Why do married men cheat?  

rm_tkwswing 52M/51F
471 posts
4/7/2005 8:16 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why do married men cheat?

We got a message from a married guy tonite, even though our profile says we are looking for women or couples...Here is a copy of his message and our response:

His message:

Married guy in Dalton GA looking for occasional fun and friendship. I have attached a pic and have more if interested. If interested in knowing more email me at AdultFriendFinder and give your AdultFriendFinder handle.


Our response:

Thanks for your interest, however...

First, if you read our profile, you'd know we are looking for women or couples, not men.

Second, we certainly will NOT have anything to do with men, or women, who cheat on their spouses. Take care of your issues at home, rather than looking for a fix elsewhere. You should be ashamed. There is no excuse for cheating. Period.

Do not contact us again, plus the dick pics just don't cut it. Send a face pic if you want a good response, but hopefully no one will entertain a man who cheats on his family.



Why do people do this?

1 post
4/7/2005 11:18 pm

The man should have read your profile more closely and not have answered it.

In defense, not all married men are cheaters. My wife and I have been happily married for 15 years. We have a honest and open marriage. There are no lies or secerets between us. There is no cheating with us. We enjoy life to the fullest. My wife and I either swing together or seperately. It helps spice up our love life. Just like you want to spice up yours.

One other thing. Men aren't the only ones who cheat. There are a lot of women who cheat too..

rm_tkwswing 52M/51F
114 posts
4/8/2005 5:56 am

BoobMan62... I won't put this guys handle up, but his profile specifies that he is married, but he wants discreet fun. He has no information on his wife listed. No mention that his wife has any interest in engaging in the same type of activity that he does. That all leads to one conclusion...He's doing it behind her back, and that doesn't fly with us.

As our original message stated, we frown on all cheaters, both male and female.

1 post
4/9/2005 7:10 pm

Why married men cheat? Why do women before marriage, or early in the marriage give their husbands lots of love? Why do they make over him like he is something terrific during these early stages? But, after not too long of a time period afterwards develop headaches, or begin to take him for granted. In other words women put out until they get what they want then they commit fraud. Their lovemaking in the beginning is only a pretense. So, who is to blame? Well, I'll tell you what............a man has a natural desire to couple with a woman. He finds comfort and stability in his wife's arms. But, if he feels rejected too many times he will say, oh, whats the use and go elsewhere. So, who is to blame?

wyvernrose 39F  
3962 posts
4/9/2005 8:11 pm

boob man too right same for us too,

tkwswing the usual reason they do it is because they don't have the nouse to actually up and discuss becoming active in the lifestyle with their partner (honesty and communication issues) or they have done so and are not happy that their partner wouldn't want too! although more often than not its the first reason....

although you will also find many couples in this lifestyle are doing it because they discovered their partners cheating and figured this way at least they werent going behind each others back, which I find as offensive as the afforementioned cheaters....


