Relationships: Meaningful Love or Rammage?  

rm_talldarkavg1 107M
15586 posts
9/27/2005 6:25 am
Relationships: Meaningful Love or Rammage?

First off, thank you all for the kind words and well wishes. I am mending and feel pretty good. Then again, after such injections you always do.

Thought today maybe we'd take a look at relationships. What we want out of one and what we're willing to put into one. Lopsided love never works. It really is a give and take proposition. LOL, often you give your all, and take crap. Let's start with position.

By position I'm not addressing the advanced Kama Sutra position where you need to be double-jointed, need a pulley and 40 feet of rope, need 7 tubes of KY and a crosseyed monkey. Rather, it's your position. What do you truly want? No matter what anyone may say, sex is still an extremely significant part of a relationship. But how significant?

Do you want love as well? Is it the ideal blend of both? I think most people are seeking basically the same thing. We want a person that makes our heart skip a beat everytime they look into our eyes. We want to feel faint and have butterflies with every kiss. And we want to visit a place we've never been with each and every physical contact. We want a partner. Not a dependant, but someone we know truly picks up our weaknesses and gives us strength in the process.

Is there a greater feeling than lying in the arms of the right person and doing nothing more than looking at the sky. Hearing them breathe, feeling their heart beat, and bathing in their embrace? Is this person even out there? With so many people on the planet...they must be.

What are we willing to sacrifice to obtain this person? Are we willing to travel? Are we willing to challenge our own beliefs in what we want? Maybe.

I think as we age we become more adaptable. In our earlier development we tend to think with the southern half of our body. As we age, the thinking seems to move north. An odd thing happens as the thinking journey's northward, we change our definition of our needs. We look for qualities in the northern half of others. We grow up a bit maybe.

For women it's different. Ask a woman what she thinks and she'll likely tell you what she's feeling. Ask a man what he feels and he'll likely tell you what he's thinking. This isn't new. Maybe what is new is how we process that information. As we age, we shift priorities. Women have different needs than a man. Or do they?

As we age we tend to dislike the games of youth. We identify when we're being mislead much faster and we become much better at identifying those who mislead even before a relationship begins. In the early years, both sexes play the conquest game. We may focus on quantity rather than quality. How many can I have on the line at once? This game is played by both sexes. Perhaps men more often. We forget...every person has a heart.

As we age, we look for quality. Integrity and honesty become not only words we use when answering questions about what we want...but qualities we actually demand. We truly understand just how fragile the human heart really is. Curious we age, it is usually our heart that talks to another heart. I think I like aging.

[blog talldarkavg1]

rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
9/27/2005 7:35 am


You've had me wiping away tears before, but not for the same reasons.
Hugs Sweetheart, feel better.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

JJKittyKat 60F

9/27/2005 7:44 am

oh that has made me feel all wistful....

DirtyLilSecret61 57F

9/27/2005 7:48 am


This was absolutely beautiful. I agree wholeheartedly with everything here (except perhaps the crosseyed monkey) and I couldn't have said it any better - thank you thank you thank you.


rm_dandth 49M/40F
173 posts
9/27/2005 8:20 am

...even if our cinnamon lube and sex ferret were taken from us, we like to think our deep connection would still exist.... the ferret is just whip topping on a damn good brownie to begin with...

rm_saintlianna 46F
15466 posts
9/27/2005 8:43 am

I like cross eyed monkeys. I like getting older too, it puts everything into perspective.

rm_luke69iner 49M
3275 posts
9/27/2005 9:15 am

One of your best posts Pop's ... thanks for writing it

that stuff they injected you with must be good

take care of yourself

i agree with Saintli ... cross eyed monkeys are cute and I like getting older too

S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo

keithcancook 61M
18138 posts
9/27/2005 9:33 am


I never realized that you had a serious side. Must be my age.

kyplowboy2 63M

9/27/2005 10:06 am

All I can say is "Uhhuh".

