Just How Much Of Us Is The Result Of Another's Influence?  

rm_talldarkavg1 107M
posts
7/27/2005 10:29 am
Just How Much Of Us Is The Result Of Another's Influence?


For the first time in here I am going serious. Today I just have to. This thought is the result of two fellow bloggers deeply touching my life. I intend to thank them.

CuteAZguy27 lost his father a year ago and wrote a blog to him last month. It is–simply–wonderful. A few days ago duststormdiva lost her father. She wrote a blog sharing her experience as well. Very touching indeed. Both of these wonderful people represent exactly what every parent dreams of having. Children that are loving, caring, attentive, well-rounded, and sincere individuals.

I highly recommend you read their blogs. Not to make spectacle of them, but rather to reintroduce to us all to what loving another truly means. You'll quickly see how dynamically another person can touch a life forever. I thank you both for sharing and openly showing us all how love makes us whole.

Now the hard part, a bit about how a life touched me. In fact, changed me forever. When I was 10 yrs old my mother was diagnosed with MS. Little concrete is known today about Multiple Sclerosis and even less was known back then. As a 10 yr old I was both confused and frightened.

Being the eldest of 2 boys I assumed the household duties of cooking, cleaning, laundry, and conning my brother into helping. Many was the day just I sat, looked out the window at other boys playing, and simply felt sorry for myself. Why couldn't I be out there? Why was this happening me?

As she progressed, she soon lost her ability to talk. At 12 I could no longer hear from her...and how I longed for an "I love you" from my mom. It didn't come. With each day I sank deeper and deeper into depression. It felt as if it was swallowing me, completely consuming me. Back then it wasn't depression...it was just referenced as the blues.

To his credit, my father saw this in my brother and me. He did what he thought best at the time, he enrolled us in martial arts classes. Back then those sort of classes were very few and very far between. We commuted to the Grand Rapids, Michigan region twice each month for lessons. Did he hit the nail on the head.

I didn't ever consider what a gift my mother was giving me. At a time when other boys were learning the male habits that would take half a lifetime to break, I was learning how to be a person...not a male. I learned to sew, cook, clean, everything I needed later in life. I didn't learn to worship sports, treat females as subservient creatures, and definitely didn't learn that I was the superior life form.

And all along I thought she couldn't talk to me. All I had to do was look into her eyes. She told me everything I needed to hear...each and every day. My life was changed forever more thanks to this experience.

Sometimes when we squabble or fuss with loved ones we forget just how much they mean to us. Just how much they have shaped us into who we are. I took a vow at my mother's funeral. Never will I let a day pass without telling my loved ones that I love them and am so proud they are a key part of my life. Each and every day I tell them. We never know when today's I love you will be the last one.

Shirley Jean Orr, thank you. You made me a man. I love you.

[blog talldarkavg1]


duststormdiva 52F
6854 posts
7/27/2005 1:49 pm

talldark, I am speechless. What an experience that must have been for you to have to grow up so quickly. My heart goes out to you. Your experience made you a wonderful caring individual. God bless you and yours.

Diva

DustStormDiva


i6u9we69allnight 41F

7/27/2005 1:55 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mother at a very early age but she dies from Breast Cancer. I was raised by my father who did a wonderful job. I wish she would have been around longer to teach me all the things i needed to know in life, but she went so fast and I was so little that i didnt even know what was going on till it was to late.


BLONDENEEDSSEX 58F

7/27/2005 1:56 pm

WOW I says as the tears roll down my face , I`m am sorry for your heart ache , and I came away from this post with a new respect for you, that was one beautiful piece of writing and tribute to your Mom.I`m sure your Mother would be very proud of you and the REAL man that you are. There is no greater love than that between a parent and child no matter how old they are or if one is no longer here.

Huggs and Kisses
Blonde


ExploreMore4Me 60F

7/27/2005 1:58 pm

TDA..And indeed,you are an incredible man. Your daughters are fortunate to have such a father, as you were so fortunate to have the gifts your parents bestowed upon you and instilled within you. You touch all of us here with your witt and your humor. I for one, though I enjoy the laughter know that behind the comedy and satire, there is a bright, sensitive and caring man. I thank your parents for the gift of you and what you have shared with me and the rest of us here.

