A Sombre Interjection  

rm_thepav 48M
127 posts
6/20/2006 5:55 pm

Last Read:
8/11/2006 5:34 pm

A Sombre Interjection

Often we as humans define ourselves by what it is that we do, what we dream, or what we aspire to be.

Everyone has roots. They keep us grounded or even safe. The paradox is that those roots, the very safety and acceptance we crave can become a cage. And when one finds oneself within a cage... when that realization hits, that all dreams will never come to pass, and shiny gilding is really a prison what then?

What if you found within yourself the strength to fly? To fly away, be free and pursue all that was beyond your short grasp?

It's a beautiful thought, but as with all things, life is never so simple and every light must cast a shadow. It is the funamental duality of existance. Thus I am reminded of my own life.

Once, long ago, I realized I was the prisoner, and I flew, flew as far as my then stunted wings would carry me. I found beauty, myself, and finally, went after my dreams. Only now, in hindsight do I realize that it was at great cost, but not to me, to those I left behind.

I sit here, struggling with these thoughts, and what they may mean. For the ghosts of the past have finally caught up and somehow, I knew they always would. Would I have given up myself and happiness to fill expectations of those who perhaps were not true to their own lives, and because of this were grasping hands holding the world down to the ground?

I ponder and think no.. but is that selfish? After all, how can I live the lives of others for them and fufill thier wishes?

So I pass through this shadow and hope that it will be brief and perhaps hope that some understanding or even some forgiveness may be found there.

Fox4aKnight1 44F

6/20/2006 7:44 pm

You say the word selfish like it is a bad thing. Trust me it isn't. I am selfish on things because I have to be. I was remarkably unselfish when i was younger and got run over by what everyone else wanted that I became quite unhappy. I did nothing for myself that I really wanted to do. I was the wholesome daughter and girlfriend and I did lots of stuff right. I tore me up because it wasn't what I wanted to do. I feel much better now, I am still selfish, however I also make allowences for people that need or want soemthing from me. And people I care for as well.

"How can I help anyone else when I can't even help myself?"

JustaSeeker 107F

6/20/2006 7:44 pm

This is the paradox that we all face when we pursue our own unique destiny. I hope that you can find acceptance from the other people in your life...it's hard to live without that, no matter how much you love or believe in what you're doing.

aascrompn 43M
6444 posts
6/20/2006 9:26 pm

You only grow if those around you grow... Esentially, you are what your friends are, etc... You've heard it before, for that I'm sure, but you must realize that if your friends didn't want to grow with you, then that was their decision.

I feel that it really suxks leaving friends behind, but over the last two years, my circle of friends encompass those that are driven. Some are driven by money, some by solid careers, some by relationships. The point is, I'm surrounding myself w/ people that all have some kind of vision. I can't regreat those I left behind which were dragging me down.

Great post!

rm_mm0206 70F
7767 posts
6/21/2006 7:46 am

Soul searching .......
it is healthy...
and at times being selfish is merely self protection.
if you were throwing those others to the wayside for material gains
or using them as stepping stones...
I would say rewind and do some needed relationship repairs.

but self preservation at what ever costs is necessary at times to protect the visions and goals in your heart
Family and friends sometime can be possessive thinking you are there only for doing...
being ...
and giving what they want...
for them only.

Let them know you still care...
but resisit being pulled back into the whirlpool.
be strong but gentle.
It sounds like you have passed the test and scored highly.


rm_sharksnsails 47M
738 posts
6/21/2006 6:58 pm

Good post./

ps the art work is good too.

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