Here We Go Again - With an Update  

saxyjazzman 56M
26 posts
9/16/2005 11:07 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Here We Go Again - With an Update

This is not so much one of my essays, which a few of you - mainly guys - have been checking out. This an actual blog.

It's like they're handing me these ice cream cones every night. It drives me nuts. So if anyone wants to throw some advice my way.....

Tonight it was Satchi in the van. We're waiting for her outside the club. When she shows up, she's doing the number where she's kinda drunk and has apparently fallen totally in love, she's standing inches away from me, gazing into my eyes with a pasted-on smile that would silly if she weren't a total fox in frayed little jeans.

The lady driver is precisely that - (a lady driver, sorry) - but on 350 mg of speed. We're jouncing around, she's JUST BARELY not rear-ending taxis. I'm in the back with Satchi. It's her first night as a hostess. They always adore me the first week. God, it's so cool being in the back with her and that smile. Minimal English, but I'm mixing it up.

Driver Lady has a pet monitor lizard at home, I know this.

""Do you like lizards?" I inquire. "Tokagi," adds Driver Lady.

"Nai yo!" shudders Satchi. I wonder what she's thinking I'm getting at.

"How about a big one," I inquire, holding my hands about a foot apart, to a predictable 'Ya da!' reaction. "Well," how about THIS big?" Hands two feet apart. Then I turn it over to Driver Lady who fills her in on her baby, this huge lizard that sleeps with her cats and dog and eats cake and rides around in her van, probably as terrified by her driving as I am.

Now I want to play an original vocal for Satchi from my iBook, I reach in to get the computer and out slips a goddamn Asia Carrera porn CD - upside down so I don't THINK she saw it, despite her 43rd little gasp of surprise, her main mode of communication. I slip it back in the case. I set the earphones gently on her tiny ears. The song is my cool white boy funk, "Think About Love," the aural equivalent of a sweet kiss in a late-model SUV parked deep somewhere in the Amazon jungle. I try to explain the song. The lyrics are romantic, but a little shy.

"Are you shy?" she asks.

"Well, sometimes. Case by case."

Then a pause. "I'm shy too," she says, gazing sweetly at me, plus something wild in her eyes. I figure later I'll tell her I was lying about being shy.

She says the voice is especially sweet and something else in Japanese I'm trying to figure out, and she's holding her closed hand up toward her mouth in a way that brings nothing but fellatio to mind. I'm thinking, she's NOT asking me if I want her to suck me off, and finally it dawns on me, she's holding an air microphone and asking if it's my vocal. I tell her yeah and the driver screams around another corner.

We're all laughing. Turns out she lives withing walking distance from me. She is 23. She even plays flute but hasn't heard mine yet. Then she asks if I remember Akari - the girl I was flirting with the night before! She asks about another girl I forget. Are they gossiping about me? Now Lady Driver is totally lost, she's shooting around somewhere south of Ome-Kaido near Ogikubo. Finally she gets me home. I feel lucky to be alive in more ways then one.

This morning I'm writing this and discover the Asia Carrera CD is fucking missing. Why? Why did that happen? Who has it, Astchi or Driver Lady? Can't you just see Satchi finding it and handing it to Driver Lady? "Oh! This must belong to Saxyjazzman!" Not real saxy.

WHY did this happen? Because I'm Jewish? Are you familiar with the espression "Oy vay?" It's very very close to "Oh SHIT!" except twith a slight suggestion that God is somehow involved.

Any adoh vaisu ??

And also, what do I do when they stand so damn close to me - besides sing old Police songs??

2 posts
9/17/2005 11:26 am


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