Submissive Urgings (also on my blog at  

rm_vanillamask 50F
14 posts
1/9/2006 6:13 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Submissive Urgings (also on my blog at

I've had a friend ask me recently why there are so many women who like to be submissive (in his experience). Now, I cannot possibly speak for any woman besides myself, so I will not generalize, but I can say a few things with certainty about my own liking for submissive fantasies, and some realities.

I am in control of my day, I call the shots, I am the boss, I set my schedule, and I say yea or nay to possible activities. I end up being the person to choose most of the movies, restaurants, and places my husband and I shop, and there just comes a time when I am tired of being in control.

Don't get me wrong, now. I do like being assertive and voicing my opinions on many aspects of my life. I am doing so now, on a very private aspect of my life. But when it comes to what turns me on, I'd like for someone else to be in control.

It comes down to, I believe, the things that get me wet. And as I've already written, there are things that just don't cut it for me. They may have once, but not anymore.

A nice, steamy love scene in a movie is all well and good, but if there are not certain elements to it, I can find it totally unarousing, and the same thing can happen with real life.

I play Mommy all day long. My man is a wonderful person and a very nice man. But as there is a time for a woman not to be a lady, there is also a time for a man not to be nice. I don't mean that I want him to be cruel; I'm not into that sort of stuff. Just... in charge.

It was quite a few years ago when I noticed that I liked being told what to do. "Get up on your hands and knees, baby." "Suck my cock." " Spread your legs for me." Mmmmm. So nice. I wasn't quite sure why it added so very much to the experience, but I did start at least acknowledging that side of myself.

Combine that with the Daddy/daughter fantasy, or Professor/student, or even Boss/employee, and bam! I had a fantasy life that was immensely more satisfying than it had been for some time.

Bringing it from fantasy into real life took some exploring, first. Not everything I fantasize about would be something I'd be entirely comfortable with if it happened to me physically. But the fantasy can be quite intense, and is good enough for the most part.

But to hear a man, particularly one with a voice I like (doesn't always have to be deep, but that can sure help), telling me what to do can flip my switch, give me shivers, and get me wet in very little time.

In my last post I mentioned that some men never really took the challenge of pleasuring me; the first step is getting me wet and ready. And all it would really take is a few whispers.

"You look so sexy, baby, I can't wait until we leave here so I can fuck you to my heart's content."

"Go take your panties off and bring them back to me."

"You want your daddy's big cock inside that tight little pussy? Hmmm? You know you do. You're wet right now, thinking about what a naughty girl you are, aren't you? You can't wait to be in the car and suck my cock. I can tell. Or maybe tonight I'll take out out on some country road, bend you over the trunk and flip your skirt up so I can fuck you in the moonlight. You miss that, princess?"

A few whispers speaking to what turns a woman on (or a man, for that matter), can make a dull party one of the best you've ever been to.

In the book JAWS, by Peter Benchley, there is a scene where Matt Hooper (played by Richard Dreyfuss in the movie) is meeting with Ellen Brody clandestinely, at a restaurant. He tells her to go into the bathroom and take off her panties and slip them into her purse. She does this.

I don't remember the rest of the scene, the rest of their sexual interaction, and I read this when I was a teenager... but that little snippet of scene stayed with me through the years. So naughty. She is turned on by him, and she finds that she likes a bit of dominance in her partner; she has her boundaries pushed, and she takes a risk... and it excites her.

It excited me then, and it excites me now. I was understandably disappointed that it was not in evidence in the movie, but c'est la vie.

Wishing all of you a happy New Year's celebration, and don't forget to whisper in your partner's ear to spice up a boring party.

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