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
9/27/2005 10:07 am

I read this post at about 4:30 AM (see ROCK A BYE MY BABY ha) and there are so many things that I want to say that I am unable to comment unless I can whittle my two cents' worth down to something less than a 1,000 word dissertation.

I will, however, leave you with a lyric from the only song with words from Richard Elliot's The Chill Factor CD:
"They say that love is blind. And I reply: Real love is 20-20; I'll bet ya any money."
Had a minor epiphany on that line. Epiphany was mostly age driven, btw.

I'll go work on my whittling now.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_mtnravyn 61M
890 posts
9/27/2005 10:32 am

TDA There was a study about fifteen years ago that said after the age of thirty, people averaged three hundred hours having sex. When you consider that there are 8,790 hours in a year, that is less than 4% of the year. Of course that does not include all the time thinking or talking about it. Maybe if we just set aside two weeks (336 hrs) of the year for the sex the other 50 weeks could really focus on the northern half and create some incredibly intimate relationships. And yes I intended the plural. We all need more than one person with whom we are northern half intimate. And some need more than one ofr the southern as well. LOL

Theflinkychick 107F

9/27/2005 3:36 pm

You took the words right out of my mouth, TallDark... well, I wasn't going to talk about the monkey...

I thought that my logic was flawed when I found myself a member of an adult site looking for my best friend and "soul mate" but the longer I am a member the more I have begun to understand that there is a large percentage of those members who have begun the mellowing process that comes with crossing 40 who have wandered in here for the same purpose.

Good on you for this post!

Not all who wander are lost.

dano6332 57M

9/27/2005 3:40 pm

Tall that was awesome dude. What sort of drugs are you on now?

That was one of your best posts, in my humble opinion, and you definitely summed up the mans side very well. Contrary to popular belief YES we want love and sex with the same person.....

rm_1hotwahine 64F
21091 posts
9/27/2005 8:21 pm

Okay, been thinking about it and will limit myself to two ramblings

Favorite part : next to the last paragraph about easier to identify 'misleading' stuff as we age. Yes, really, and I never thought of that. It's like watching a movie and realizing it's a remake of one you've already seen. "Oh, yeah...I know what happens next!" I dig that. Thanks.

Part most skeptical about: 5th paragraph, rhapsodizing poetic stuff. (I'm gonna come across as SO jaded, but I'm not really) I get that this is just a point in the northerly progression, but...what I've seen (not just in my life but around me) is that many men have a romantic attention span of about 5, maybe 7 years at the max. And that's when things get weird. Not absolutely unfixable, but pretty dicey. If I'm wrong, I offer humble apologies.

Your comment re: honesty reminds me of tangent that I frequently go off on about openness vs. honesty (got to pick one as higher priority; can't always have both at once) but I'll table that for a future blog.

Thank you. Good stuff. Here's a wing

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

9/27/2005 9:20 pm

No need to say anything,you've said it all


106 posts
9/28/2005 5:44 am

Wilst I agree with many of the things you said I resent growing old ,as a matter of fact I don't like it one little bit. There is little to be said about getting old and feeble that I like but for the time being I will just hang in there and pretend that i and Young and as full of energy as the wonderfull young woman who has recently come into my life. As a matter of fact when I think about it ,It's not so bad being 53 years old and having a 34 year old lovely woman on my arm when i walk down the street or go into the local tavern and getting all of those nasty looks from younger men and jelous glares from older one's . OK mabye I like getting older to .Now lets see how many years till I'm dead .


9/28/2005 10:26 pm

Your sense of humor is everything a sense of humor should be , but I do so love it when you go to the serious side every once in awhile.Some of us maybe getting older ,but that still does not stop the longings of the heart.The heart can be broken and gun shy , but the longing for those special moments that love can bring still seep through.

truckerwidow 47F
35 posts
10/2/2005 9:43 am

All I can say is "wow". You sum everything up beautifully and yes, the older I get, the more those things are important to me...

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