Hide and Seek?  

sac_geek_cpl 42M/43F
16 posts
5/21/2006 1:44 am

Last Read:
5/31/2006 4:40 pm

Hide and Seek?

So, I'm searching through the site and finding something very curious. A lot of profiles have short (one or two line) introductions, no picture, and then equally short descriptions of the kind of person they're looking for.

I get that there are very practical reasons not to talk about your sex life or sexual orientation with coworkers. And there are some careers, like teachers, that are very political and any perversion can affect your ability to get or keep a job.

But I have to wonder. Are people hiding to protect themselves or are people hiding because they're ashamed? I have some real strong views about shame. I don't think it's a useful emotion.

I'm not an activist for my lifestyle. I don't feel like I need to prove anything to anyone about the choices I make in my personal life. And I don's see the point of politicize my lifestyle because I don't believe this lifestyle is for everyone.

But, on a site like this, where the whole point is to expose yourself in order to make friends with other like minded adults, it seems odd to me that so many people are still in hiding.

Maybe part of the problem is that they don't know themselves or know what they want. I could see that. Or, maybe, if the point is to hook up with strangers for casual sex, a two-line description is the best way to achieve that. I can see that too.

I'm trying to see into the minds and motivations of these people and it's really hard for me. I don't invite trouble into my life by exposing myself in inappropriate situations, like I don't walk into a church and declare that my husband and I are looking for a date.

But, in the rest of my life, I'm an honest and forthright person. Pretty much, what you see is what you get.

I don't mean to be preachy of full of myself; I'm just trying to understand something that doesn't make sense to me.


FunSacCouple4U 48M/47F

5/21/2006 4:53 pm

You know something, I think we're either kindred spirits or we've read the same books, been influenced by the same type of events in our lives...

I am secure in who I am, in my relationship with my wife, and with others, and secure in what I enjoy. I don't need to convince people that I'm right in order to prove something to myself or them.

I live my life according to a simple set of ethics, 1) Be Impeccable with my word, 2) Take Nothing Personal 3) Assume Nothing 4) Do Your Best, Period. Simple. Other people have many more rules. Other people have fewer. We all have our issues, right? I like what you have to say, and want to hear more!


rm_csd80 38M
582 posts
5/22/2006 9:50 am

I can understand why someone would be vague in there description of what they are looking for. Not many people know what they are looking for so they don’t want to be too specific and miss out on someone just because they mention that they like long hair and forget to mention that it’s not a requirement. Being too specific may make you miss out on a good thing. Frankly a lot of guys on here want any kind of relationship they can get.

As for vague descriptions of themselves, I just don’t think they are taking the site seriously. If they were they would fill out everything they could. You may also be seeing a lot of the fake profiles that are so prevalent among women on here.

Take a look at my [blog csd80]

Sac's Hot Spot has regular meet and greets that are allways fun. It can use some more active members, especially women.


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