HAHAHA funny  

sexymamma662003 33F
3954 posts
4/22/2006 2:04 pm
HAHAHA funny

Late one evening a man and his wife were going to bed. The man walks over to the window to close the curtains and notices something strange.
There were three men in his shed loading his things into the back of their truck.
The man proceeds to go over to the phone and calls the police.
"There are three men stealing things out of my shed, can you send someone over?" He asks
"I'm sorry Sir." says the voice on the other end. "I'm afraid no one is available right now, but we'll send someone as soon as an officer becomes available."
The man thanks the operater and hangs up.
He waits for thirty seconds and calls back.
"Hello, I just called about the men stealing things from my shed."
"Yes, I remember" responds the operator.
"Well, I just shot them all so, nevermind." and he hangs up.
Not much more than a minute later three patrol cars and an ambulance race up to the house, catching the thieves red handed.
One officer walks over to the man and says "I thought you said you shot them." and the man responds "I thought you said no one was available."
Funny and true!

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spooky.
David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me"
12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's


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