ohhh god way to funny!  

sexymamma662003 33F
3954 posts
8/25/2006 8:57 am

Last Read:
8/28/2006 10:33 pm

ohhh god way to funny!


the following names were changed to protect the innocent and the guilty magahee oops i mean oh never mind just read it.

Girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is this?
Girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
Girl: nope
Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
Girl: well sorrrrrry
Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
Boy: why?
Girl: never mind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
Girl: yes?
Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Girl: paranoid?
Boy: yes
Girl: f what?
Girl: me?
Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
Girl: LOL
Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is serious!
Girl: What are you hiding from?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: gimme a fucking break
Boy: I'm serious.
Girl: I don't get it
Boy: The cops are after me.
Girl: For what?
Boy: I'm wanted in three states
Girl: For???
Boy: It's kind of embarrassing.
Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You are fucking sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
Girl: why?
Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
Girl: One of what?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture.
Girl: hold on
Boy: Hurry up.
Boy: Are you there?
Boy: fuck you, cop!
Girl: Hey sorry
Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Boy: Weren't you!?
Girl: thats not it
Boy: Then what?
Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Boy: Most cops aren't
Girl: I'M NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICK HEAD!
Boy: Then send me the picture.
Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through here.
Girl: alright *PIC*
Girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
Girl: That was me back in may
Girl: I've lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
Girl: what?!?
Girl: that hurt my feelings.
Boy: Did it?
Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it.
Girl: kks
Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
Girl: this isn't you.
Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
Girl: You don't look like that.
Boy: How the hell do you know?
Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
Girl: Go fuck yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
Girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
Girl: FUCK YOU!!!
Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.
Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
Girl: No you aren't
Boy: You're right. I'm not.
Boy: HAARRRRR!
Girl: I'm done with you
Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
Girl: I'm putting you on ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
Boy: Wanna start over?
Girl: No
Boy: I'll eat your pussy
Girl: You'll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tongue brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tongue your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tongue up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOU'RE A FUCKING PSYCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

~sexy~


elmexicano_2k 47M

8/26/2006 6:42 am

THAT...was truly bizarre. Please say that wasn't real.

Butch: I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit.


rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
8/26/2006 7:32 am

That sounds like Mags, such a romantic


florallei 100F

8/26/2006 9:07 am

LOL...that was just sick and yet so f.....g funny!!! Did that really happen? LOL
hugs,
flo


sexymamma662003 33F

8/26/2006 9:18 am

    Quoting elmexicano_2k:
    THAT...was truly bizarre. Please say that wasn't real.
oh god i hope not, but hey ya never know

~sexy~


sexymamma662003 33F

8/26/2006 9:19 am

he is though isnt he. but shhhh he dont know i posted his conversation LOL

~sexy~


steamyandsexybi 45F
2784 posts
8/26/2006 11:47 am

Awwww! He oughtsta be ASShamed of himself! LOL

Admit it....it was funny! lol


sexymamma662003 33F

8/26/2006 12:36 pm

    Quoting magahee77:
    You'll be hearing from my lawyer shortly
free speach fucker thats what your lawyer told me when he was giving ME advice LOL

~sexy~


sexymamma662003 33F

8/26/2006 12:36 pm

    Quoting florallei:
    LOL...that was just sick and yet so f.....g funny!!! Did that really happen? LOL
    hugs,
    flo
i really hope not, i dont know for sure but i really could see magahee having that conversation

~sexy~


sexymamma662003 33F

8/26/2006 12:37 pm

    Quoting steamyandsexybi:
    Awwww! He oughtsta be ASShamed of himself! LOL

    Admit it....it was funny! lol
yes he should LOL

~sexy~


dimplesfouryou 47F
24690 posts
8/26/2006 8:01 pm

Holy crap! How did you get inside his head? I am sure he has had this same conversation with himself...awesome job!

Dimps


elysianpleasure 49M

8/26/2006 8:29 pm

too funny...


sexymamma662003 33F

8/27/2006 12:04 am

    Quoting dimplesfouryou:
    Holy crap! How did you get inside his head? I am sure he has had this same conversation with himself...awesome job!
i do try thanks LOL i know him all to well

~sexy~


sexymamma662003 33F

8/27/2006 12:05 am

i know LOL

~sexy~


rm_Smile_My_Way 60M
1519 posts
8/28/2006 5:05 pm

I am in tears laughing so hard. Did he get the girl.


sexymamma662003 33F

8/28/2006 5:35 pm

    Quoting rm_Smile_My_Way:
    I am in tears laughing so hard. Did he get the girl.
the nice guys always get the girl LOL

~sexy~


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