defining moments  

sexydisaster30 42F
5527 posts
7/4/2006 10:18 am

Last Read:
11/26/2006 8:28 pm

defining moments

There are defining moments in every relationship. Weather is be a relationship with a friend, a boy/girlfriend, a FWB, a spouse, or a business relationship, there is always that moment where you realize just exactly what the relationship is. You know at that exact defining moment without question where you stand with the other person.

You may or may not like the outcome of that moment and the outcome of that moment rarely changes, but you have to accept it for what it is. You have to decide if the relationship is worth staying in or if it is just time to get the hell out.

These moments come at all different times when knowing someone. Most relationships will have several throughout the course of them. Some you will love and some that will break your heart.



rm_gerson42 53M
2419 posts
7/4/2006 10:24 am

Totally agree, problem with that realization in my opinion is that often those signals are ignored and not acted on accordingly. That is where the problems start.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 10:57 am:
yep, you are right.

meerkittykat 43F

7/4/2006 10:29 am

Life is made up of defining moments, and they go a long way into defining who we are and who we wish to be.

I trust you. Strong Hugs and love.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 10:58 am:
and how others truely feel about us.

rm_Twister2bed 48M
617 posts
7/4/2006 10:30 am

The real trick is to recognize those moments sometimes even when there obvious we just don't want to see them.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 10:58 am:
a trick that i am quickly learning.

JustaSeeker 107F

7/4/2006 11:01 am

You know that this is something that I deeply believe, and I act on my instincts even when it seems like the hardass, unreasonable thing to do. The times when I've ignored the moment of epiphany or let myself be swayed back into an unworkable relationship I've ended up regretting it. It goes the other way too, and I cherish the moment of finding out that someone cares about me a lot more than I thought. That is the best thing in the world.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 3:25 pm:
that is the best thing huh?

NSAAddict 43F

7/4/2006 11:34 am

Totally agree D, just had a defining moment and like Ger said if you ignore the signals and don't act on it that's where the problems start. Thanks for providing the random answer from the universe I was looking for

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 11:57 am:
I told you that I was psychic.....I somehow knew that you may need to read this today

caressmewell 54F

7/4/2006 12:41 pm

Sigh. Hugs to you.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 3:25 pm:
thanks hun.

endowed_4_fun 43M
113 posts
7/4/2006 1:17 pm

From your tone, it sounds like you had a negative 'moment.' Hope that's not the case, but if it is, I feel for you. We've all been there at some point... Best of luck.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 3:23 pm:
tone? what tone?

rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
7/4/2006 2:00 pm

(Supresses temptation to make an unneeded smartass remark.)

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 3:23 pm:
I am shocked!

mycin62 55F

7/4/2006 2:10 pm

So true, doesn't have to be in a relationship either, just a life event.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 3:24 pm:

southrnpeach333 51F

7/4/2006 2:26 pm

too often they are only clear in hindsight.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 3:24 pm:
way to often.

frangipanigal 46F
10406 posts
7/4/2006 3:22 pm

And the trick is seeing them for what they are, without emotion blocking the view (A skill I am yet to learn...)

Frangi x

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 3:27 pm:
It is that whole peas in a pod thing.....

a123rat 50M
1113 posts
7/4/2006 4:03 pm

Men & Women see and act on these moments differently. Often for men it's a reaction, too late. D'oh

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 9:50 pm:
well, thank you for enlightening me of that fact about men....I had no idea.

EroticaXTC 51F

7/4/2006 4:25 pm

I don't know that it's so much "seeing it" as "FEELING it" with soon as I feel it, I can't do anything other than go with it...whether it's good or bad...I've just never been able to comfortably go against what I strongly feel...
Very good post

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 9:51 pm:
thanks XTC.

reverend21 50M
1913 posts
7/4/2006 4:27 pm

and all of them arrive when you lest expect it

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 9:51 pm:
most of the time.

rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
7/4/2006 5:48 pm

shocked that I'd bypass an opportunity for an opportunity for a smartass remark? Shit, the con job I've been running to convince you of what a nice guy I am is a failure.....

No. I agree with the guy who thought you sounded down. I didn't think it would be a good time to grind it in. I like you, dammit...

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 9:52 pm:
I like you too, but I am not down.......and the con job? not working, not even a little bit

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
7/4/2006 6:03 pm

Im with Ero on this, including the comment about a great post. Instinct is much underated and ignored.

