How low can you go....  

sexpirate19125 53F
162 posts
1/21/2006 2:04 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How low can you go....

He said he would call before the week was over. While I hardly think of anyone on this system as 'promising' anymore... I do like to think that my judgement allows me to weed out most of the idiots - and considering I respond to less than 1% of the people who contact me, I have nothing else I can believe in with any confidence or optimism.

We had an interesting evening. I had agreed to the date because I was menstruating and it would keep me from fucking him on the first meeting. I opted to stay in so he made dinner at his house for me. We had wine, a light meal and snogged a bit on the couch. He remarked how ideal my physical body was by his standards and how happy he was that he had met someone who seemed "normal" and wasn't misrepresenting herself online and he made it a point of saying his word had integrity so he wouldn't say he would call, if he weren't going to and he wouldn't lead people on. On or off, you could count on knowing where you stood. So far, so good. This is someone I could see becoming my lover.

As it turned out, we ended up going upstairs and playing on the bed a bit. More snogging and a hand job later, we called it a night and agreed that a second date was in order to finish what we started.

That was last week. It is now Saturday. He never called so I called him but not in a "Gee, I really want to see him" state of mind but more like a "I can't wait to see how he talks his way out of this mess" sort of way. The lack of contact is inexcusable because the reality is that when you want to spend time with someone, you MAKE time to call them.

A few awkward minutes later, it became obvious that he had no idea who he was talking to when he asked me if I was ready for directions to his house now.... considering I knew exactly how to get to his house having driven there before, it was obviously a case of mistaken identity... and when I responded with a confused "...directions to WHERE...?", he realized the mistake in identity too - and then promptly disconnected the phone line in mid-sentence without a good-bye much less an explanation.

Yah. That kind of cowardly loser.

But here I am and all I can ask myself is how low can I possibly go to continue entertaining the likes of these types of personality when it is obvious that these are the best of the majority that comes through my mailbox?

I was so ashamed of myself and my poor judgement after this incident that I really questioned my own self esteem and value as a person. While their social skills may be sadly lacking... how poor are mine that I am treated with this level of disrespect BY THEM?

In the meantime, I am watching a biography segment on Janice Dickinson (former supermodel). Stupid, shallow, completely self-centered and a walking sperm receptacle... and yet, by virtue of looks and social placement, she at least gets the trappings and overtures of respect from the men she sleeps with - who (like the rest of the world) couldn't possibly see her as much more useful than an empty headed cum rag.

This is where I am at in my life and today it is depressing as hell. How low can I possibly go in my endeavor to find companionship? I am not sure I really want to know.

TorontoGuy55 37M

1/22/2006 10:43 am

Dearest Sexpirate:

Your blog was very revealing and sad. As you have recognized - YOU DESERVE BETTER - in fact we all do. Don't second guess this, and don't let these dickweeds alter your self-image. You have a leg up on 90% of the women in here - you are intelligent and interesting! You should ONLY look for men/women who seek the same. At the very least, you deserve RESPECT (i.e. quick phone call to say thanks for the handjob - I found you sexy and provocative and would love to see you again - or not). It is a shame you have fallen into such a rut on AdultFriendFinder.

I am not sure how you filter all the e-mails that fall into your box, but I suggest you re-think your personal pass-fail strategy and perhaps revise it to include some of the guys in the "grey region". You should try and respond to MUCH MORE of the e-mails you get (as opposed to a mere 1 - your judgement is clearly not good enough to select the cream of the crop (sorry ... but you have demonstrated as much). Yes - this will take you time, but your response can be brief, allow you to refine your screening process, and SHOULD have its rewards.

Why not give the gents a short questionaire? Some would find this silly and not respond (or worse - respond crudely), but others will find you all the more sexy and intriguing. You would probably learn that some who seemed GREAT turned out to be duds, and others who were only so-so shine.

OK - now I will stretch a bit - but tell me if there is any truth in this. Could it be that your *IDEAL PROFILE* (i.e. top 1 is unrealistic or doesn't REALLY capture what you are looking for? There's always the danger that if you filter out everything but Prince Long Schlong Charming (top 1, they all turn out to be fictional characters.

As a side note - your blog really re-enforced the contrast between the male and female experience on this site - I think it is fascinating! Think of the attractive female who gets flooded with responses (SexPirate - what sexy legs!) and the average guy who gets zero female responses and only hears from gay guys wanting a blowjob (Yours Truly - yes its true...). Both parties have their own unique challenges - on one hand the female must apply a strict filtering protocol in order to weed out the turnips, while the guys have to KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET in one sentence and a couple photos in order to have any hope. The challenge with the latter is that you must stay genuine when writing your profile (to be fair), but not come off as either WEAK or AROGANT.

