Lamenting part 2  

sexloverocknroll 58M
282 posts
3/23/2006 6:25 am

Last Read:
3/24/2006 10:53 am

Lamenting part 2

Got a notification e-mail today from AdultFriendFinder that my account expires on 3-30. To be honest, I have felt it a waist of time and money thus far. Not until bloging did I find anything worthy of the $90 I spent initially. I know I was a little naive about this at first. I had just come back from Jamaica attending my brother’s wedding. The tropical environment, the very sweet and kind people, especially the very pretty and sexy and beautiful women who showered me with affection and kindness (sometime I felt I desperately needed, no I did not get laid) and caused me to feel like a god, all the great reggae music and the great food and, of course, the wedding itself. Weddings cause me to reflect on my life and love and how that love is so important to us as humans. After the wedding I danced the night away and just let myself ‘be.’ On the flight home, I shed tears. I felt good there, at home, at peace, loved and appreciated. Here in my city, I feel like a lump of fecal matter splattered on the sidewalk. Then the stinking in-flight movie coming back was “Must Love Dogs” and like an idiot I watched it. Okay, so I am closet romantic when it comes to movies. Yes, I cry. After some a short time, I decided I was going to go back to this damn internet and look one more stinking time. I thought I would try AdultFriendFinder thinking I could at least score and maybe, just by pure luck, find friendship and possibly love. What I found is games and liars and frustration. Such a fool am I.
Maybe looking at the woman in my life as right and wrong is not the way to think. Right and wrong can have opposite meanings. If what I am thinking is the ‘wrong’ woman, the one I can not have, then Devine Intervention is taking place, saving me from myself. If she would be a huge mistake and cause more pain and trouble than the sex, then God has helped me. In which case, she is the ’right’ person. If I meet some really great person who is light years away from me, then I have been thinking ’wrong.’ If she has become a good friend and has helped me to learn and grow and heal, and her from me, then she is ’right.’ So, perhaps I should think of this as the women I can have or the one I can not have.
Life is not right or wrong, have or have not, but everything in between. I am enjoying bloging here and I have meet a great lady or 2, friends of course, so do I spend my money foolishly or wisely? Wops, forgot! Not this or that, but both and all.

catseyes23 62F

3/23/2006 9:11 pm

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