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 9:52 pm:
I always go with my instinct.....

absolutelynormal 57F
6563 posts
7/4/2006 6:25 pm

Yeah, a defining moment can be being called "buddy"

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 9:53 pm:
it sure can be called that.

funintheday2006 57M
9659 posts
7/4/2006 10:00 pm

My apologies for a second comment, fun1968 inspired this:

For a moment in time, let nothing else matter.
For a moment in time, let “us" just be.
Let time freeze, the earth stand still.
Let our souls cuddle spoon like.
Let our spirits soar wing to wing.
Let out hearts beat wild in unison.
Let the surge of blood in your veins
Echo the deluge cascading in mine
As your lips tattoo a fiery message
Across the realm of my being.

Hope you like Dis ;*

sexydisaster30 replies on 7/4/2006 10:36 pm:
Thank you. I do like it very much. Please feel free to comment more than once on my blog anytime.

JustaSeeker 107F

7/4/2006 11:08 pm

But the ones when you look at each other and KNOW the moment is special, something you'll always remember, something that defines the "US" of a relationship, those moments are gold!

See, I meant what fun1968xxx said, and what was weird about saying that's the best thing?? For me, it is! Even if it's just a moment on the job, where I suddenly realize that the people I work with think I rock. And we are a family.

dreamswyou 51M

7/4/2006 11:32 pm

So very true. And your comment about accepting is very true to. Accepting can be a very hard thing to do.

Defining moments can be a real downer because that sometimes means that the relationship/friendship must end or paths must go in different directions. That can really hurt deep down inside.

It all seems to hit me on the head like a brick to!!!!

Life is always like that for me it seems. I never know what to expect and all of a sudden a big brick comes falling out of the sky right on top of my head!!!! Ouch!!!!

OcelotScratch 49M
286 posts
7/5/2006 12:32 am

In my case, relationships have never had this kind of moment. Granted, I have a sample size of two, so the confidence interval is pretty wide. Rather, it's a slow accumulation of knowledge that finally bubbles out. It may seem like a moment, but the slightest thought about lets me notice that is was slowly building, and I knew it.

My wife and I got engaged while driving up to her parents for Thanksgiving in 1995. We were just talking, and one of us (I can't remember which one of us) just asked, "Do you think we should get married?" The other said, "Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. It had building up for a long while. Of course, we had been dating for five years at that point.

rm_smosmof2 68M
3240 posts
7/5/2006 12:35 am

"I like you too, but I am not down.......and the con job? not working, not even a little bit"

About not being down--good. Glad to have misinterpreted that.

About the con job--bad. Oh well, pick up bags and start over somewhere else.... :=)

TheRealThing655 49F
9558 posts
7/5/2006 9:57 am

Excellent post and thoughts here. I agree, whether for good or bad, relationships do go through that. I could never have said it better than you put it!

peaches19555 62M

7/5/2006 12:28 pm

Perspective can be so important. You look at a relationship from the future side of 31 years and I look back on mine and see you as a toddler not long walking. Never think that defining moments stop occurring.

rm_truedom2 57M
663 posts
7/5/2006 7:13 pm

"You have to decide if the relationship is worth staying in or if it is just time to get the hell out."

Seems tome that every time I have to ponder the "time to get the hell out" part, it usually is......but my hope is that one day I find enough rational reason to "stay the hell in"

Follow your heart SD....just keep your brain close behind.

HBowt2 60F

7/7/2006 2:55 pm

its about paying attention to those moments and seeing exactly what they are defining...

rm_sweetone244 57F
377 posts
7/9/2006 11:11 pm

I just had a defining moment in my relationship. It could turn out great, or things may turn out devastating - but I'm willing to risk trying. It's not how I envisioned things - but then again, my life hasn't exactly been as I had envisioned up to now anyway... so what the hell - I'm here for the ride.

(yes - I came out of my lurking for a day - about time, eh)

PurplePeach72 45F  
9199 posts
7/12/2006 5:45 pm

I am tired of defining moments. I have had a lifetime of them. I have decided to just make them pages in my book. I turn to the next one and just keep going. Some pages I like to turn back to and look at over and over. Others I just hope the book never falls open to again. Some people live a lifetime and never know they have had one. Others see everything as one. Life is what you make of it. Turn the page and keep breathing.



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