Are girls just not into this stuff?  

sac_geek_cpl 42M/43F
16 posts
5/23/2006 8:46 am

Last Read:
5/25/2006 11:08 pm

Are girls just not into this stuff?

Are girls just not into this stuff?

In my sexual lifetime I stared early with the alternative part. I dated my first couple the same year I lost my virginity. Sexually things didn't go far but it was educational. They were dating me because of problems in their relationship. The woman wasn’t into it, but she went along with it despite the problems she had with it. It also ended because of her problems with it.

After that, my first big relationship was all messed up but I never questioned his demand that we have an open relationship. Honestly, I didn't mind sharing him with partners in our bed. The real problem was that he didn't care for me in the same way I cared for him so I got insecure when he went off to be with girls without me.

Once that fiasco was over, I had three way's on my own. I fell in love with a couple girls, but knew I was too into cock to go lesbian. I'm bisexual, but with a strong heterosexual leaning.

And then there was my husband. When we first got together I assumed that things had to be open. I didn’t know any better, and open relationships were what I was used to. I knew he was a keeper when he told me that there was a choice. He would be fine with me being the only one ever, or inviting in other people, but that I was always the most important person to him.

That is the first rule in our Open Relationship. Our marriage is number one. And, if we're having problem we close down our relationship.

Back to my original thought. I’ve known a lot of men that are really into the whole open marriage thing but I haven’t met that many women that are really excited about it. Somewhere along the line, having an open relationship became a value of mine. Any attraction I feel for other people doesn’t detract for the deep love and attraction I have for my husband.

And, long as my husband and I are stable, I don’t see any reason to keep our relationship closed. Sometimes it feels like I’m one of the only women around that believes in open relationships. It often seems like the women I’ve know in open relationships are going along with it, without trying to figure out what they REALLY want.

I am by no means saying that the women on this site are letting their husbands convince them to do things they don’t want to do. What I’m saying is no less flattering (that some of these women may NOT BE THINKING about the choices their making) but it seems a bit less sleazy to me.

The problem is that I want friends and lovers that actually think and make choices about how they live their lives, instead of going along with the status quo. Now, I admit, that in the beginning I was just as guilty of going along. But I’ve moved past that part of my life. I am so ready for the part where I meet a man AND WOMAN that are BOTH into the open relationship that they’ve chosen.

rm_csd80 38M
582 posts
5/23/2006 10:59 am

That’s the danger of an open relationship. One partner may agree to it thinking they will loose their partner if they don’t. It takes a lot of trust, honesty and commitment for it to work. Most relationships don’t have that. I’m not sure if it’s genetic or societal but most women spend their whole single life looking for their last love, as if they can’t love more than one person at a time.

I guess it’s also possible that the woman can have less interest in dating other people than the guy but she is still ok with it. Kind of like two people having different sex drives.

An open relationship doesn’t require both people to be dating someone outside the marriage. Just because one person has found someone they want to date doesn’t mean the other person has.

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