If you knew that your boss is on AFF...  

rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
5791 posts
9/2/2006 4:09 pm

Last Read:
9/7/2006 10:26 pm

If you knew that your boss is on AFF...

would you go looking for his profile?

would you let him know that you knew he was on AdultFriendFinder?

or...

just leave well enough alone...

and...

keep business as business...

and...

your personal life as your personal life????

Just thinking it might askew his judgement of me (for the good or bad, I don't know). Too risky, I think although he has made references to "some people don't care for my lifestyle" without really stating anything more or offering any sort of explanation. What do you think???

What a dilemma!!!

Just curious as to what you would do, if you were in my shoes????

TxRose



rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
3289 posts
9/4/2006 11:22 am

    Quoting IviesBidesJuste:
    Why should that be so complex? Just keep quiet and let him do his thing. Business is business, and since it seems you deal with his email and such, that deserves even more discreetness.

    If you think he's "opening doors" with this. I can guarantee that he is doing one of two things. One, is seeing if you tell anyone, which can jeopordize your job, or, two, He's thinking more with his dick than he is with his head and he's making suggestions that I'm sure will just be a lawsuit waiting to happen with HR and policies on sexual harassment.

    No matter how friendly you think you may be with people at work, I can bet it's always some sort of test. So beware.
Actually, that does make perfect sense....

Of course, I wouldn't tell anyone else about it; just him. However, I can see your point.

Thanks!!

TxRose


IviesBidesJuste 56M
3658 posts
9/4/2006 4:07 am

    Quoting rm_txrose4uNTX:
    Actually, while growing up DrSpots, my father taught me the same thing. Trouble is though, your coworkers tend to think you as being arrogant, snobbish, etc. Finding that magic mixture between the two can be quite complex.

    When a boss tells you to check his emails and voice mails, one is bound to make the discovery of his AdultFriendFinder membership. He had already openned the door for questioning on this. The thing is, I probably would ask about it, if I didn't know what it was. By being quiet about it, I may actually letting him know that I know.

    LOL... Life can be sooooo very complex, can't it????
Why should that be so complex? Just keep quiet and let him do his thing. Business is business, and since it seems you deal with his email and such, that deserves even more discreetness.

If you think he's "opening doors" with this. I can guarantee that he is doing one of two things. One, is seeing if you tell anyone, which can jeopordize your job, or, two, He's thinking more with his dick than he is with his head and he's making suggestions that I'm sure will just be a lawsuit waiting to happen with HR and policies on sexual harassment.

No matter how friendly you think you may be with people at work, I can bet it's always some sort of test. So beware.


IviesBidesJuste 56M
3658 posts
9/4/2006 3:55 am

I'd keep quiet. In fact I wouldn't even tell other coworkers that you or them are on the site. It just creates situations at the office that are unnecessary.

If he has a private lifestyle that he prefers keeping discreet, and you find out. I'd still keep it to myself.

I've known VP's and CEO's for companies that have a pretty wild private life, but it would be almost disastrous if you have someone running around telling people. This is what they don't want.

Be as discreet with them, as you'd want them to be with you.


rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
3289 posts
9/3/2006 1:14 pm

    Quoting DrSpots:
    I would keep it to myself. Mixing personal and business is like asking for a fire, i.m.h.o.
Actually, while growing up DrSpots, my father taught me the same thing. Trouble is though, your coworkers tend to think you as being arrogant, snobbish, etc. Finding that magic mixture between the two can be quite complex.

When a boss tells you to check his emails and voice mails, one is bound to make the discovery of his AdultFriendFinder membership. He had already openned the door for questioning on this. The thing is, I probably would ask about it, if I didn't know what it was. By being quiet about it, I may actually letting him know that I know.

LOL... Life can be sooooo very complex, can't it????


rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
3289 posts
9/3/2006 1:04 pm

    Quoting newaroundhere64:
    As it turns out, my assistant and her husband have a couples profile on this site, as well as alt dot com. They are in the SMBD lifestyle. She thought it rocked that I had a profile here. We've looked at each others profiles. She's invited me to join her friends network, something I'm reluctant to do.

    It has enhanced our working relationship because there is a new trust with each other.

