Speed Seduction -- by her  

salacious_desire 42M/42F
19 posts
9/4/2006 4:44 pm
Speed Seduction -- by her

I have been aware and in contact with Ross Jeffries for a good number of years. I am pretty sure my actual introduction to NLP was through speed seduction. Don't know what I'm talking about? Ever see the movie Magnolia, with the Tom Cruise character? He played Frank T.J. Mackey the guy who did sex seminars for men called Seduce and Destroy. With lines like "Respect the cock! And tame the cunt" I knew early on what this was about. It has often been said that Tom Cruise's character is based off Ross Jeffries (not his real name either btw that would be Paul which took a while to get out of him long before there was the Wiki to tell us such things .

Anyway, I have read about a zillion articles/books on NLP, seduction, talked directly to creators, those that have learned the approach and other people's responses to all of the above. So finally I found the time to read The Game. It is well, it is about those that are within the mix and the big players that are teaching people. For as long as I can remember NLP people have been fighting with each other and Ross has been fighting with them. It is no surprise that he would also fight with other people trying to teach seduction techniques. They are all fucking egomaniacs. The book is really nothing new to me, but I do think it is a good fun read and teaches people some basic ideas.

Now, here is the thing. I am not against using NLP to seduce men or women. I think that in any conversation it is a good idea to know how the mind, language, and personal responses shape a dialog. I use NLP with clients all the time. There is a realization that you are manipulating, however this is something we all do. When we want a conversation to go our way we use whatever we have to make that happen. That is human nature. Manipulation in these sense is not a negative. It is restructuring and using what people already have to help them reach their goals.

Using NLP to seduce people, yeah I don't have a problem with that. It isn't like it is magic. It isn't like there is some great trick to it all. It is just understanding the mind and how people process and what cues they give off. Easy really. It's all about gaining rapport. NLP like hypnosis is never going to convince anyone of doing anything they were not already open to. There is no mind-altering stuff going on. However, from the start I have felt that Jeffries''s approach was crass, unbalanced, and unhealthy for a lot of people that have picked up the mentality of "speed seduction."

I think that treating any person as if they are just a piece of meat to run a line across is not a good idea. I think that real seduction is about getting to know a person. You could use approaches that help break the ice, and I think learning the mechanics of how we as humans interact is important, but just using NLP techniques as a way to get laid. Well, that feels a little negative to me.

I'm a major supportive of sexual freedom. By this I mean that people should have consensual sex with whomever they please. It can be casual and it can even be anonymous. To each their own. However, I think when people use speed seduction to "prey" on others, it just doesn't feel right. True these people are all doing what they want to do but it is more about the approach that specifically speed seduction advocates. It is just about getting people to fuck you (which I am not against) in a way that comes across as deceitful (which I am against.)

I think the flip side of this is that many people (often men but some women do this too) use these tools as a way to boost their self esteem. And as my very wise therapist has said "One can not fuck themselves to self-esteem." If you want to feel more confident talking to people and flirting, great I encourage it. But feeling like you are a better person simply because you talked someone into having sex with you, well I'd say there are some deeper issues that need to be addressed.

Again, I'm all for sex just being a fun experience. But I think it is important for everyone to be honest about things. Those that are a part of speed seduction often dismiss any critics as being "feminists, afraid, jealous, or uninformed" I am not any of these. I feel that there is some great stuff to learn from speed seduction (and other seduction approaches) and NLP. However, overall I think it is important to to use your powers for good and not evil. Remember that no matter even if it is casual fun sex, there is still another person who has feelings, and it is important to honor that fact.

Become a member to create a blog