The Lesson  

rm_tennismaiden 61F
2103 posts
6/20/2006 5:22 pm

Last Read:
3/6/2008 7:17 am

The Lesson

In a 24 hour period I've gone from extreme sadness blasting the universe to joy and thanking again the universe for being alive. Is there a lesson here?

The emotions felt are doing somersaults any given moment up...down, inside out, confused, clear then concise. I've been wracking my head finding the lesson for why our dear Brian had passed. There is a lesson here...born from grief comes great humility, compassion and faith.But not the big lesson, my lesson, personal lesson given to me from Brian upon his departure physically.

Brian was one of the few men I corresponded with that really hit the nail on the head, oh he softened the hammer with a chamois suede cloth but he was abundantly clear in his message.


Only then can you give and receive the happiness you seek. Be strong, courageous, victorious know your path from which you've been to where you must end. Do this without trepidation, fear or loathing. Hold steadfast to pain, let the solitude surround your soul and feel the message it sends.

I've been re-accessing my purpose today, especially in regards to relationships and love. Brian taught me to look into the mirror and believe that what stared back was supremely beautiful. Worth every bit of what I claim to be and hold dear to my heart. Too many compromises have been made in my past and though the task was difficult I could conquer my insecurities.

This theme was so strong for me today, I teetered from sobbing every time I saw his number in my cell to smiling when commenting to someone about his words. Occasionally there was laughter thrown in and I added to the conversation "Brian would have chuckled at that statement" He loved humor mixed with innuendo. At one point someone pointed out he must be listening and I thought...*he probably is* But then I realized maybe his spirit was with Tiller or his family for the time being they need him more than I did. Certainly I had no right to keep his spirit close, I was just a friend, another person to pass the lonely Friday/Saturday nights we so often shared.

The lesson

In having faith that all people are given to us as gifts, delivering messages of love and hope I thought how I must take this precious gift and honor Brian with my vow.

To take control of my life, not settle for anything other than what I deserve, make no compromises, and for sure not give myself so freely to those who do not cherish every speck of my soul and being. For months he stood by, listened, validated me, pushed me a bit and opened my eyes to another way of seeing life.

How can I best honor this man for the time he gave unselfishly? By honoring myself and those I choose to share it with from this day forward. His gift will not go in vain, it will be carried tenderly and purposely for as long as it takes for me to get it right.

This was "the lesson" from Brian and with gratitude and love I honor him and the wisdom he gave....I honor myself!

rm_mtnravyn 61M
890 posts
6/20/2006 6:11 pm

I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.
Alice Walker (from The Color Purple I think)

In spirit there is no when and no where so the presence can be omnipresent and every when. And in spirit relationships do not end, they just shift form, even past death. So honor self, honor the lesson, and honor your ability to be as expansive and incredible as you can be.

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/22/2006 3:45 am:
You are a pillar of strength each quote is another penny in the jar of saving for a rainy day. When the sun does finally shine I will have many riches to pull from, life experiences so deep they bring a dowry full of life.

Thank you my friend for the energies you send me...{=}

rm_anacortes 75M
2850 posts
6/20/2006 7:57 pm


Dear Goddess

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/22/2006 3:51 am: dear friend! {=}

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
6/20/2006 9:02 pm

Wow! This was a great post! Thanks you.

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/22/2006 3:52 am:
Thank you for taking the time to read it! Hoping all is well with you and everyday is a celebration!

HeardLankaMalls 56M
2925 posts
6/21/2006 12:20 pm

Very nice post TM, and great sentiments. You will do him well

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/22/2006 3:54 am:
Funny you should say that Cor....I should have done him two months ago when I had the chance to physically touch him, if only....but I am grateful for the lesson he bestowed.....priceless!

HeardLankaMalls 56M
2925 posts
6/22/2006 5:13 am

Life is full of coulda shoulda woulda's TM, as you probably are well aware. We tend as humans to dwell on those things we perceive as being better than our current situations, rather than grasping those things right in front of us at the time they occur. I'm sure the lesson he bestowed will always rest with you. And it will be a gift that you can always refer to in the future.

Hugs, C

Lovin_U_4_Fun 55F

6/24/2006 2:28 am

Very well said. Thank you for sharing your thoughts of this lesson. I wonder why I am captivated by Blogville, and this is why! People sharing their life lessons and being there for each other as the lessons are being learned. I hope to forge such friendships here!

wickedeasy 68F  
31321 posts
6/24/2006 10:40 am

smiles - brilliantly said

You cannot conceive the many without the one.

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