Lost and Found...my Orgasm  

rm_tennismaiden 61F
2103 posts
6/25/2006 7:29 pm

Last Read:
3/6/2008 7:19 am

Lost and Found...my Orgasm

Being a woman of almost 50 (yikes) there have been some bumps in my road to climactic bliss. Those of you who have been with me from the beginning remember my lamenting over having to be jackhammered into orgasm some months ago. I was so sad at not being able to throughly enjoy myself, to explode with pleasure while being in the company of someone I connect with is an extraordinary feat.

This is a serious topic, so for those of you who shy away from such discussions you should "CLICK" now and promptly vanish from my blog.

I have had a battle going on with my brain chemistry for many years, hereditary no doubt, my mother is a complete loon at times and more up tight than a fully twisted coil. I inherited this irregularity from her, not really her fault as she then got it from here Mom or Dad. I was diagnosed with Panic/Anxiety disorder, add to that some depression and serious insomnia and you have a recipe for some serious drug shit going into your system to stabilize your head.

For the most part this disease peeked right after giving birth to my youngest son and then got under control with the ensuing years that followed. To combat such a battle there are very aggressive remedies one must undergo to win this fight over mental illness. Medications, cognitive behavioral therapy, intensive psychological therapy (years of)and a tremendous amount of guts. BUT this battle can be one, as I have done so for many many years.

In the course of time this illness can manifest itself in many different forms as it changes with your hormones and body chemistry with aging. The one constant that consumes me is the underlying dysthemia (mild depression) that remains. I've tried cutting out medication and going without but I usually must come back and get regulated again for all my neuro-receptors to work.

Over one year ago I noticed my metabolism was slowing, I began gaining weight, and no matter how many minutes or hours of cardio at the gym I was rapidly adding what should have been lost pounds. I began weening myself off the "then" medication that acts as a tranquilizer helping me sleep soundly. As this was occurring I began noticing loss of sensation in my clitoris and the ability to achieve orgasm next to impossible. Silly me, I thought this was mostly due to psychological reasons ( trust with my partner etc)But soon learned through much desperation that nothing was helping my orgasm to return.

I took myself off the blood pressure medication, off cholesterol meds, tested for thyroid bingo...some answers and remedies. Began new meds with thyroid started loosing weight again. BUT the BIG O still was not right. My doc had suggested I begin taking anti-depressants and put me on Welbutrin. Never in a million years would I have guessed a person could loose all desire and sensitivity due to mild depression.

I can happily report that at this time I am regaining my overwhelming and sometimes insatiable desire for sex, climax, sucking cock and any other nasty bad girl whorish behaviors. OMG...I was better off not having these feelings...at least then I didn't miss what I wasn't having! Now all I do is masturbate! In the shower on the bathroom tile, in my bed...soon I'll be pulling over on the Garden State Parkway, you'll see a lusty drooling tennismaiden with the most wicked look in her eyes as she's got hands down her pants pulling off yet another big one!

Now mind you....depression is treatable not all meds work for all people and you must keep searching for just the right concoction. Guys/gals...if you think your partner might have this dilemma talk to them and see if they too can get the help necessary to bring back what should be rightfully theirs. PLEASURE!

A note: Depression is a chemical imbalance of the brain. The disease is no different than a physical ailment that doesn't have a stigma attached to it. Depression is real, can go masked and covered for many many years. Do yourself and those that you love a favor, help them heal themselves and find joy in loving and being loved again.

Happy Orgasms my friends! TM

libgemOH 57M/54F

6/25/2006 8:02 pm

"soon I'll be pulling over on the Garden State Parkway, you'll see a lusty drooling tennismaiden with the most wicked look in her eyes as she's got hands down her pants pulling off yet another big one!"

Now that is a sight I would LOVE to see!!!

Happy Orgasms to you dear one!! -B

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 5:35 pm:
Maybe if you're a good little girl you'll get to watch me someday! *wicked grin*

rm_anacortes 76M
2850 posts
6/25/2006 9:01 pm

Thanks for sharing about one of the illnesses WE DON'T USUALLY TALK ABOUT.. have you noticed that?

A number of years ago, trying to deal with an alcoholic wife, I became depressed (fairly classic)..bottom line was the med's killed my libido..

Thanks for sharing about your "situation".. Wellbutrin also helped me..,

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 5:47 pm:
And why don't we discuss this? Half the American population has depression, could be causing most if not all the divorces and addictive behaviors.

Glad you got to the route of your issues and found a solution!

Nightguy_1961 56M
4866 posts
6/25/2006 9:53 pm


My compliments for sharing something that a lot of people (myself included) suffer from in relative silence...clinical depression.

Yes, it can be treated in a variety of ways...I tend to watch my diet and deal with it on a day to day basis...without medication, like I used to do. The drugs did have a bit of a negative effect on me, but when my second wife (the main source of my depression) left, I weaned myself off the meds...and now, I have taught myself to recognize when a 'downturn' is coming on and I deal with it, just like a boat riding out a storm. My lady is very supportive during these times, and has learned how to help me when the blues have me in their grip.

On a less serious note, ...if I were to see you sitting on the side of the road 'taking care of business', all I would do was to tap on the window and calmly ask (with a straight face), "Can I give you a hand with that, ma'am?"

Great post, TM

NG61...slipping back into the darkness...

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 6:41 pm:
I'm sure I'm not the first to open this discussion but very glad that so many can relate to these obstacles. I wish I had the power to control my mood swings by diet exercise and cognizant recognition. I was doing that (or so I thought) but when my other issues surfaced I couldn't deny them any longer. Loosing such an integral part of me had to be resolved with medication, and I'll probably need it for years to come.

