Why Is Everyone So Afraid of Strings?  

safarigirl38 50F
111 posts
8/14/2006 11:36 pm

Last Read:
9/19/2006 5:07 am

Why Is Everyone So Afraid of Strings?

I've been baffled by the emails offering so much from another person that I can't help but get mind-boggled buy the vast majority that fear strings attached. What is it with that? What string are you afraid of? Friendship - which does involve give/take and emotional connection? Consensual sexual relationship - unless a one nighter - why can't there be some string saying we're bonded for this? Maybe someone is content to be another's mistress. Shouldn't the mistress have some say in the matter? Why not requesting to meet with possibility of courtship, friendship, and eventually love? I myself am so tired of having lived so many years offering NO STRINGS ATTACHED!
If you are a believer of the astrology reports, one will learn that the Aquarian - which I very much am - is the one sign maybe most afraid of committment. I can tell you, for me this has certainly been true. I may have deliberately - though subconsciously - selected people all my life (minus family) that would eventually be cleaned from my life because I didn't want the strings I first offered. I've dated some real assholes, I think I did knowing they wouldn't stay long.
A part of me now wants to change that. I grew up loving others and desiring strings. So, where did it go wrong? I think I prefer someone to grab a couple of my strings and anchor me down some. I want to feel security and closeness as any human would desire (and scientifically needs) versus just a contiuation of a life of fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants friendships, and relationships - sexual or not - that are fleating at best. I know I cannot be everyone's best friend. But there are certain people I do want some real relationship with. And that has to be a relationship with some strings for the opportunity for reciprocation, truly getting to know each other, and developing some true bonds in life.



Queenie1970 47F
1512 posts
8/14/2006 11:58 pm

Hallelujah, sister. I'm totally in the same place right now. Hell, it would just be nice to DATE...lordy, get treated like the lady I am. I guess no one can make that happen but me though. Maybe I should re-work my profile? LOL

"Sex is emotion in motion." ~ Mae West


safarigirl38 replies on 8/17/2006 9:21 pm:
Maybe that is the trick. LOL

wildoats19622 55M
3530 posts
8/15/2006 12:05 am

Did you ever attach a string to two cans and try to talk through them? I did, but I couldn't get it to work. Actually I used a wire, I thought it would work better. There is no such thing as no strings. We impact each others' lives by action AND inaction. I try to like as many people as I can. Assholes and jerks have ways of confirming who they are, all others I give the benefit of doubt. I guess that makes me a doubting Thomas.

Wild

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


safarigirl38 replies on 8/17/2006 9:22 pm:
Excellent point of view. Now you speak the truth. Unless wel live in a vaccuum, how can there not be connection?

goldfinger792 62M

8/15/2006 11:32 am

Are you ready to find someone and settle down. I don't know that much about you as a person. Just the little bit I know is that you have enjoyed life, and ready to get more situated.


boops2006 60M

8/15/2006 4:01 pm

Theres nothing wrong with "strings attached"....thats what a "relationship" is......if that is what is desired by both partners.I can understand your desire...you just have to find the right guy sweetie.

boops


safarigirl38 replies on 8/17/2006 9:42 pm:
Thank you Sweetheart!

rm_sizzlin57 60M

8/16/2006 8:34 pm

I think "no strings" just means that the person doesn't want a relationship outside of just the sex. I think that's hard to do because if you are having awesome sex with someone then you are probably connecting on a deeper level and you will want to continue it. Then the person gets scared because they don't want that deep of a relationship and they run. But certainly there are guys out there who want that deeper relationship and I'm sure you can find them. Seems like the people I've know who are looking hard for a relationship have trouble finding them and then once they quit looking...BOOM...they find the person of their dreams. I'm sure that doesn't happen all the time, but I've known it to happen several times anyway.


safarigirl38 replies on 8/17/2006 9:44 pm:
I'm not overly desparate to have a relationship right now. But if the alternative is just sex, I can pass. I can satisfy my own carnal needs. What I would like is to meet a good man for a possible relationship. If it happens, wonderful; if not, well I can't say I didn't make my intentions known.

safarigirl38 50F

8/17/2006 9:41 pm

    Quoting goldfinger792:
    Are you ready to find someone and settle down. I don't know that much about you as a person. Just the little bit I know is that you have enjoyed life, and ready to get more situated.
Yes!