3 posts
4/11/2005 5:24 am

Good discussion !! OK, here's my observations. I'm a well over 50 and have been swinging as a MWM without spouses approval for over 30 years. I have proposed it to my wife on several occasions and she isn't interested. She's more of "once or tice a week" kind of person, I'm more of the "once or twice a day" kind of person. I have always had a "friend" or two with similar interests and have always confined such activities to the time available. Nothing is ever taken away from the family (or the wife) and we've been married almost 25 years. It's a "don't ask don't tell" kind of thing and in return I'm very very carefull about who I'm with, when, and where. Nothing to endanger the primary relationship, either mine or that of my partner of the moment. I've met some wonderful and very open minded women and couples here and at other sites.
Now, a little about that. There are about as many women "cheaters" here as men, just look at the numbers. In an ideal world people with a healthy sexual appetite would always find each other and live happily ever after. But, love and gets in the way so they find each other in the sanest way possible under the circumstances. Some people say change the status quo, but most don't want to do that; rather "scratch the itch" and live a normal life. I have found from many years of participation and observation that when a woman reaches about 35 years of age many of them go "fucking crazy"... my definition. Maybe a little younger maybe a little older, but approximately 35 years old. A lot of them could get their husbands to swing if the would ask, but don't want to project that image into their relationship. Many husbands are too jealous to even consider their wife with another man, or woman. They will readily meet a MWM for a "no strings" relationship. Of course some are very interested but only want to talk about it, chat, email, etc. Tease but not really do anything. Find a man to pay some attention to them in an intimate and sexual way and maybe, maybe not, actually do anything about it. It's a good arrangement for everyone and doesn't deserve criticism. The swinging world has room for every variation as long as people aren't deliberately taking advantage of one another, no lies, be up front about your particular situation.
On another hand ... I tend to think that couples who seek their "social life" here maybe need to find some conventional interests, in other words, "get a life". Find some "fuck buddies", couples or singles, sure, but when your social life seems to be centered on the swinging then it's gotten excessive. When every social interaction winds you up in bed with a different person then maybe priorities are a little misplaced. Different strokes for different folks, but... this is actually a recreational pursuit, not a "lifestyle" as many are fond of defining themselves.
In closing, I've noticed that many couples who won't consider a MWM as a partner will readily accept a MWF into their bed if the wife is "bi-curious". She meets the "curious" need and the husband always wants to watch. A double standard of sorts exists. If it's a male then he's a "cheater", if it's a female then we can be a little more accepting. If you don't want to be with married men, that's fine, just understand that everyones circumstance is different. Don't judge until you "walk a mile in my shoes".

redswallow777 49M
6811 posts
4/11/2005 1:47 pm

I heartily agree that the guy should have read your profile but I find your outrage very interesting....there are some who would say that swinging is cheating and/or immoral in and of itself. There are those that would say swinging is cheating on your family...period.

I read your profile twice...I see nothing in your profile that states anything about the marital status of your desired playmates. You ask for women or couples. Do you want the women only to be single? What if she is in a committed relationship but not married? And what about couples? Do you only want couples that are married..only couples that are not married?

Whew, I guess you struck a nerve with me. I don't condone married people having sex on the side unless there is an open relationship or an open marriage. In such a case there is generally an agreement to be open with each other about sex outside of the relationship. The brush stroke of your condemnation is very broad.

All I ask is that you take care in who you paint with such a wide brush....that all married men or women are cheaters and are the scum of the earth.

3 posts
4/15/2005 5:47 pm

Ok, when I was young, niave and innocent, I met a guy who was married, but 'we don't sleep together, we haven't had sex for years, I sleep on the sofa, just waiting for the sale of the house' blah blah blah. Of course, I believed him and had a wonderful time, got gifts (guilty conscience i feel) until one day when his wife walked into the pub I worked at with their son. Suddenly all hit home and finished it immediately. Course then had to decided whether to tell her or not, but decided against it in the end.

I really don't understand why men do it. If you meet someone else, to be fair, what can u do about it. You can't help feelings any more than the colour of your hair. But why why why why why put every party involved through all the pain and suffering? If you want to see the other person, leave your partner, or don't see the other person at all.

Of course, if it;s an open relationship, then it's entirely different, but to cheat, i.e. to lie about it to your partner is terrible in my opinion!


4/17/2005 4:41 am

sometimes life has a way of makeing a man seek sex out side the marrage bed.My wife had neck and back surgury 5 years ago and has just gotten back into haveing sex.But it causes her a lot of pain and I don't want to hurt her in anyway,so there fore I seek sex with couples on the side and that way theres no chance of someone wanting more for it then sex.I'm in love with my wife and don't want to lose her just because of someone that thinks theres more to sex than sex.My wife almost always knows before hand what I do before I do anything.She would love to join but can't at the time so that is why I seek sex out side.

rm_affbreak 47M
287 posts
6/24/2005 5:27 pm

Realize a man's body is in need of releasing sperm from time to time.
The way to enjoy this best is with a partner we love. Now think about the second best way! Is it masturbation or finding another partner for occasional meetings? What do you think gets boring over time?

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