Walking contradictions...the ironies  

rm_tlaw781 39M
31 posts
7/7/2006 7:02 pm

Last Read:
7/8/2006 5:02 pm

Walking contradictions...the ironies

Those who know me well laugh with me sometimes because I can be the biggest contradiction.
You see if you offered me a parachute in a small plane and said jump, I'd do it.
If you told me drop the pedal and see if I could hit 200mph I would.
If you said I should try the weirdest nastiest food I'd eat it. Probably with little to no hesistation.
But today when I was at work I was told that I should consider whether I wanted to take a promotion or not. More work lots more money and plenty more responsibility. You would think I would say "bring it on." My reaction in my head was simple. "Fuck ,fuck, fuck fuck ahhhh fuck."
Yep, that simple. Now to me that's a walking contradiction. On one hand I would walk across coals of fire or hike the most unknown territory, but a promotion that would offer me so much with the right work ethic and hard work and I was quote "Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck ahhh fuck."
Been playing on my head ever since and I figured why not blog it. See these blogs can be therapeutic in a way. They let you look at your thoughts and maybe come away with something. For me anyway.
I planned to hike into the mountains and sit by a beautiful lake I know this weekend and try to contemplate this one. Why wouldn't I want a lot more money? Why would more responsibility scare me? What the fuck about this whole thing sent me spinning in an endless wave of thoughts could be's, would be's?
Some say change is good and I think sometimes I like my boat being nice and calm, but I've never gotten anywhere without changing and that first step is always the hardest.
So why not right? Take a chance maybe fail, maybe surprise myself and succeed? I hope I do the best thing.
Any thoughts on this blog are always welcome! My title should be confused in colorado, but I'll leave it at walking contradictions until I find that I'm otherwise.

cuteNEway 42F

7/8/2006 12:56 pm

From someone unemployed..TAKE IT!! its hard to find a living wage let alone a raise...go for it...its just more paperwork...

rm_tlaw781 replies on 7/8/2006 4:39 pm:
Yeah the more I think about it I could always find more reasons to not take it but then I'd probably think i was pussing out. I have till Monday to decide. It's gonna rain all weekend so I think I'll maybe throw back a few brews put on some good tunes and see what comes to me! You unemployed? Wouldn't have guessed!

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