    Guess it depends on the situation. As far as my assistant, it doesn't interfere because I wouldn't wink or email her through her profile, nor she me. Just not each others' type.
First of all, Ana_6973, I am glad to see you stop by my site. It has been a while since we have corresponded with each other. Sounds like we should be talking to you and your bosses to see about your adult business sponsoring, perhaps, a portion of an AdultFriendFinder Blogger Convention in Las Vegas or in Lake Tahoe in Nevada??? Something to think about at any rate.

At any rate, I think you are right, too. Your situation of working in an environment that is more conducive to being more open about such things sets one up for being more open about being on such extra curricular activities such as this site.

Most folks don't have this luxury because they are, essentially, living a double life -- one that is professional and businesslike, while exploring their inner desires. It is hard, for most folks to maintain a business environment if their bosses and coworkers know about their lifestyle and potentially set themselves up for sexual harrassment from their coworkers/bosses, if they knew. If it were to go to court, it would make it harder to prove that it wasn't set up because the knowledge was made public by you -- although, if you take the sexual harrassment trainings provided to everyone at your work, your sexual orientation and lifestyle isn't supposed to become the center of any unwanted, offensive conversation, jokes, ridicule, etc.

Because of this, sometimes it would seem to leave well enough alone, unless you are in a conducive environment. Determining how conducive your environment is, is certainly another story altogether.


rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
3289 posts
9/3/2006 12:51 pm

    Quoting newaroundhere64:
    As it turns out, my assistant and her husband have a couples profile on this site, as well as alt dot com. They are in the SMBD lifestyle. She thought it rocked that I had a profile here. We've looked at each others profiles. She's invited me to join her friends network, something I'm reluctant to do.

    It has enhanced our working relationship because there is a new trust with each other.

    Guess it depends on the situation. As far as my assistant, it doesn't interfere because I wouldn't wink or email her through her profile, nor she me. Just not each others' type.
Yeah, newaroundhere64, I think that would be where I would draw the line. Too much information would be shared with the "in network" photo sharing, etc., which would make for a very awkward situation. I would feel like he would be "undressing" me with his eyes, if he was linked to being in my network.

It is good that, the mere knowledge of each other being on AdultFriendFinder and freely looking at each other's profiles didn't deter the working relationship at all. I am not too sure that would be more the exception though as well -- especially since, like sassybelle21 mentioned, most don't seem to want the real world to know their sexual side of their lives.


rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
3289 posts
9/3/2006 12:44 pm

    Quoting rm_goldnglory2:
    I'd look at his profile to be sure but I'd never mention it to him.
The problem with that, goldnglory2, is that your profile name pops up when you view his profile (if he checks who views his profiles). At that point in time, he will know (if he recognizes you) that you know.


rm_txrose4uNTX 58F
3289 posts
9/3/2006 12:41 pm

    Quoting sassybelle21:
    I would just keep quiet because I wouldn't want anybody I know in the real world to find out that I'm here
You are right,
. It isn't something that just comes up in conversations with everyday folks. Some folks have mentioned it to me and I have even kept quiet about it because they take it to the extremes and I am not sure that I want to be a part of that extreme lifestyle where they are involved in groups, etc. I simply make a mental note of it just in case I ever get an inkling of going down that road; however, in the meantime, I choose wisely who I mention anything to in the real world, if at all.


DrSpots 60M

9/2/2006 5:49 pm

I would keep it to myself. Mixing personal and business is like asking for a fire, i.m.h.o.


Ana_6973 44F

9/2/2006 5:08 pm

Lol. When I was on Alt, not only was my boss on the site but he was in my network. Course, I helped set up his account so that played a role in it.

As for AdultFriendFinder, I don't think he's on here. And I'd rather not see him here. His wife, my other boss, knows I'm on here. She laughs at me and my hussydom. Course, I work in an adult business so we're a little more free and open here.

Later!
{=}

~~"I can scream as loud as your last one, but I can't claim innocence."~~


rm_goldnglory2 67F

9/2/2006 4:59 pm

I'd look at his profile to be sure but I'd never mention it to him.


sassybelle21 33F  
13313 posts
9/2/2006 4:54 pm

I would just keep quiet because I wouldn't want anybody I know in the real world to find out that I'm here


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