Fundamental...  

sexyblokeinlincs 55M
337 posts
2/28/2006 11:55 pm

Last Read:
3/16/2006 4:33 am

Fundamental...

In this era of a 'back to basics' approach in some religions this caught my eye, very funny with a real point to make:

Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality, and dispenses advice to people
who call in to her radio show. On her radio show recently, she said that, as
an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to
Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following response is an open letter to Dr.Laura, penned by a US
resident, which was posted on the Internet.

******************************************
Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge
with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual
lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly
states it to be an abomination... End of debate. I do need some advice from
you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow
them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,
provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus
21. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual un-cleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take
offence.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is: my neighbours. They
claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him
myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a
defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my
vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around
their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27.
How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different
crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse
and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
getting the whole town together to stone them?
Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do
with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable
expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again
for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

Homer Simpson-Caldwell


cherryblue1712 53F

3/15/2006 11:21 pm

What an excellent post, reading it started my day off with a smile! thay you, sexymaninlincs.


cherryblue1712 53F

3/15/2006 11:22 pm

What an excellent post, reading it started my day off with a smile! Thank you, sexymaninlincs.


sexyblokeinlincs 55M
470 posts
3/16/2006 4:33 am

Always pleased to put a smile on your face!

Thanks

Al


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