I would be thrilled to see you pull up beside me on the Jersey Parkway and there would be no mistaking that face as NightGuy from AdultFriendFinder, I'd turn, smile, then open the door and invite you in. Would you be wearing a rose on your lapel?

rm_silly153 65M/61F
26 posts
6/26/2006 4:10 am

Gee Wizz lil' lady, with all of those stored up orgasms that need release, some lucky boy better make sure that he has a current physical. The foreplay alone could require a Surgeon General Warning.

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 6:49 pm:
I will make sure to have the warning label tattooed to my buttock Silly. That way there will be no surprises!

HeardLankaMalls 56M
2925 posts
6/26/2006 5:06 am

Glad you found your "O" again TM...

May they continue to be plentiful, fullfilling, and multiple

Hugs & kisses C

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 6:49 pm:
OooooAhhhh....do it again! Thanks sweetie!

HeardLankaMalls 56M
2925 posts
6/26/2006 5:08 am

PS...I'll keep my eye out for any stopped cars with beautiful blondes in them if I happen to journey down the Parkway

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 6:51 pm:
ONe of these days Cor we will run into each other...perhaps just in case we should get our alibi's straight. Are we old college buddies? Or was I the girl next door to where you lived...?

TheRealThing655 50F
9558 posts
6/26/2006 6:10 am

Hooray for you...and thanks for sharing your story. I also take medication for depression...it's made a huge difference. The key is finding the drug that works for you.....
I have heard many good things about Wellbutrin....so happy you're able to feel like the fabulous woman you are!!

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 6:55 pm:
The meds game is hit or miss, so many become discouraged at the failure of the first and only they try. Many need to know it takes persistence to want to heal from this.

I had some meds that had terrible side effects and I had to stop taking them and others that were a God send and gave me back my life.

Woo Hoo...yay to the big O! Don't want that to go missing ever again!

WayneMarie4girl 47M/39F

6/26/2006 10:02 am

Better to have found than lost right?

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 6:56 pm:
Yeah, along with all those mis-matched socks from the clothes dryer! Where do those go anyway?

rm_kelli4u2dew 42F
5220 posts
6/26/2006 5:12 pm

There was something in the local paper this morning about increased libido often being a side effect of Wellbutrin. Said it was well documented but they don't know why.

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 7:02 pm:
I've never heard that before Kelli, but I'll take the results and enjoy the theory. I'm sure it had something to do with stimulating the right receptors to release more serotonin. Ahhh what am I talking about...I'm not a scientist I'm just full of it! lol

Either way it works and that's all that matters!

libgemOH 57M/54F

6/26/2006 6:50 pm

I'll be a good little girl! I promise!!! *equally wicked grin* -B

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/26/2006 7:04 pm:
Oh...I'm sure you will *slurp, lick, tongue* Yummy! {=}

HeardLankaMalls 56M
2925 posts
6/27/2006 4:38 am

I like the "college buddies" aspect personally TM. Of course, then we have to agree on which college

That could then explain our having a drink or two also

Hugs & kisses, C

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/27/2006 3:56 pm:
Well Cor I went to Manhattan School of music and being your not a musician we'll have to use your Alma Mater...and that would be which school?

WhyUseBOB 61M
14 posts
6/28/2006 2:05 pm

This is your orgasm speaking: LOL

I am lost and looking for myself...if you should find me while I'm gone....PLEASE have me wait...I'll be back.
(excerpts from my answering machine voice message) LOL

OR... you could try calling my cellphone hahahaha


rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/29/2006 5:50 pm:
Got to give it to ya...very creative! You get 10 points!!!!


6/29/2006 4:39 pm

TennisMaiden I am sure happy for you that you have been stong enough all your life to combat the problems you speak of. From experience I know that there are people who will always deny that they have a problem even when the evidence is overwhelming, and refuse any suggestion that they obtain treatment or even counsuling. You are to be commended for your willingness to know yourself!

"Now mind you....depression is treatable not all meds work for all people and you must keep searching for just the right concoction. Guys/gals...if you think your partner might have this dilemma talk to them and see if they too can get the help necessary to bring back what should be rightfully theirs. PLEASURE!"

If only it were that easy, I would not be on this site today. When you combine those problems with an overwhelming compulsion to never admit to having ANY problems, it is fatal to marriage.

Congratulations and enjoy your O's

rm_tennismaiden replies on 6/29/2006 5:58 pm:
Russ I know the struggle you speak of. "You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink". MOst live in total and complete denial and make the rest of our lives miserable trying to love them. trust me I lived with a narcissist my whole life.

I know a very very intelligent man in the medical field who has cyclothemia (mild bi-polar) and he refuses to take medication. I've been afraid many times that he has thoughts of suicide. I would suspect this has everything to do with sexual dysfunction and medication, but if he's so depressed, he's not having sex anyway...how ironic...and stupid!

8337 posts
6/30/2006 8:21 pm

I'm amazed that more people on heavy cocktails of psychiatric drugs don't have a total lack of libido.

SSRI's are notorious for affecting the metabolism and killing sexual desire. I have seen what Zoloft does to a regular male. It kills aggression and the sex drive. Mike Tyson was on Zoloft when he suffered some of his worst KO losses. He simply didn't have his typical aggression or ability to focus.

Hopefully, there will be a way to work around this in the future, a different class of drugs, perhaps.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

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