Can it be Done?  

rm_titsandtires 53M/42F
2973 posts
3/10/2006 12:17 pm

Last Read:
2/14/2007 11:48 pm

Can it be Done?

A friend of ours, we'll call here Laura, has a small problem. I don't think she realizes it though.

You see, she had a boyfriend back in '03 and after she broke things off with him, she decided that she wasn't going to "give up the goods" until she found "the one". That is, in her ripe old prime of 34 years of age, she has decided that in order to find the perfect male companion, she has to keep her pants on. All the time. No hanky-panky what-so-ever.

No, this in itself isn't the problem I see. The problem comes from the fact that her "perfect man" is one that will be easily manipulated into doing things her way. He has to go where she wants him to go, make time for her when she wants it, be willing to sit through a chick flick if she sees it necessary.... You get the idea. In short, she wants to be in total control. She also wants a guy who has steady employment, a home owner preferably, and yet is attractive, well groomed, all the normal stuff. No neanderthals. She finds guys to go out with all the time. Usually three or four a month. (She's got a profile on more than one web-site) The same thing happens nearly all the time though, and that is that after about two weeks, she starts finding little things wrong with them and/or then they quit calling.

So my question to you is this...

Do you think she will be able to find a guy who fits her criteria and will hang around to let her be in control, or do you think she will have to give up the poo-nanny?

Personally, I think that if she does find a guy who is going to put up with her antics, (I can't understand why anyone would, though) that he's gonna be gettin' some somewhere else. And secondly, I'm a pretty firm believer that a girl who makes you wait for the sex, usually isn't that good in bed. (and they usually don't like sex either.)

Am I right, or am I an idiot?

Fallic40 54M
1858 posts
3/10/2006 4:33 pm

Alright, now that I am done laughing, and all the beer has stopped dripping out my nose...............we can chat, all serious like.

Not a chance in hell....but then again, I know several engineer types who would fit her requirements - they also have the unmentioned "no self esteem" requirement as well.

Perhaps she has standards like this so she will not find anybody. You said she finds reasons to give them the heave and those reasons are for the situation rather than the individual.

rm_titsandtires 53M/42F
3656 posts
3/10/2006 7:25 pm

This is it! Right here above me is my no. 600 comment!!! By the one and only Sensuous Salz!!! WWWWWHHHHHOOOOO HHHHOOOOO!!!!

carebearluv2 43F

3/10/2006 8:46 pm

While she may find someone for awhile, she will probably never find something long term. Sex is more than just physical, it is emotional in a relationship and a key element.

I sabotage myself when it comes to relationship out of fear. I find a small fault in someone and it grows until I make that person undesirable. I am working on letting myself free of that and while it is a hard thing to do, I know to be truly happy I have to do it.

Hopefully, she will come to discover in her own time the way she can have a meaningful, happy relationship is by being happy with herself first. You have to give to get in return.

rm_titsandtires 53M/42F
3656 posts
3/11/2006 12:10 am

Salz, you are a prize. I won you! Give me some time, I'll come up with something for you.

carebear - If I can throw something out there for you to think about... you said "I find a small fault in someone and it grows until I make that person undesirable." Keep this in mind... A relationship is made up of two individuals. Each one of those faults you find is not a fault, but a reminder of the fact that your partner is an individual. An individual with a past, a present, and a future. Just as yourself. It's part of what makes the whole thing work. The faults are just that - faults.


rm_titsandtires 53M/42F
3656 posts
3/11/2006 9:39 am

Thank you kitten! - you've confirmed my belief! She is looking for a macho man, and she is shit out of luck!

But I forgot to share the funniest part with everyone... The longer she goes without sex, the more and more stupid/bitchy/psychotic/annoying she gets. The best way I can describe it would be to imagine a heavy smoker who has just gone four hours through an intense job interview and when they came out to their car, they had smokes, but couldn't find a lighter.


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