safarigirl38 50F

8/25/2006 9:47 pm

    Quoting rm_johannes680:
    safarigirl38 thanks and good on you The thing that gets to me is the last part you wrote, its s true and I think a main difference for life as a woman opposed to that of a man [at least this one] ... If you cannot find a decent enough man to settle into life with you will undoubtedly still meet millions? of prospectives whereas I don't see that it is that way for men if a man is not outgoing or is suffering in some way he will not meet or have the same opportunities as women do simply because men will always be sitting on a woman's doorstep whether she wants that or not, at least you are still being made to feel wanted or interesting. This just doesn't happen for men. So you spend your remaining life alone and despairingly. This is how I see it I don't know if it's totally real but it seems that way to me and it can't change if I am stuck and no-one wants to know ..you see?
    As for your parents yes mine too but times are not the same as when they were raised and so the expectations today are not to resign yourself to this kind of blandness [as it's seen by most] we want everything fun, exciting sensual, and compelling, otherwise we throw it away and look for that again ... and ... again ... and .... again but it cannot last, eventually most end up depressed and feeling so alone and yet we have lived so hard and have so many friends....but! sigh. Not many are willing to resign themselves its not that they wouldn't commit if they believed that it would be exciting for the rest of their lives.
True. If I cannot find a decent enough man to settle into life with I will undoubtedly meet millions of others who will still not want to settle into life with me but would graciously fuck me until bored and they move on. At least I get to feel some arms and skin on skin. But what happens in 10 more years when I start to lose my physical attributes that attract men? Will I be able to maintain perky tits without cosmetic surgery, or a flawless face. Already men mention that my tummy is not as tight as it "could be." Well, some women are naturally thin and work-out machines. Though I was a 100-lbs cutie at ages 19, 20, and 21, by my later 20's and 30's my body changed. Doc said it was preparing itself for the prime time in my life to have a baby. Hmmmph! Bye bye flat tummy and hello bigger hips - with one benefit being an increase in cup size. Now I'm nearing 40. Already I see signs on my face that indicate I spent too much time in the sun when younger. I see lines I know were NOT there 10 years ago - how many more are coming and when? If I don't have the body - even the millions of men won't want to touch me with their "6" poles." (teehee)
But you put yourself down. From how you write you have so much to offer. You are intelligent and wise about people interactions. With so much candidcy and sincerity, I can tell you one thing: Try sitting on my doorstep and see what happens. Don't come as a beaten down dog, but a man with wisdom and the ability to be a companion. Come with that heart wide open and just see what would happen.


iamnoangel1961 56M

8/26/2006 10:27 pm

NO STRINGS , if they have your #, no such thing, you say its all for sex, and fuck like crazy ,then in week or 2 hey can you do this for me, well i have to work , well fine fuck you. damm a guy gotta work


iamnoangel1961 56M

8/26/2006 10:28 pm

but not a fraid of strings just say what it is ok, my 2 cents 2 everyone


iamnoangel1961 56M

9/10/2006 1:30 pm

ah can i say something, this person will not let me in her house, her personal space, been to my house many times,only wants to get to gather when she needs or wants something from me. she calls my SUV a truck, it's not a truck, but wants too take off work to haul trees for her? always strange stings attached


safarigirl38 50F

9/12/2006 8:39 pm

    Quoting rm_johannes680:
    Something else I'd like to point out is that what I talked about before about what I would be happy to do within a sexual relationship is fine the difference is that this is not a sexual relationship you simply have sexual relations.
    Women learn very early how to get men to do things for them they start to learn it best from the time their tits start to show, men on the other hand till about 35-45 are mostly only concerned with getting sex and their own egos, and by the time you are wondering who/what you areor need, you are stuck in this servitude habit that women have had you in for years. So learn to differentiate between what is sexual relations and sexual relationships or any other relationship for that matter.
I'm getting out the hip-high waders for all this shyt. WHO and WHERE are you? I know even Down Under it is a patriarchal society. Don't begin to tell me about the roles of men and women in relationships. You're doing one thing for a woman becomes some tit for tat list of obligations. And should you REALLY think of all that women do for men, I think you'd be able so to see who is most likely to be in a role of servitude. Thank God times are changing and women are becoming smarter. We aren't here to serve men.


safarigirl38 50F

9/12/2006 11:19 pm

    Quoting iamnoangel1961:
    ah can i say something, this person will not let me in her house, her personal space, been to my house many times,only wants to get to gather when she needs or wants something from me. she calls my SUV a truck, it's not a truck, but wants too take off work to haul trees for her? always strange stings attached
First of all, I like your new main photo. I think it shows you are a very good person and you are attractive.
From what you are saying, I think you are being too kind. I don't know how long you've been in this relationship, but the truth is that it isn't a healthy one. A relationship needs to be 50/50.
Of course I too call a SUV a truck. It may be "sporty," but when something is a utility vehicle that's what I consider it to be. But then, that isn't really an issue I hope. The fact that makes demands of you that you aren't comfortable with is the issue. Tell her your tired of the crap and move on. Can you honestly say you love her?


stevenLuv4u 65M
142 posts
9/13/2006 6:42 pm

We have "strings" attched to all we meet. At the minimum....a little memory string. But to make love- mental,emotional, physical and if meaningful, spiritual strings that tie us together for ever. Two people coming together... naked...nothing separates us...no pretense.for the soul purpose of pleasing and enjoying each other. Learning..exploring each other..paying attention. And when it is right..egos collapse and we become one for that moment. Giggling afterward while we try to breathe again. Srings? Of course..but conscious and honest ones when we care about each other.


iamnoangel1961 56M

9/14/2006 8:17 pm

    Quoting safarigirl38:
    First of all, I like your new main photo. I think it shows you are a very good person and you are attractive.
    From what you are saying, I think you are being too kind. I don't know how long you've been in this relationship, but the truth is that it isn't a healthy one. A relationship needs to be 50/50.
    Of course I too call a SUV a truck. It may be "sporty," but when something is a utility vehicle that's what I consider it to be. But then, that isn't really an issue I hope. The fact that makes demands of you that you aren't comfortable with is the issue. Tell her your tired of the crap and move on. Can you honestly say you love her?
thank you, and yes have moved on, and no love was never there


iamnoangel1961 56M

9/14/2006 8:24 pm

    Quoting stevenLuv4u:
    We have "strings" attched to all we meet. At the minimum....a little memory string. But to make love- mental,emotional, physical and if meaningful, spiritual strings that tie us together for ever. Two people coming together... naked...nothing separates us...no pretense.for the soul purpose of pleasing and enjoying each other. Learning..exploring each other..paying attention. And when it is right..egos collapse and we become one for that moment. Giggling afterward while we try to breathe again. Srings? Of course..but conscious and honest ones when we care about each other.
dude you ever wacth a porn movie, or get drunk and horny


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