still don't know the truth. But it looks like she started buying uknowhat right after her "first time" on September 20, 2004. Now I have a different perspective of what went on. I knew that she was into it after she brought me in, but I didn't even have a clue to look before December (or so). This hurt/confused me. Not only had she just hid the drugs, but she had hidden the nature of our relationship. I was making decisions based on A, B, and C... and her heart was doing X, Y, and Z.
Oh yeh, we DIDN'T have sex for the next few days. When we finally did, we put the baby down for a nap and Jett went to the park. We went to the bedroom for some much needed make up sex. As soon as we were getting into it ... the front door flew open and in comes Jett!!! He had came home from park, barged in, ruining our mood, and chance to get back into it.
The next day we all went to Beasley's Orchard to the Apple Fest and had some nice family time.

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