Bursting breastess-es  

rm_tennismaiden 61F
2103 posts
3/4/2006 6:24 am

Last Read:
3/6/2008 6:20 am

Bursting breastess-es

As many of you know I’ve been struggling back to health these past few weeks. I think I’m feeling better, certainly have more energy and slowly getting things done. But now that I’m on different meds that should balance my womanly ways I’m feeling a bit like a 21 year old. My hormones are raging.... and I think the non-existent menstrual cycle is about to make a comeback in ms. Tennismaiden.

My goodness there is a hefty price to pay for keeping one’s libido...the dreaded “period” Ok...I know...TO MUCH INFORMATION! My breasts feel like they’re gonna EXPLODE and the water retention is a bitch! I’ve gained 7 pounds in three weeks and despite my regular attendance to the gym I’m not LOOSING a flipping thing! I know... be patient my dear,all in good time.

I’ve not felt much like blogging lately, there was too much of life that was passing my by and a deadline to sew for my partner. Now that job is finished I thought I would check in with everyone and say hello. Now on to a different topic....

Last night at around 9 PM I got a fretful call from my sister, she was sobbing hysterically and repeating over and over “ I don’t know how much more of this I can take”! My sister is my best and dearest friend, I love her with all my heart and hearing her lament, very painful. She is married (but of course) and has stuck out a 24-year long haul that should have ended too many years ago. She has 4 incredible children that are as close to my own as any Aunt would be blessed to have them in her life and when any drama unfolds...I’m there!

Since my own divorce many conversations with my sister has been to open her eyes a bit and take ownership in what has been a difficult relationship to a somewhat difficult man. Her husband has many good qualities, an incredible provider, father and businessperson. But man the sheer stubbornness and entitled nature of his strong and bi-polar personality impossible to co-exist with for so many years. She has been worn to a nub, frazzled and lost within her own realm. I recognize this, as I too became a woman very much the same for the years of my marriage.

I felt helpless on the phone last night suggesting that the only relief would be counseling and taking a stance. Not that I believe this marriage will ever survive...Hell no! But it is the first step towards dissolution and one that must be done to thwart the complicated process of disassociation with your spouse. I’m sure most of you are cringing as you read this as the process can bring back a host of unfavorable memories.

I told her to take something that would calm her down and permit a good nights sleep. As if that could ever occur when you’re living in the DMZ of marital discord.

My question this morning and topic for thought…..looking back at your own relationships (marriage) what was the defining moment for you? When did you first realize that divorce was imminent within your own situation...and once your mind was made up did you at any point feel you could reconcile with your spouse?

angelofmercy5 60F
17881 posts
3/4/2006 7:34 am

I can't answer this right now....I am living it in many ways.

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
3/4/2006 7:37 am

First I am glad you are feeling better, and maybe you are not losing because you are gaining more muscle mass. Could be.

When I realized that my love had changed to contempt. There is no coming back from that. There is only so much you can take.

blkftd 44M

3/4/2006 7:56 am

Interesting topic. For me, it was the moment that I just decided that I had had enough. I was in an argument with my ex, and had blown up(like I had become accustomed to doing at that point) and yelled and ranted and raved. It was in that instance that I said to myself "this really isn't worth it anymore" and that I was sorry to god for what I knew I needed to do. I felt like such a failure because I knew I had done soo many things wrong and I tried and was going to try to make up for them to myself and to her if I was allowed to do so. But it was at this moment that I realized that my destiny was along another path. One in which the woman that I had spent 11 years of the 30 of my life, would not be with me on. After that, my mind was made up. I had no desire to reconcile and the process of really thinking about what the marriage was kicked in. I really began to dislike myself for what I had allowed myself to become and also my "now" exwife for the things that she had done to me(and in contrast, I am sure she felt the same since she vocalized a few times that I had done alot to her). I at that point just focused on self and a year later, now I cannot believe how far I have come. It still hurts at different points, but for the most part, I love being a divorcee. Not quite like when I was a youngster and single, but better in many, many ways.

I am sorry, but just had to chime in on this one. LOL


HeardLankaMalls 56M
2925 posts
3/4/2006 8:00 am

I think the lack of communication and affection affects a relationship the most. I haven't reached the imminent point yet (why I don't know), but am completely frustrated. Relationships are full of give and take. If one partner takes more then they give, how should the other feel but neglected/rejected. Everything takes work of course, and there are two sides to every story. But a horse is a horse, and that 2x4 between the eyes does hurt.


rm_mtnravyn 61M
890 posts
3/4/2006 8:03 am

Mine was mutual agreement. There was no real defining moment. Our interests shifted away. We are still friends and I value that. Sadly, I do not believe anyone can force an epiphany int his area. There is a saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." The caveat is that you can make it thirsty. Keep talking about the postives of where you are and sharing about those on here (anonymously of course) who also are having postiive experiences adn make her thristy.