Today, I'm not laughing with your blog. Today, I shed a few tears and, then I smiled a smile of gratitude. Thank you TDA...sincerely!

Hugs & Kisses!

EM4M


rm_DaphneR 59F
8023 posts
7/27/2005 1:59 pm

One way or another you manage to make me have tears running down my face. My mom died almost five years ago and I still miss her. Because of that I never leave the house or hang up the phone without telling my daughter that I love her.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.


DirtyLilSecret61 56F

7/27/2005 2:28 pm

We mothers everywhere have just reached for a tissue. THANK YOU.

I'm sure your mother is very proud of you.

"Lil"


DCEbony
1586 posts
7/27/2005 3:11 pm

I was going to make a lame excuse to the effect that I got something in my eye, but hell, I have to tell the truth.

That was a really lovely post and it made me tear up. (Good tears, not bad ones.)

Thanks for sharing.


rm_jayR63 60F
1884 posts
7/27/2005 4:13 pm

I missed those two blogs but they are indeed fortunate to have had a good father.
Not everyone is, even if he was present.


mehappy4u21 54F

7/27/2005 4:35 pm

As I wipe the tears from my eyes, I want to tell you that, You are anything, but average... Once again, but on the deepest level yet, you've touched my heart... I have to eat my words of yesterday that were in response to your Ode to Love blog... You have not only given us a peak, but an incredible insite into your comedic loving heart... Which is, as I suspected, truly yin and yang balanced... I appreciate your sharing of what's made you who you are today... A Beautiful and Very Real Man... THANK YOU!!!

"CuteAZguy27" and "dustormdiva"... I'll admit, I haven't read their blogs YET, but it's obvious they're wonderful people... Both speak words that not only inspire, but bring out the Love and humanity in others... THANK YOU!!!


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:21 pm

Diva it is I who thanks you.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:26 pm

Thank you so much Blonde. I think you are very correct. The parental bond is indeed infinite.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:34 pm

Allnight thank you and may I extend my sympathy at your mother's passing. But you know, I don't really see this as a loss. I was lucky to have known her at all. This experience is not sad. It is very positive. Life is funny, I think maybe all things do have a purpose. It just takes us a bit to figure it all out.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:37 pm

EM4M thank you so much. Be careful what you say...my head swells up pretty easily. I thank my parents for giving me the opportunity to be a parent.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:39 pm

Daphne thank you and Bless you for tending to your daughter's heart. Please accept my condolences on the passing of your mother. It is true what they say you know, as long as we remember...they are immortal.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:42 pm

Thank you Lil. We all need to have the utmost respect for mothers. The hardest, most thankless, most demanding task you'll ever love.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:43 pm

DCE thank you. You might be catching my cold. As I read the comments my eye is doing the very same thing.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/27/2005 5:44 pm

nbtnt...thank you.

[blog talldarkavg1]


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
53M
2642 posts
7/27/2005 6:13 pm

TDA- Thanks for reminding us all of the more important things in life.

Siz


mi_mwpm 52M

7/27/2005 9:24 pm

Excellent post TDA. Having been raised in a female only household until I was 13 or so I know that my view of the world is different than many of the guys out there, and much better in a lot of ways.


no_strings_grrl 45F

7/27/2005 9:29 pm

*kiss*


FunandFrisky79 43M/38F

7/27/2005 9:51 pm

Wow, TDA... that must have been difficult to go through at such a young age. My heart truly goes out to you!

I, too, feel that life is too short to not express your love for others. I lost a child 2 1/2 years ago. He only lived for 5 hours before he became my guardian angel. He taught me so much in the short time he was here, and I am so grateful for the gifts he gave me. It was the most difficult time of my life and I never thought I would be able to pull through. But, I did. Thanks to my friends and family, I am much stronger now. I realize everything happens for a reason, and he is in a much better place than you and I. He is perfect now.

It is very hard losing the ones you love, but knowing that they are always in your heart and watching over you really does make things a little easier to deal with. I have always been taught to never go to bed or leave angry. And, I have always taken that advice very seriously! That is why I always make it a point to say "I love you" as much as possible. I even refuse to go to bed without telling my boyfriend "Sweet Dreams"... because you never know what can happen.

