Friday Nite Lites in Vegas  

rm_trulydivyn 54F
98 posts
6/10/2005 10:27 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Friday Nite Lites in Vegas

My place has a beautiful view of the city, well, at least half of the city...so the nites lately have been spent sitting on my balcony watching the dusk turn to darkness, and thinking how similar that action is to my soul...

I'm so tired right now I can't express what I want to in an eloquent fashion, so here it is...

I'm going to visit family this weekend, I'm going to work while I'm there, I'm spreading myself too thin, and wish I had someone in my life that could help me get settled back into the routine that feels right for me!

Good Lord do I miss the intimacy of just sitting on a couch and laughing with a partner/friend/spouse whom feels the same way towards me that I do towards him...I can see it now, and it saddens me that I have to sit with a bunch of pillows instead...or sleep that way!

HOWEVER...as we all know, I've been going thru this for awhile now, seeking and not finding, or if I've found, too damn stupid to recognize it, or my personal favorite, I push it away because of the walls of despair and pain around me...

The poetic ramblings I write when sitting in the twilight and glittering Vegas lights escape me, so I'm taking a break once again to see if I can start the juices flowing again...

I stopped taking my pain meds, and noticed a lot of difference...I'm actually tired! I mean I'm EXHAUSTED tired, and I'm going to bed, praying I will sleep thru the night without incident...I have a very long day ahead of me tomorrow, followed by another on Sunday...yipee...the irony of the events are so exciting...wait, I'm supposed to act like I'm happy to be going...now if I can just remember where I left that emotion in my "I'll try to have fun" goodie bag!


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