rm_ruredyforme2 54M
2 posts
3/4/2006 8:03 am

My name is Jay I am new on this site as a matter of fact new at this stuff totally. But am not new regarding your statement, which by the way you wrote well with understanding,sincers interest and compassion! After 10 years of marriage I always in my heart thougtht or wanted to think "this is it" we will be together till the day we die, just as the priest say's in the vows! This time (my 2nd) was it, for good for real and forever, now I am living in an Inn just South of Portland,Maine in a little town about 200' from the beach while my X-wife and 2 beautiful daughters live in our house in Europe (belgium in particular). After our first daughter was born we seemed to get along OK, did things communicated a lot and were open towards each other and when our daughter was about 2 1/2 we talked about the possibility of a second to our family, I thought yes, i love babies and being a father and all that it entails! Right after that we started to talk less and just watch tv and since i worked two jobs then and got home late I started sleeping up in the loft as to not wake her when i came home, well this was the beginning of the end. I never saw it as anything but being considerate to her, but we did not have sex anymore either, i mean for months! One day a few moths later after putting my suit on my daughter was already at pre-school so I walked out into the front room and my wife was lying on the couch naked telling me "take those clothes off noW" I thought cool, a little fun and maybe things aren't so bad after all. Well, as we started to make love she was very anxious for me to cum and usually of course we both want to go a while so I can get her off at least two or three times before I do, no this time. I thought maybe she knew I had to go to work and thought na that is not it. Then she said" we talked about another baby and I am ovulating big time right now, so we have to", well I did but emotionally I felt like a sperm bank and could not wait to get dressed and leave. My heart was dashed by that, to me a married couple should sleep together period and should make love when you are in the mood both od you whenever. And not when "ovulation" is happening and that is it! I felt hurt and my love was going away quuick for a woman for the first two years that could do nothing but talk about me and could not get enough of me. This was the end coming up, to make a ong story short her gandma died in Belgium (we were in Denver then) and we moved there with the understanding that if I did not like it we owuld move back we even mentioned Montana as a good possibility. Well that was over 4 years ago, back to that morning, she was ovulating, and 9 months later we had a beautiful baby daughter. Of course I love them both with all my heart and always will, but miss them terribly now as they are only 5 & 9. After the lsat few years of barely talking to one another last June I told her I am gpoing to MIssouri to visit family, and then somewhere to work since I never mastered the French language you don't have a chance of work in Belgium. Plus we did not getalong anyway it seemed. WHen I flew over there for Xmas we did not say thirty words to each other all she wants from me is money! So anyway after 2 weeks in Missouri I bought a car and drove to Maine and here I sit. I am trying to work from my computer to make a living and have done OK from time to time but am lonely. I will be going to Soain next week for business and am e-mailing a ew very pretty smart women in Russia now and who knows what may happen in the future. I just wanted to tell my story after reading the one above written by the very attractive tennismaiden. Thanks for letting me share and take good care if you want to chat AdultFriendFinder

2TimesFirst 59M
117 posts
3/4/2006 8:06 am

I knew it was going to be hard from the time she told me she was pregnant. She was in love, I wasn't. She is materialistic, I'm not. I tried my best for five yrs. The defining moment came a year before our divorce when I started HEARING what other people were telling me. I feel for you both and hope she starts to hear soon. It's not as spooky as it seems. By the way I got custody. I think he interfeired with her goals and was just a tool.

rm_FreeLove999 48F
16127 posts
3/4/2006 8:20 am

hmmm... my husband and i did discuss divorce at one point, but decided that for the time being an open relationship would work better for us. our sex life is not working, but everything else does (ok, we have a spats, but nothing serious). i am a bit concerned that being married might be preventing me from finding someone new who doesn't want to become entangled in the complexities of my relationship with my husband... but *sigh* we do love each other, like best friends, we like spending time together with our daughter and we get on well as housemates. so... I don't think any defining moment has happened yet. it's kind of hard for me to consider breaking a promise, and i did make a promise in marrying him.

[blog freelove999]

MarinadelMar 60F

3/4/2006 3:10 pm

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit low as hormones crank themselves up again, tennismaiden *hugs*

I can't answer your question though. Having been happily married for 27 years and never even considered divorce at any time, it's not an experience I've ever had.

rm_anacortes 75M
2850 posts
3/4/2006 7:13 pm

Nope, I knew it was broke after 10 or 15 years yet I did not want the pain of a divorce.. I just simply "did my thing"..she became "hopeless".

Now she is gone by her filing against me..we are both now paying the lawyers rather than worrying who would spend the household money first. heheheh

_Safira 55F
11260 posts
3/5/2006 4:39 am

Oh the death knell ... I remember it vividly, but it still took years for the final curtain call:

"I will never love you as much as I love the children ... ever."

I would never take away anything from my sons, especially a parent's love. But in reality, they grow-up, move on, develop their own lives that YOU have helped guide them towards.

If a husband and a wife cannot work on their relationship being the strongest, being SUSTAINABLE ... where will that lead them after the children are gone?

It left me husbandless ... and I'm still wondering if I should feel regret.



P.S. Six weeks, Baby ... Five more to go! *massive hugs*

This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.


rm_PurryKitty2 49M/51F
9753 posts
3/5/2006 5:14 am

I am glad you are feeling better.

I will have to think about your question and come back to reply. I have only had one cup of coffee

Purry {=}


velvet_tongue_4u 71M

3/6/2006 5:12 am

You're quicky one liners can't be competed with ! You stir up my hormones while making me chuckle . LUV YA !

rm_corezon 54F
3376 posts
3/6/2006 9:57 am

The evening my ex came home angry and drunk over an imagined slight and held me in a rocking chair for 3 hours with a loaded rifle, business end in his mouth trying to force my finger on the trigger.

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