You gave me some good advice earlier on my blog and wanted to say THANKS - you were right on the money. If you have time, check out my profile again - I would love another critique.

Well SexPirate, I hope your adventures on the HIGH SEAS keep you fulfilled - the storm clouds will eventually clear.



sexpirate19125 53F

1/22/2006 3:11 pm

Don't mind the huffing and bluffing on my profile. My criterion has very little to do with dick size or GQ looks but physical attraction does factor into these things and if I am not physically attracted - where can we possibly expect to go from there? After that comes personality and this is where the guys seem to shoot themselves in the foot most badly.

Thank you so much for the thoughtful and compassionate response. I doubt that I will entertain more "grey" area responses but I will limit them to folks who keep a blog or read them. Half a brain is always a good start. Thoughts that run deeper than the groin is also a very beginning.

rm_ohsolustful 59M
859 posts
1/23/2006 6:30 am

Sounds like a minor setback to me. he wasn't up to par for you, what a CHUMP, keep looking, you'll find what you seek, Good luck to ya and best wishes..........Whew, absolutely incredible legs...INCREDIBLE...................

RockPebble 70M
2493 posts
1/23/2006 9:13 am

It says a lot about you that you're upset with yourself for poor judgement more than you're upset with him for being an asshole. You make me wish I was looking for more than a FWB, I really like your attitude. Keep your chin up, there is a prince out there for you, you just have to sort through a lot of damn frogs.

rm_nolimits4u2b 64M
2 posts
1/23/2006 1:24 pm

Well Honey. I sympathise with you.. But this is a SEX site. You must be out of your mind if you think you are going to meet ANYONE on here to have a long lasting realtionship with...

The same shit you are talking about is true with the women too.

Maybe you should try e harmony...

southrnpeach333 51F

1/23/2006 8:24 pm

Don't be so hard on yourself. The fault is with him not you. Even if it is only physical there is a certain level of respect that is required. What goes around comes around. It will come back to him.

longergirthy4u 53M
71 posts
1/24/2006 6:13 am

I have to defer to the incredible Peach on this one sexylegspiratewomanbeingtreatedbadly. I have found on this site as well as others that the best sounding i.e reading profiles are generally the most b.s. compiled in one single place outside of the stockyards! If someone comes off as the greatest catch in the world, why are they on here?
If a man is perfect(your 1 % ), would he be on this site or any other for that matter? No, he would be married to Mrs. perfect and they would both be happy and content. If they were exactly as they wrote they were, they would be taken by women such as yourself already. They aren't and that is why they lie in their profiles and seek women such as yourself to take advantage of and to use. Not all of them are that way. Remember this point>>. Some men may be a perfect choice for you, but to them, you are not their ideal woman.<<< That, is not saying there is anything wrong with you,simply you aren't their type. I haven't even looked at your profile, so I am not in either category. I quit seeking awhile back.(Too many experiences like you had) Now, I just enjoy the blogs,blogging,and chatting with so many friends as well as a variety of peeps through this site. I believe that you are being too hard on your self. That guy is obviously a jerk interested in quantity over quality, hence the stoopid directions to his house escapade. If he had been sincere and open and honest he would have told you at some time during/after dinner that he wasnt interested in you except possibly as a friend or as a FWB. By his not calling as well as his hanging up on you, you should have realized that the problem lies within him and not yourself! You went into the date as well as the the rest with openness, while he filled you with lies and deceptions(what you wanted to hear) in order to get laid. He is a jerk and a loser, while you are a human being who simply made an error in judgement, nothing more. You should be proud that your mailbox is filled to overflowing with possibles. If it was empty would that make you feel better? No. Be thankful that you are a desirable woman,believe in yourself not some stranger who can let you down and be a total assjerk in the process. There is a wonderful ,attractive , incredible lover out there for you somewhere., Just be patient, read profiles with a big container of salt nearby, and enjoy the people you meet on this site,as not all of them are half bad! Some day Mr. 1% (perfect) really will ride up,sweep you off of your feet,give you multiple mind shattering orgasms, hold you, talk to you,listen to you,hold you some more,will become your best friend,etc.. and he will call you everytime he says he will. Take care and be easier on yourself for being a fallible human being. <<That is a part of what makes you special! Smile and enjoy the ride babe. BC

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