How much do you lie on AFF?  

sac_geek_cpl 42M/43F
16 posts
6/2/2006 9:52 am

Last Read:
6/3/2006 12:09 am

How much do you lie on AFF?

I've read what many people have written on AdultFriendFinder and there seems to be some dissent if this place really works for meeting real people. Some people say it works great and other say they have yet to meet anyone in person.

I was wondering if maybe it's about the amount of truth presented. If you show more of your true self, is it harder to meet people? Or, if you wrap yourself in a nice package is it then easier to get to that first date?

I'm not into romanticizing things. I like to present myself as I am. Now, my husband is a photographer and I have artistic leanings, so getting a good picture of myself isn't hard. But the picture I give is of me.

I read this one review of AdultFriendFinder that said that real people exist on AdultFriendFinder, but all those real people are ugly. I thought this was an interesting perspective because it kinda supported the idea that it could be easier to meet people if you lie about who you are. By putting up a fake picture and doctoring up your stats, perhaps you’d get more bites.

I understand that most people in this world are concerned with looks. I've been fat my entire life, so under conventional terms I will never be considered pretty. Forgetting the fact that I have an attractive, symmetrical face. Or that I bathe regularly and like to paint my nails and dye my hair and dress up. Forgetting all those things, some people will automatically decide I'm ugly because I'm overweight.

So, maybe the problem of people not meeting people is about expectations. I’ve gotten quite a few messages in my mailbox since we signed up. In my mind, that is a success. The next step is meeting people in person and we’re working on that hurdle.

I could see some people weighing their success on how pretty the people that reply to them are and just rejecting outright anyone that doesn’t match up to their expectations. In my mind, if you’re not open to the process, then you’re gonna loose. That seems to be the simple answer.

But, as of yet, I don’t have any firm proof that this site works. We’ll see.

moonlightphoenix 46F
6508 posts
6/2/2006 10:17 am

It's definitely about expectations and self representation. Guys who just send out the "Hi...wanna fuck?" emails are not going to get any responses. If people put in a little effort, and keep in mind that this is not a mail order service, that yes, there are real people here, and adjust accordingly, then they'll do fine. I've met all kinds here. I've been in the lifestyle off and on for over 6 years, in 3 different states, and two provinces, so I know that this is a real experience. You just have to remember to treat people like real people. I mean...would you walk up to a hottie in a bar and say "Hey, wanna fuck? Here's my me anytime." Ok, granted...some would...but would you actually be turned on? In reality, it's doubtful.

and BTW...fat doesn't automatically make you ugly. Only to stupid people.

You GO girl!

rm_HeavyGal1957 61F
2166 posts
6/2/2006 10:18 am

I think you look perfectly attractive. You have lovely eyes, and they are, it is said, the windows to the soul. Personal hygiene and good grooming are much more important than conventional "good looks."

People's perceptions of me changed when I gained 80 lbs during my nasty divorce. I have experienced life on each side of the weight debate, so to speak. I need to now lose the weight due to health reasons, but I'm no better or worse a person 'cause I'm fat. Nor are you.

Other cultures are not as judgmental based on a person's weight. My European and Asian friends accept me as the good person I hope I am, or the one they believe me to be. They liked me thin, they like me now that I'm hefty. American is a nation of wannabe stick figures, though I've seen more seriously overweight people since I got back here than I ever saw in Europe or the Middle East.

As far as lying on the site: sure, people do it constantly, post fake profiles, disguise their gender, etc. I admire you greatly for having the courage to post your face on your ad. Due to my work and "position in the community," plus not wanting my ex or his family to know who I am, I've just gone with a "chest shot" to be funny. But you're a real person.

I've faked a few details on the profile for privacy reasons. My exact location is fudged, my exact age, a couple of other things. I don't consider it major, I consider it being safe. I was cyberstalked here, and had to close down another profile, after which I said never again.

As far as the site working, I'm keeping an open mind. Just met someone in my state who looks promising. We're planning to meet next week to see if were compatible. I've been on here for a few years now, and this is the first real-sounding person I've encountered. So we'll see.

As long as our country deifies people as skinny as Jennifer Aniston or Paris Hilton, and the other idiots, real people with real bodies don't have a chance. We're often such fools.

Sorry I rambled on so long. Good luck in your future dealings here.

--The Heavy Gal in NH

Obesa cantavit!

honeypot7473 44F

6/2/2006 10:23 am

I think there are alot of people on here that use fake photos to attract attention, but those that do can never really hope to meet someone in person. How could they, everything they have presented themselves as is a lie. To actually meet someone would expose them. Would you when meeting someone that you thought was one thing, when faced with the reality of there lies go through with anything. I wouldn't, most of the people I know wouldn't. So, I don't see what they truly hope to gain from this.Yes, you can meet real people from here. I really want to meet someone and have met a nice girl I hope to get to meet in person soon, our schedules clash. It is possible, just be patient and real.

bipolybabe 56F

6/2/2006 10:28 am

I decided it was too much work to fake anything, so I put it all out there. I live in a small town where I've lived for 26 years. I figure if someone sees me on a sex site, it's because he or she is on a sex site, too. I've outed myself as bisexual, fascinated with sex and as a carrier of genital herpes. Big deal. Get over it, is my opinion.

They are recent, real pix of me, and that's my actual age.

I want to be exactly who I am and not someone's idea of what I ought to or should be.

"And this above all things, to thine own self be true."



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