When is a kiss welcomed or not...  

rm_txrose4uNTX 59F
5791 posts
9/5/2006 10:17 pm

Last Read:
9/11/2006 7:58 pm

When is a kiss welcomed or not...

I am such a touchy feely person that
is it nearly automatic for me to
offer a hug or a kiss

depending

upon

the situation.

A coworker was leaving work and passed by me
while I was already on my way home. We talked for a bit and I told her that I was sorry she was having such a rough day and feeling like she was about to break down,

then,

I asked if she would like a hug.

I felt like I had offended her when she affirmed days later when our shifts collided that I most certainly did not offend her. She said that normally she would have been very receptive to a hug and didn't know what overcame her.

Tonight, I had an awkward moment as I met up with someone that is on my MySpace friend's list and I have been corresponding, bantering, etc. with for quite some time now. He had invited me over to his home for pina coladas. We had a wonderful time drinking the pina coladas. Question is though, as I was leaving, we had that moment that was awkward as typically I wouldn't have at least turned to the fella to give him a quick good night kiss; however, I felt awkward in doing so and just turned and walked down the steps to my car. Perhaps, it was that he is european born and raised and may have a bit of a different culture than mine when it comes to dating of sorts.

Sometimes, I think I am losing my touch....

I wouldn't have plastered a wet goloshy type of kiss on him... just a quick friendly kiss on the cheek type, unless he made the move for something more.

QUESTIONS:

Who do you take your cues from? or
Do you set your own cues????

Is it totally faux paux for a woman to turn to a man to just give a kiss on the cheek????

When is it appropriate to give a kiss or not???

Augguhhh...

I so thought I had this dating thing down, but tonight made me wonder, if I might be losing my touch. I know that it has been a few months since I have dated anyone new for a potential more than a date type of person.

What do you think???

Please do tell.

TxRose



1eroticjoe 57M
3777 posts
9/9/2006 3:48 pm

I am a touchy feely person too. However, my wife is not. Especially in public. I think it goes back to how we are raised more than anything.

The only time I have felt awkward with this sort of thing is when I see a couple of old frieds of mine and my wife is present. These are ladies that I grew up with and have known forever. They know I am touchy feely and they expect me to kiss them when we say hello and goodbye. My wife has never registered any visible jealousy or uncomfortable signs on these occassions.

I actually believe she thinks it is very endearing but she would personally cringe if one of her old friends hugged or kissed her.


rm_txrose4uNTX 59F
3289 posts
9/7/2006 6:48 am

    Quoting humboldthonni:
    In Europe, it is normal to kiss each cheek hello and goodbye. I find myself kissing all kinds of people. But every once in a while, the lips turn and graze mine and then I too am mystified....But body language speaks large.

    thanks for your recent post on my blog...It was so nice to see you!
Thanks, humboldthonni. It is nice to be back as well. I am looking forward to reading more of your blog, and others, as I get resituated in Blogland...

More to come....

TxRose


rm_txrose4uNTX 59F
3289 posts
9/6/2006 7:38 pm

    Quoting nedthebundler:
    Rose,
    A big can of worms opened on this one...

    Speaking from my perspective only, I am open to giving a hug to someone that I know, but will wait for the other person to initiate if I don't know them that well. As for kissing, I'm akward about that. I was not raised in a touching family, and it doesn't feel comfortable to me, but I will accept them without hesitation.

    I think men as a general thing have been scared off of hugging or giving a light peck on the cheek to women, by some of the heavy-handed PC Police that will interperate ANY form of touching, or even asking if the other person would like a hug as sexual harassment. In the odd case it has resulted in job loss, or ruined reputation, so it is simply not worth the risk.

    I also think that for a woman to initiate is generally considered as OK to respond to. The only problem is how the male takes it... Is she just being friendly, does she like me more than just as a friend, does this mean she wants to have sex?

    I've been out of the dating game a lot longer than you (wives can be soooo unreasonable...LO so I'm not 100% sure how I would react. There is also the level of shyness to be considered, I'm fairly shy with new people, and tend to hold back. I figure I'm fairly safe with a handshake.
Insofar as the PC police, I think that they take it too far. A simple pat on the arm or back shouldn't be interpreted as anything more than that...as well as a hug; however, I can understand where someone is pinned in a corner and forced to kiss (the wet gooey kind) and the situation is all one sided to consider that sexual harrassment indeed. Oh, well.... I presume that they have to cover all bases for a basis of a potential lawsuit.

I do find myself hesitating as well at times...insofar as trying to figure out how they are going to take it. I know how I meant it; but, if I think that someone may blow it out of proportion, then I hesitate at times, but will usually just give at least a hug....

Too many protocols to figure out. In the meantime, I guess I'll take whatever ebb the tide will pull me and let it all rest in God's hands; enjoying each moment for the moment it is....


nedthebundler 58M/60F

9/6/2006 10:50 am

Rose,
A big can of worms opened on this one...

Speaking from my perspective only, I am open to giving a hug to someone that I know, but will wait for the other person to initiate if I don't know them that well. As for kissing, I'm akward about that. I was not raised in a touching family, and it doesn't feel comfortable to me, but I will accept them without hesitation.

I think men as a general thing have been scared off of hugging or giving a light peck on the cheek to women, by some of the heavy-handed PC Police that will interperate ANY form of touching, or even asking if the other person would like a hug as sexual harassment. In the odd case it has resulted in job loss, or ruined reputation, so it is simply not worth the risk.

I also think that for a woman to initiate is generally considered as OK to respond to. The only problem is how the male takes it... Is she just being friendly, does she like me more than just as a friend, does this mean she wants to have sex?

I've been out of the dating game a lot longer than you (wives can be soooo unreasonable...LO so I'm not 100% sure how I would react. There is also the level of shyness to be considered, I'm fairly shy with new people, and tend to hold back. I figure I'm fairly safe with a handshake.

Madness takes its toll. Exact change please!


rm_txrose4uNTX 59F
3289 posts
9/6/2006 6:23 am

    Quoting IviesBidesJuste:
    I believe it's called "chemistry". If there's enough, then a kiss would have been done without much thought.

    Traditionally in other countries, a light peck on each cheek is a means of saying hello to a friend. Not so here in the states, since we're such sacred cows about such a thing.
Perhaps, you are right. I was raised in a family that gives hugs and kisses...hellos and goodbyes. It just seems awkward at times when you wanna follow suit and then don't.

I just think everyone should be receptive to hugs and kisses....

After all, when people receive hugs and kisses, it leaves them with good feelings. They say it is a healthy thing to do....

TxRose


IviesBidesJuste 56M
3658 posts
9/6/2006 3:08 am

I believe it's called "chemistry". If there's enough, then a kiss would have been done without much thought.

Traditionally in other countries, a light peck on each cheek is a means of saying hello to a friend. Not so here in the states, since we're such sacred cows about such a thing.


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