I created a website dedicated to my Angel, and I found the perfect quote for it... "If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again."

Life is so precious, and most people don't realize that until it is too late. I refuse to be one of those people.

]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/28/2005 5:39 am

JayR you are so correct. Sometimes men forget that nearly anybody can sire a child, it is quite another thing to be a father.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/28/2005 5:40 am

MeHappy...no peeking at my skeletons dammit. LOL, thank you for your thoughts.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/28/2005 5:41 am

Sizzle indeed my pleasure. Sometimes I must remind myself where priorities lie.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/28/2005 5:53 am

Huny thank you so much. You think you have tears now? Wait 'til we start smacking that bare butt LMAO.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/28/2005 5:54 am

Mi thank you. I agree, you are indeed fortunate to see both sides at an early age. Certainly lends insight doesn't it?

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/28/2005 5:55 am

Grrl...thank you. A kiss is just what the doctor ordered.

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/28/2005 5:59 am

F&F my heart goes to you. You have endured heartache I cannot imagine and yet see life so accurately. I agree 100% with your vision. You will indeed have your Guardian Angel for all of your years here. Hugs to you and thank you so much for just being you.

Your boyfriend is a very fortunate fellow!

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/28/2005 6:04 am

Thank you Honni. You are so correct. Mother's eyes, mother's touch, and a mother's heart...nothing compares to what anyone of these can say.

Hmmm, blew my cover eh?

[blog talldarkavg1]


FunandFrisky79 43M/38F

7/28/2005 10:38 pm

Thank you for the kind words, TDA! You are too sweet.

You truly are an inspiration to us all!

]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
7/29/2005 5:53 am

F&F thank you. I speak what I feel. It is indeed unusual to encounter a lady as leveled as you are at your age. I do not mean to demean any age group, but it usually takes some time to gain wisdom in life. You're way ahead of the norm.

LMAO...now ditch the boyfriend.

[blog talldarkavg1]


FunandFrisky79 43M/38F

7/29/2005 4:55 pm

TDA, I get that reaction alot. My good friend, Apolybear, says I am an "old soul." Most people think you have to be well into your 30s (or 40s) to have insight. However, I believe wisdom comes from life experience, not age. Besides, my parents taught me alot and always treated me like an individual (as opposed to a child). Thanks to them, I am very family oriented and very open about my feelings.

Ditch the boyfriend, eh? Then, who is going to keep me in line? I need all the help I can get ya know! lol

]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
8/1/2005 5:38 am

Mom & Dad did well. Who'll keep ypu in line? LOL, I'm sure we can come up with a fairly lengthy list.

[blog talldarkavg1]


FunandFrisky79 43M/38F

8/1/2005 3:41 pm

Are YOU on that list, TDA?

(OMG, you know the 3 digit number you have to type in when you reply to a blog? Well, my number for this post is "666"! I wonder what that's all about! "Could it be.... Satan?!" Sorry, old SNL quote.)

]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
8/1/2005 3:47 pm

Actually, I penciled my name at the top and then told everyone else the list was full.

LOL...I love old SNL quotes! Where's the land shark when you need him?

[blog talldarkavg1]


yagottalikit 50F
583 posts
8/1/2005 4:36 pm

Incredibly touching....thank you for showing a side of you that we all knew was there, but never thought we'd get a glimpse of.

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


FunandFrisky79 43M/38F

8/1/2005 9:00 pm

<Knock, Knock>...."Telegram"..... lol

So, you think you can keep me in line, TDA? I'm alot "friskier" than I look!

]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 7:10 am

Yagotta thank you. Never thought I'd do it either

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 7:11 am

Not sure I could keep you in line F&F...however I am pretty good with slip knots LOL

[blog talldarkavg1]


rm_talldarkavg1 107M
10172 posts
8/3/2005 7:13 am

Anemone you're welcome. Thank you for the loving tribute to your father. Loving parents are our National Treasure. And our obligation.

[blog talldarkavg1]


Become a member to create a blog