The Early Stages of Man on AFF  

rockwriter58 58M
1524 posts
4/8/2005 1:51 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Early Stages of Man on AFF

(To the kind folks who keep asking what my experience has been like here so far, this is an abbreviated diary.)

Hadean Era
"The Sound of Silence"
There is much scurrying about and looking around. That kid in the candy store feeling is in your gut when you first get here. Looking at pictures (and profiles if you are more than a standard member.) Soon you are shooting e-mails everywhere. No one bothers to reply. No one looks at your profile.

Archaean Era
"Invasion of the Pornbots"
Eventually you discover some of your early choices were unwise. Those who are here to send you spam or get you to buy services from other sites descend on your inbox. This is when you discover how to report problems to technical assistance.

Proterozoic Era
"The Age of Discovery"
You find that the website is more than pictures, profiles and e-mail. You start reading the blogs and magazine section. You read (and maybe post, if you are brave) in the discussion boards. You swim through some chat rooms. Mostly people still ignore you or treat you as the newbie that you are here.

Cambrian Era
"Network Failure"
You discover the nifty network feature. ("Aaahh, a way to communicate with those elusive standard members," you think to yourself.) You start inviting folks. Lo and behold, a few join your network. When folks join, you get very excited. (Early in the process I had no declines, which made it even more exciting.) Then you discover those folks will never talk to you again. Back to the drawing board.

(The remaining stages will be listed inside.)

rockwriter58 58M
1389 posts
4/8/2005 1:54 pm


Ordovician Era

"Enter the System Cops"
Like any community a virtual community has those who set the standards and make sure they are policed. If you are married and looking (like me) that hangs a target on your back in some places here. Be careful. You won't just be verbally assaulted in public posts. You will get e-mail. (From men and women alike.) You discover you need to be very careful about what you write and post, unless you want to deal with the verbal assault. And is that why you really came here?

Silurian Era
"Siren Call of the Courtesans"
Just when the cops leave, you stumble on the areas where the courtesans thrive. (Call them hookers, prostitutes or some other euphemism. They are here.) Report them, but their profiles never seem to disappear. (Others report success at getting these profiles removed, if so, contact me and I'll send you screen names. I've had no luck.) I have stories about the exchanges that will fill a post... for now... let's just say it is good to get this phase behind you.

Devonian Era
"Calling Ms. Mismatch"
Women aren't the only ones who get unsolicited mail from folks who do not match their profiles. Some of these appear to be leftovers from the previous stage (Are they sharing your handle and telling stories? Who knows?). Some are just sending out massive mailings to folks. This is when you get to put your kindness to work when you decline. (What you've been wishing you would get in some of your rejection e-mails.)

Carbonifereous Era
Friends of both genders emerge (virtually) both locally and long distance. You have real discussions via e-mail and on the discussion boards. These folks are (usually) not interested in pairing up with you, but they give great advice. You start revising your profile. A lot.

Permian Era
"Me? Hot?"
By now, given your experiences, you may have doubts about all this, and self-doubt too. Then someone adds you to their hotlist. Great! Your heart leaps. (And I apologize, I hope I don't get deleted for revealing this.) But then you notice that person lives in another country. Somewhere you haven't been in a long time. So you are pleased and honored and send off some nice e-mail. But it is certainly a mixed blessing. That isn't why you came either. (Nice ego stroke though.)

Triassic Era
"You've Got Mail"
Finally. Someone you have a real interest in starts up at least some small talk via e-mail. Your heart leaps. Maybe this has potential after all.

(Obviously, each person's experience is different. Some of these stages overlap, and you may dance back and forth between them. This is where I am so far. I'm looking forward to the next stages.)

1 post
4/8/2005 3:10 pm

Brilliant post. As a new member here on AdultFriendFinder, the only replies I have received so far have been from women wanting money. It's easier to get a prostitute on the High Street, ladies. I have yet to prgoress further down the natural progression of AdultFriendFinder, but perhaps there is hope yet.

Your post made me smile...

LustGoddess2469 51F  
2453 posts
4/8/2005 5:21 pm

Great post - thanks for the smile.


Apolybear 55M

4/8/2005 10:00 pm

Rocket, this is an outstanding post! I'm a seasoned member of this site and you've captured the true essence of this site.

Ignore the morality police. There assholes! There’s some legitimate females on this site who want a discreet relationship. It’s just hard to find any that live nearby. Good luck.

Murax 55M  
934 posts
4/9/2005 3:52 am

You should make an article out of this. And when you do let us all know and we'll call in the calvary to support you against the morality police. I'm in the mood to dish out some abuse anyway.

zenyen 67M

4/9/2005 8:03 pm


I've gone back and read your blog and I can identify with a lot of what you say. The VOID, the mid-life crisis, the identity issues, the moralists, etc. Don't "sanitize" your profile - "why not just say what is?" There are people on here who think what we are doing is wrong, but no one meeting me has been coerced, nor have they been duped by any misrepresentation of my desires and intentions. Perhaps we should demand that the moralizers repent or be banished to Christian Singles.

Finally, yes, it is possible to meet real people through AdultFriendFinder and real and satisfying experiences and relationships. But it's not easy; the odds are stacked against us. Be patient, be persistent, be honest. Good luck.

rockwriter58 58M
1389 posts
4/11/2005 12:43 pm

Thank you to all who posted and thanks for the compliments.

I will have to consider posting this as an article, but later. I'm not up for the heat right now. I can take it but I have other priorities.

Also, I've already got another stage. So maybe there's a sequel. And no, the next stage is not one that I saw coming. But that is always the way it is, right?

keithcancook 61M
18138 posts
4/22/2005 4:18 pm

That was one of the most creative blog posts I have seen on here. Brilliant and well written as others have said.

Interestingly, I just recently did a blog on this same subject that you have posted 2 weeks prior. I even used a similar photograph. However, your post is superior to mine.

Blog On!

greatnsexy69 48M

10/26/2005 10:35 pm

I've been lucky as I've only had one prostitute contact me. I've been thinking that when someone says in their profile 'not interested in back and forth emails or chat' should have been a clue to me. Mostly the Free email I use for this site can get overloaded for all I care. It's not my private email as I would never give that out to anyone I haven't met personally. Mostly I've been contacted by profiles (men, women, bots, aliens?) redirecting me to other sites with an AVS login. I honestly don't understand the logic in that as AVS logins are traded on the net constantly. There is a usenet newsgroup devoted to this. I have been contacted by a couple of real women, rejections of course at this early stage. But at least you know there are a few real women here.

rockwriter58 58M
1389 posts
11/1/2005 9:24 pm

>>>Greatnsexy... thanks for rummaging around in these early posts and reviving this classic. I also don't understand the model for how some of the spamming and come-ons work here. It seems like they would frustrate so many folks that their rate of return would be tiny. Besides, if you want to find hookers... or porn for that matter... there are easier ways to find it without all the hassles.

>>>The new blogging etiquette (don't you wish someone had posted on that when you started writing here!) says I should have thanked Keith oh so many moons ago... so here is my belated acknowledgement of his comment. Thanks!


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