Humor from the medical profession  

rollingrock61 57M
16 posts
5/31/2006 9:06 pm
Humor from the medical profession

1. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. " yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
From a Dr. in Seattle, WA

2. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one?" I asked " the patch. The nurse told me to put one on every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what i hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
From a Dr. in Norfolk, VA

3. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"
It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
From a Dr. in Detroit, MI

4. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener."
The Dr. wouldn't reveal his name.

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